Friends ?
I remember my 8th standard when I met a guy. He was miser, vulgar, abusive, arrogant, egoist, cunning and never respect anyone also his parents. Everyone used to think like this is only about him. But, I don't know why and what made me realized that one day he can be my very good friend. I used to sit with him in my class and used to talk with him. And the good thing was, his hand writing was too good and he used to make fun of everyone but never in a sense to insult others and he was the only one who was best in both the things, I learned both the things very quickly. And one day I made fun of him in front of whole class from then onwards I became best in that.
We moved to higher standards (11th & 12th), still I was with him and we were friends now (still I was not his friend). I still remember that he was so miser that he sold me his diary, instead of returning me back my 5 /-Rs. He used to eat almost my full lunch that too chapati, daal, sabji and rice. Schooling got over. Then he went for coaching classes for IIT and I went for B.Sc (Maths). I still used to go to his home to meet him and spend some of my time as he was my 2nd friend (I had only 3 friends till that time). Then we both gave Engineering Exam (UPTU) and I got better rank than him but due to some reason we both took admission in same college. Finally I was in Engineering college with my 2nd and 3rd friends as my roommates.
As my roommate in starting he never used to clean the room. He used to get angry if I touches any of his things. His behavior was strange for me, but still I don't know why it was in my mind that we will be good friends one day. He hardly helped me in cleaning the room. And one time that was the limit when he threw some garbage on floor just after I have cleaned the room and when I asked him why he did that then in response I got a question that "who said you to clean, If you want then clean your side only not mine side.". I got so angry but I didn't said a word to him instead I left cleaning room for next few weeks, unless and until he does feel that room needs cleaning. And after one month he says to me that "I think we should clean the room.. :) ". Then on this I said "No dear still the dust is not on our bed". From then onward we started cleaning room together every week.
Engineering got over in studying late night for exams, preparing lunch/dinner/tea. By the end of our engineering we got much synchronization between us. He started sharing his notes (as my notes were better than his.. ;) ). We did every thing in our last days of engineering. Many times on examination night we get into a conversation, which very soon turns into GD, when my other roommates join us. But my and his thoughts were more similar than others. So we used to continue the discussion when other leaves. We never bothered what the time is, some time till 4am we were doing discussion and then we suddenly realized that from 9am/2pm its our exam. But I enjoyed that time.
Engineering got over and we both passed out without jobs in our hand. Then 'Job Search' period started. we went to Delhi first, lived together there then went to Bangalore and there also lived and search job together. He was a miser, that he never used to make phone calls to anyone and that was known to everyone so no one had expected his call and so am I, also. Since engineering I never kept a separate account of what we spent together, instead of this he used to keep all this separate accounting and used to return or ask for any penny that I owe him. But in Bangalore things were changing, he used to round off the expenditure. And I was realizing this and some times I used to be happy that in my 8th standard I have judged some one correctly.
Then I got admission to Post Graduation Diploma(PGD) at Pune. And it was the time to leave him and Bangalore (B'lore). He came to railway station to drop me (which I never expected) and he said something which made me weak, that was "So our company is over" ("Shayad humara saath yahin tak ka tha") then I said "No way I will come b'lore back, any way I wont get job after my PGD also". And above my expectation (desire) he stayed till train left the station completely. And that was really touchy moment for me.
PGD got started with its tight schedule. I never got time to call, any of my friends except at my home. But again above my expectation (desire) he called me and asked how I m there and how things are going on. He talked me for long time.
When I was having my busy schedule of PGD at the same time my brother's marriage got fixed and there was no one in my home who will help my parents for marriage preparation as my brother was working in a place which is very far from my home. At that time (again above my expectation/desire) one day he reached to my home. He didn't informed me about this but as after knocking my home for some time, when no one opened the door then he called me asking that, is everyone out or are there, then I call to my mom saying that he is standing on the door, while she was busy in some work and didn't listened the door knock. I told my mom that today is his b'day. But he came because of some other reason, which my mom told me when he left my home after 2hrs. Mom told me that he was there just to ask that if there is some work of marriage that he can do/share. I was so happy and feeling proud.
And this makes me remind of when for first time I introduced him to my parents and brother and when he left my home my parents and brother were so disappointed and said to me how vulgar and ill-mannered guy he is. Then I explained them that don't listen to his wording try to understand what he wants to express. And from then onwards everyone in my home became habitual of his wordings and now they used to laugh/enjoy with him. And (again above my expectation/desire) when ever he comes to my home in my absence, he sit and talk for a long time with my parents and leaves very late near 12 in night. And he was the only friend in my brother's marriage who has stayed the whole night and was with me.
One day I got to know that I will be visiting US soon. But the day it got confirmed was two days earlier to the day of my travel.
First I called my parents and told them, then to my brother. Yeah they got some what anxious that how I will do the packing in just two days for 3 months. But when I told him he started calling me every night to know my status. I will say he was more curious to know about what all packing and how I did my preparation. And when he came to know that I m leaving alone (which was my first International flight) he told me many things. I still remember one night before the traveling night he called me and asked me what all I did. He said take all maps of all the airports where you have to make transfer at airports. Take the map of the city where you are going. Activate your International Roaming on your phone. Take this, take that, check the path of your flight online. He kept on giving these lessons till 3AM in the morning from 11:30PM in the night. I was feeling sleepy but he was not.
Again he made me realized something and I was very happy that the decision I took in my 8th standard was a great decision and my heart was right, we have good understanding. And now when I was in US (Cedar Rapids), he called me there on ISD with 6 Rs/Min call rate and now I think that the person who was so miser, he is calling me on a ISD (even my brother didn't). And when ever we met in past, he used to say to me that, "You have changed a lot".
For his family, since our engineering I have been listening him abusing his parents. But there was something that always made me to realize that he is not really abusing deep from his heart although, his father had purchased him a Intel Pentium IV second hand PC with 128MB RAM and 24 GB Hard Disk for all his engineering practices in 21st Century. He is the only son with two sisters in his family. And I found him always aware about his responsibilities and the expectations that his family was having from him. And because I understand him I got his point which he never explained to me, behind his abusing for his parents. He just never wanted to broadcast this. But later he told me about all these things. And now when he became open to me and talk about his family, I realize the feeling and respect he has for his sisters and parents is very high and he remember all small details and event of his family.
So are we friends ? And what is friendship ? What all we desire from a friend ?
I never expect/desire anything from my friends in short what I came to know about friendship and friends is, not how a person is helpful to you or not. There are many friends some help you with their hands, some with their 'thought n advice' and of course some with money. And we think adding a friend on FB or Orkut, the person who comments good on your status and pic is our friend. Actually my close friends those who understand me have never commented on my profile except few times. He always knew what I'm. He knows most of my strengths and weakness. This is how a friend always come and supports you when ever you need him/her because he knows your weakness where you lacks.
Friendship happens in silence and with patience. Have Trust, give Respect and understand each others Feelings. And above all, its just a feeling which comes from deep of you heart for a person, that he can be your friend or not. You will never know but your heart knows better... ;)