Post date: Aug 3, 2009 12:58:18 PM
A week ago I was in Richmond, BC at my brother's house. His wife Susie had been battling breast cancer since 2002, and she recently had hip replacement surgery. She was having a hard time, so I went up to help. I overlapped one day with my sister, who had been visiting the week before. She was heading back to the east coast.
My sister spent Sunday showing me the ropes. I mastered the pill schedule and met the visiting nurse. I learned how to make smoothies. I unpacked my suitcase and prepared to settle in for the week.
Sunday night went badly. My brother was up with his wife all night. By morning, we called the doctor. It was determined that Susie's condition had deteriorated to the point that we couldn't take care of her at home. The visiting nurse spent all day trying to find her a bed in either hospice or palliative care. In mid-afternoon, an ambulance arrived to take Susie to the palliative care unit of the Richmond Hospital.
From that point on, things went downhill with dizzying speed. No sooner would we adjust to the latest changes than things would shift again. Susie's sister and brother flew in from the US. My brother, his and Susie's 3 kids (late teens, early 20's), me, and Susie's siblings organized ourselves into a round-the-clock vigil at Susie's bedside. Time stood still. We entered a different reality. Every day I took a book with me, but I never once opened the cover. We talked, we laughed, we reminisced, we cried, we sat in meditative silence.
On Sunday Susie could talk, albeit with effort. On Monday, at the hospital, Susie seemed to be aware of what was going on, but she only communicated when asked a direct question by the medical staff. On Tuesday her breathing became more labored, and she seemed to be slipping into her own world. By Wednesday morning, she was struggling to breathe at all. Shortly after noon on Wednesday, she breathed her last breath. It was her 54th birthday.
Susie was the world's greatest mom. She had a masters degree from Stanford, but her passion was family life. She loved to bake and make quilts. She loved her 3 rescue dogs, Troy, Riley, and Addie. She found the most joy in the simple things in life. If anyone deserved to live to see her grandchildren, it was Susie. I will never be reconciled to her loss.