Merritt Song: #218 When He Cometh Title: Behold the Bridegroom
Scripture: Isaiah 61:10, As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, and as a bride adorns herself with jewels.
When Socrates reached his 50s, he got married and took a wife, Xanthippe. She was hot tempered. He was no ideal husband. He would leave home each morning and return home quite late. But there was never any paycheck. Once he was discussing ideas in his house with his friends, philosophizing. They were discussing non-stop the whole day until his wife was fed up, scolded them and chased them out of the house. Outside, they kept discussing till midnight. Xanthippe finally couldn’t take it. She took a pail of water and poured it on them. The philosopher, soaking wet said, “You know my friends, after the thunder, there will always come the rain.” Many people go into marriage for many reasons. Socrates said, “By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”
Isaiah 54:5, “Your Maker is YOUR husband, the Lord Almighty is His name.” Jesus speaks of himself as bridegroom. People asked Jesus, “How is it John’s disciples and disciples of Pharisees are fasting, but Yours are not?” Jesus replied, “How can guests of the bridegroom fast while He is with them? They cannot so long as they have Him with them. But time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them, and on that day they will fast,” Mark 2:18-20. Apostle Paul says, “I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to Him. The bride will have a sincere and pure devotion to Christ.”
During Bible days, a daughter would live in her father’s house until she got married. If she never married, she didn’t move out of her family home. If father died she would live with her brother or uncle. The only way for her to leave was through marriage. If a man wanted to marry her, he had to ask her father. If father was agreeable, he would set the bride price. Father had complete authority. He could either give his daughter’s hand in marriage or not. Now if father accepted the bride price, the couple went through a formal ceremony entering a state of marriage called betrothal. Bride price is paid by the groom to the bride's family, but ultimately belongs to the bride. It changed her status and set her free from her parent's household.
To prepare for betrothal, bride and groom separately take a ritual immersion, symbol of spiritual cleansing. After separate immersion, they’d appear together under a canopy, and in public express their intention. From ancient times, wedding canopy was symbol of a new household. Psalm 19: 5, Which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion, like a champion rejoicing to run his course. While under the canopy, they’d exchange rings, and shared a cup of wine to seal betrothal vows. After the ceremony, couple entered betrothal agreement to last a year. A couple was considered married yet continued to live separately. The groom would return home to fulfill his part. Just prior to leaving, he’d give his wife-to-be a bridal gift, to remind his bride during separation of his love, that he was thinking of her, and he’d return for his wife.
Through Jesus, we the bride, receive many gifts: Forgiveness, eternal life, fruits of the spirit, spiritual gifts. What bride would say to her bridegroom’s gifts, “No, I can’t accept them.” Yet many of us do that to our Bridegroom Jesus. After betrothal ceremony, with a heavy heart, bride would watch her husband leave. She’d remain in her father’s house while the groom returned to his home to prepare a place for her. Sadness of heart was mixed with joyful expectation, for she received from her husband a pledge, promise he would come back. When everything is ready, I will come get you, so you’ll always be with me where I am. Groom's focus was preparing a new dwelling place for his bride.
SONG: MOTHER’S PRAYER FOR DAUGHTER-IN-LAW
In Bible times they added rooms to the family's existing home. John 14:1-3, Jesus made the typical bridegroom speech, "I go to prepare a place for you". And He went like any Jewish bridegroom back to His Father's house. He’s fulfilling His part of betrothal obligations. The contract and money were the bride’s security that he’d return no matter how long it took to build the bridal chamber. Rabbis determined the place the bride was to be taken must be better than the place she lived before. It was not groom's duty to say when the place he was preparing for the bride was ready; his father would decide and give go-ahead to receive his bride. If asked the date of his wedding the groom would have to reply, "Only my father knows."
The bride took ritual baths, prepared her clothing and practiced with her make-up for a year. It was no small task for the bride to prepare as she paid attention to every detail of her appearance. She was to prepare without spot or blemish. Her veil in public showed she was bought with a price. She made herself pure and beautiful for wedding day. Wedding garments were sewn. Adorning of the bride was very costly, elaborate affair. Every effort was done to make her complexion glossy, shining like marble, "that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace," Psalm 144:12.
Her dark hair was braided with gold and pearls, precious stones and jewels her family inherited from past generations. Those who were too poor to afford much would borrow what they could from friends. Wedding festivities, and especially the bride's adornment, would always be remembered by her. "Can a maid forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire?" Jeremiah 2:32. The Apostle John saw New Jerusalem "prepared as a bride adorned for her husband" Revelation 21:2. Jesus came from his Father’s house in Heaven to get His bride on earth. John 17:8, “For I have given them the words that You gave Me, and they have received them and have come to know in truth that I came from You; and they have believed that You sent Me.” The prospective husband came down from heaven and paid the bride price with everything precious. Jesus paid for us with His life.
Jesus is a true Bridegroom. He gives tender, abiding love. Because Jesus is our Bridegroom, He can be wounded if we take up self-chosen crosses, choosing our own way and resolving to make sacrifices to earn our own salvation. Surely He wants us to follow Him, but His heart is filled with grief and sorrow if it isn’t love that motivates us. Only what springs from love will please God. Anything else would wound Him, because it’s simply religious deceit, for we seem to be going His way, but it’s really for our own sake and ulterior motive, not love for Him.
Jesus is a strong Bridegroom; He stands as Protector. He strives on her behalf. To be a bride means that one is no longer alone. It means an intimate partner who lives for His bride and does everything He can for her. She is no longer single. Therefore when we choose to keep going it alone, striving to earn our own way to heaven, we have rejected provisions of the Bridegroom. It is His very nature to seek His bride in unending love, for Jesus is never fickle. The Bible says He changes not and is consistent, constant, dependable, trustworthy.
The ritual cleansing of bride is baptism of water and spirit. A marriage is based on faith. A man and woman must have faith in one another to make a verbal commitment of love before God and man. We come to know Jesus, we believe His proposal and we make a verbal profession of our love before God and man. We enter into a new union that lasts forever, and death will never separate us so long as we remain in Christ. For Christ offers His bride eternal life.
I’ve heard our Church today is the bride of Christ and if this were true then those who lived before, and those who live after, will not be united to Christ. New Jerusalem, as recorded in Revelation 21 is a symbolic picture of the complete bride. The gates to the city are named for 12 tribes of Israel and foundations are named for 12 apostles. So the church through all ages is the complete bride of Christ. At this time Jesus stands with open arms, reaching out to any that will accept His proposal of ‘marriage’.
SONG: YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING
Once the groom paid the price, marriage covenant was established; the couple were regarded husband and wife. From that moment on, the bride was declared consecrated or sanctified, set apart and given holy status for her bridegroom. Once the bride’s father agreed to finalize terms, the decision of the young woman was whether she wanted to marry or not - she was not forced but had free will. If she agreed, she would take a cup of wine that was placed on the table and she would take a sip, after which the young man would also drink, sealing betrothal.
The cup of communion serves as symbol of covenant through which Christ has obtained HIS bride. 1Corinthians 11:25, In the same way He took the cup after supper saying, “This cup is the new covenant between God and His people, an agreement confirmed with My blood. Do this to remember Me as often as you drink it.” Jesus was performing communion as Bridegroom covenant.
The bride would wait for her groom to carry her off to her new home. It was time of great anticipation. It was her responsibility to be waiting every day no matter how long it took. The bride didn't want to be caught away from home when the bridegroom came. Tradition was he’d come at night, even midnight, to take her by surprise. It was an "abduction" as the bride was "stolen" from her house. She would be waiting with bridesmaids and sisters and they would all have oil in their lamps. Suddenly, one night he WOULD come!
In Jewish wedding, one of the groom's men would go before the groom and shout, “Behold the groom comes”. At our Lord's return, there will indeed be a shout, "Behold the groom comes!" The bride's father and brothers would look the other way, as long as it was the young man owning the contract, and the bride and her friends would be whisked off into the night. When the bride heard that shout, she would know she was as good as married!
It was the father of the groom who gave final approval for the marriage to begin. Jesus told His disciples He did not know the day or hour of His return (Matthew 24:32-36) as with any Jewish bridegroom; He must wait for His Father to give word the set time has come. When it was time to go for the bride, the groom was dressed as much like a king as possible. If he were rich enough to afford it, he wore a gold crown. Otherwise it would be a garland of flowers. His garments would be scented with frankincense and myrrh, his girdle would be brilliantly colored silk, his sandals carefully laced, and there would be "flowing drapery of loose robes.” Even the peasant seemed a prince. "He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has covered me with robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments", Isaiah 61:10.
SONG: I WILL BE HERE FOR YOU
As bride of Christ we must not seek after other providers. Hosea said, When she runs after her lovers, she won’t be able to catch them. She will search for them but not find them. Then she will think, “I might as well return to my husband, for I was better off with him than I am now.” She doesn’t realize it was I who gave her everything she has, the grain, new wine, the olive oil; I even gave her silver and gold. But she gave all my gifts to false gods. But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will make you my wife forever, show you righteousness, justice, unfailing love and compassion. I will be faithful to you and make you Mine, and you will finally know Me as the Lord.
We must allow our ‘Husband’ Jesus to be head over us, and always follow His lead. Are we excited about our relationship with Jesus? Are we respecting Him as our husband or are we nagging and bickering? Are we annoyed because He does the laundry different than the way we like? In marriage to Christ, there is commitment, covenant, and desire to communicate. When we marry Christ, we break all ties with our ex that came before Jesus. If we keep talking about our ex, that is not good security for the marriage.
When we become Christ’s bride, we make vows of faith. Being intimate through prayer and worship, spending time together, talking, being happy together with Jesus. People look at church attendance, at God as “religion” not “relationship”. But God never called us to religion. He always ever wanted relationship with us. Jesus is the Husband, we the bride; worshiping, praying, reading the Bible and meditating on His word are how we spend intimate time with Him. Relationships don’t build or grow when there is no investment of time. Jesus is a spouse who doesn’t have something better to do when you want to spend time with Him. He’s already made time for us.
The joyous celebration is marriage supper. Matthew 26:29, Jesus said, “I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s Kingdom.” Jesus is speaking of the second cup that the Bride of Christ will share with Him one glorious day. Many people see the second coming of Jesus as doomsday, but it is actually a wedding celebration for the whole universe! Jesus is not coming back for a church, but for a BRIDE. Revelation 19:6-7, “Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready.”
SONG: I CAN ONLY IMAGINE