7 Hour Empathy Circle Marathon
How Can We Go Deeper In The Empathy Circle?
2026-09-19 

Video: 7 Hour Empathy Circle Marathon

Based on the introductions at the beginning of the meeting (and some additional context they shared about their backgrounds shortly after), here is the summary of each member:

• Edwin: The host and facilitator of the marathon. He skips a formal introduction because he notes that everyone in the group already knows him, but he sets the agenda and manages the meeting's structure.

Dear Beata, Susan, William, Teri and Ingrid,
I really enjoy these empathy circle marathons. This is the 3rd one I’ve taken part in..  I can’t believe how fast they go. I would have liked another hour for a full 8 hour marathon. Maybe we could event try a longer one in person some time.

Beata, I enjoy reading your post marathon reports. I feel uplifted reading them. I don’t know anyone in London doing empathy circles.  We could create a LinkedIn empathy circle event online and invite only people from London area as a way of finding some. You could also form a London Empathy Center Chapter.  Glad to talk more about it.

The video and report are here.

https://www.empathycircle.com/schedule/schedule-2026/2026-09-19-marathon-deeper
Youtube transcribes the video and you can use Gemini AI and give it the Youtube video link and ask it to give reports about what was discussed in the marathon.. There are several reports on the page.

Beata,  Ingrid and I want to set up a test of a closed group of a 4 or 6 week Empathy Circle as a test of the paid circle process.  We meet Saturday Sep 26, 11am PT to discuss. This could be the closed group you were suggesting?

Susan’s concerns about the way we do active listening is still unresolved for me. Susan, can discuss this in our next meeting?

Thanks for you comments Janna.

Warmly

Edwin

• Susan: A professional who has taught intensive, two-day listening programs for major corporations like Pacific Bell. She later mentions that she has a PhD in counseling psychology and a background working as a psychology professor at a community college.

• William: The president of the Santa Barbara chapter of the empathy organization, where he hosts an in-person empathy cafe every Sunday morning. He serves on the board of directors for the parent organization and describes himself as a semi-retired electrical engineer and poet.
    Dear All,

I am still reverberating from our Marathon and am up for doing it again. Perhaps we can go deeper into going deeper?

 What stands out for me from our circle is that boundaries are important, that the reflector is in a position of power and can manipulate the speaker into opening up more than perhaps they are comfortable with. So permissions and intentions are very important.

 Also, I think that the perceived safety of the container is directly related to the depth that might occur in a circle. 

I was cognizant of what we discussed while facilitating a circle at yesterday’s café. I really focused on creating a safe place and the circle was profound.  Thanks to you all for your passion and perseverance. 

Blessings,

William

• Beata: A psychotherapist and coach originally from Poland, currently located in London, UK. She works for a homeless charity in London and participates in empathy circles on a weekly basis.

Post Circle Email:
Dear Edwin, Susan, William, Terri and Ingrid,

I woke up this morning, I was still feeling something very beautiful from being with you yesterday. I could still feel our connection, passion and dedication for the EC process.

I also feel that our question about what it means to go deeper in EC is still a little open for me. And I actually like that. I have a feeling that staying with this question will take me somewhere deeper.

I was also wondering about trying a closed group for a few weeks. Maybe having the same people together, with more familiarity and safety, could allow something deeper to develop over time.

And I have to say, I was really touched hearing how many of you live close to each other, see each other in person, and have friendships that aren't only online. I really love that.

So I wanted to ask: do you know anyone in London who is also passionate about EC and might like to meet in person? I know a few people in the UK, but I would love to meet more people in London and perhaps host something here. It would be lovely to make EC more active in London.

If anyone comes to mind, I would really appreciate it if you could pass on their name.

Thinking of you all with care. I am looking forward to another experience together. ❤️

            Beata

• Ingrid: Educated as a social worker, she previously built a small food business centered around social activism with a "pay-as-you-can" model. She has studied Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and has been deeply involved with the empathy center for about three years.

Terry McGovern: Located in Chandler, Arizona. She describes having a highly sensitive nervous system and values the healthy structure the circles provide. Her varied background includes English literature, writing poetry and music, teaching yoga, and working as a physical therapist assistant where she previously helped train a hospital in empathy. She also practices and teaches "vagal toning," a somatic nervous system practice.
      Hi Everyone,

Beata, I remember a gentleman from near London who participated in a past online training. I reached out to him about passing his contact information on to you.

Like William and Beata, I’d appreciate continuing to explore how we go deeper in empathy circles.

I was also very touched by our time together, especially the tenderness and protectiveness I perceived around how we all prefer to meet needs in the circle, and by how deeply the importance of creating spaces where people are heard seemed to touch everyone present.

It was a bit of a shock to go to my musical activities Sunday morning and be surrounded by everyone rushing to get their words in so we could get on with our singing. I realized that I may be perceived there as less assertive because I tend to make space for others rather than get my own ideas in quickly. And yet, the director of music regularly tells me that I am a main reason our program has become more diverse, which is extremely popular with the congregation. I’m struck by how much empathy circle practice has influenced my sense of what makes communal time joyful and meaningful, and equally struck by how that is affecting others without them even participating in an empathy circle!!

Another example is something my 16-year-old son is now doing naturally: participating in and initiating the de-escalation of tensions between us by attempting to help us both be heard and understood. I believe this is another indirect result of my own empathy circle practice.

Thank you again, Edwin, for founding The Empathy Center. 🙏🏽

With care,

Teri 

Gemini: Analyze this YouTube meeting recording at:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFXEVhEotP8 

Provide a structured summary with the following sections:
      Short Meeting Overview: A short 2-3 sentence executive summary of the meeting's overview. do not include time codes.

Paragraph Meeting Overview: A more extensive paragraph executive summary of the meeting's main purpose. do not include time codes.

A Step by Step Outline of the discussion with time code. "Break down this meeting transcript into chronological chapters or phases based on the topic being discussed. For each phase, provide:

• • Topic Title: The main subject matter. Time code: start and end.

  • Core Discussion Points: A concise summary of the conversation, arguments, or updates presented.

  • Outcome: How that specific topic was resolved or wrapped up before moving to the next item."

Key Decisions Made: A bulleted list of any final decisions agreed upon during the call.

Short Meeting Overview

This seven-hour Empathy Circle marathon focuses on exploring what it means to "go deeper" into empathic listening and connection. Throughout the session, participants actively practice the Empathy Circle format while debating the merits of verbatim repetition versus reflecting the deeper essence of a speaker's message. The group also experiments with listening and somatic exercises to discover new ways to regulate the nervous system and foster profound mutual understanding.

Paragraph Meeting Overview

This recorded Empathy Circle marathon brings together experienced practitioners to explore the central theme of "going deeper" into empathic listening. A core debate runs throughout the session, sparked by a participant's concern that standard training relies too heavily on "parroting"—repeating a speaker's words verbatim—rather than listening for the underlying essence and non-verbal cues. 

While some argue that capturing the essence is crucial for true connection and effective listening, others defend verbatim reflection as a vital, inclusive baseline that allows beginners to participate and naturally fosters safety over time. Interspersed with these conceptual reflections, the group actively practices the Empathy Circle format and tests out new experiential methodologies, including a simultaneous "voice mirror" listening exercise and a somatic "vagal toning" practice. Ultimately, the meeting serves to balance the desire for advanced, emotionally resonant listening with the foundational need for an inclusive, accessible space for all skill levels.

Step by Step Outline

Chapter 1: Introductions and Agenda Setting

• Time code: 00:00:01 - 00:12:00

• Core Discussion Points: Participants introduce themselves, sharing their diverse backgrounds in therapy, social work, and non-violent communication. The facilitator, Edwin, sets the agenda for the marathon, establishing the main topic as how to "go deeper" in Empathy Circles and addressing ongoing concerns about "parroting" in the community's training methodology.

• Outcome: The group successfully establishes the guidelines, selects a timekeeper, and agrees on the structure for the upcoming hours.
  
  

Chapter 2: Exploring "Parroting" vs. Reflecting the Essence

• Time code: 00:12:00 - 02:36:50

• Core Discussion Points: The group conducts an extended Empathy Circle where Susan expresses deep frustration that trainers are teaching people to repeat statements word-for-word. She argues this stifles true listening, which should capture the underlying emotional essence. Other participants counter that simplicity and exact repetition make the practice accessible to newcomers, organically creating a safe container that leads to depth.

• Outcome: Participants acknowledge and validate Susan's perspective, while collectively recognizing that simplicity serves as a vital entry point for inclusivity. Mutual understanding is deepened without demanding immediate structural changes to the standard training.
  
  

Chapter 3: Integrating Mirrored Motion and Defining "Deeper"

• Time code: 02:36:50 - 04:20:00

• Core Discussion Points: After a brief break, the group introduces "mirrored motion"—a physical exercise at the start of a speaking turn to ground participants in their bodies. The discussion shifts to defining what "going deeper" actually means, exploring whether it requires catharsis, strict boundary-setting, or simply holding space for joy and presence.

• Outcome: The group concludes that "going deeper" is highly subjective—ranging from intellectual exploration to intense emotional release—and highlights the importance of the speaker communicating their specific needs to the listener.

Chapter 4: The "Voice Mirror" Exercise

• Time code: 04:20:00 - 04:36:00

• Core Discussion Points: Susan leads a "voice mirror" exercise, instructing participants to speak simultaneously with her (and eventually silently mouth the words) to bypass internal judgment and self-talk.

• Outcome: While participants find the exercise thought-provoking and acknowledge its potential utility for staying calm in high-conflict situations, they conclude that the audio lag and cacophony of the Zoom platform make it difficult to execute effectively online.

Chapter 5: Discussion on Restorative Circles and Inclusivity

• Time code: 04:36:00 - 05:07:30

• Core Discussion Points: Participants resume the Empathy Circle format, providing feedback on the voice mirror exercise. The conversation naturally shifts toward the applications of restorative circles for polarized individuals and reiterates the importance of maintaining an inclusive environment where anyone, regardless of language barriers or skill level, is welcomed.

• Outcome: The group firmly affirms that the core value of the Empathy Circle is unconditional inclusion, validating that both advanced listening techniques and basic participation have a rightful place in the community.

Chapter 6: Vagal Toning Somatic Practice

• Time code: 05:07:30 - 05:43:20

• Core Discussion Points: Terry leads the group through a somatic "vagal toning" session. The practice involves mindful breathing, gentle self-massage around the eyes, temples, and jaw, and stimulating the vagus nerve via the ears to regulate the nervous system.

• Outcome: Participants report feeling significantly more relaxed, centered, and physically attuned, recognizing the high value of integrating body-based practices to cultivate an empathetic state.

Chapter 7: Final Reflections and Check-Out

• Time code: 05:43:20 - 06:56:47

• Core Discussion Points: In the final hour, the group reflects on the somatic exercise and returns to the initial debate on listening styles. Susan apologizes if her critiques felt judgmental, while others reassure her that her push for quality listening is highly valued. Participants express deep gratitude for the marathon experience, the emotional safety of the group, and their shared commitment to empathy.

• Outcome: The meeting concludes with a strong sense of community and mutual respect. Participants agree to consider starting future marathons earlier in the day to better accommodate European time zones.

Key Decisions Made

• Validation of Baseline Practices: The group agreed that verbatim repetition ("parroting") serves as an essential, inclusive starting point for beginners, though advanced listeners are encouraged to naturally progress toward reflecting the deeper essence.

• Zoom Limitations Recognized: It was determined that the simultaneous "voice mirror" exercise, while conceptually valuable for self-regulation, is not highly effective over video conferencing due to audio overlapping.

• Speaker-Led Depth: The group decided that "going deeper" should always be guided by the speaker's own preferences and consent, rather than forced or assumed by the listener.

• Scheduling Adjustments: It was agreed to consider adjusting the start times of future marathon sessions to be earlier in the day to better accommodate international participants.

What were some conclusions about how to go deeper in the Empathy Circle? 

Speaker Agency and Explicit Requests: The most direct route to depth is for the speaker to explicitly state how they want to be heard. If verbatim reflection feels superficial or performative, the speaker can take charge of their time and request the listener to paraphrase, focus on the emotional essence, or simply hold space in silence.

Somatic and Body-Based Integration: Incorporating physical check-ins—like the mirrored motion exercise or the vagal toning sequence—helps participants bypass pure intellect. Grounding the nervous system organically opens access to deeper emotional states and physical presence.

Reframing Depth Beyond Trauma: "Going deeper" does not exclusively mean achieving a painful emotional catharsis or digging into trauma. Depth is equally found in profound joy, shared celebration, and the simple, intense aliveness of feeling fully accepted by a group.

Listening for the Essence (The Advanced Track): While verbatim reflection serves as a necessary, inclusive baseline, listening from a quiet, spacious internal state to capture the core emotional meaning is a key step forward. This brief, essence-focused reflection allows the speaker to stay in their own flow and explore their inner experience more profoundly without losing their train of thought.

Modeling Vulnerability: Depth is contagious. When participants or facilitators take the risk to share something deeply personal or vulnerable early in the process, it acts as a clear, non-verbal permission slip for the rest of the group to drop their defenses.

The Mechanics of Time: Depth often requires duration. The extended timeframe of a marathon natively breaks down social conditioning. By the second or third round of a standard circle, participants naturally shift from intellectualizing to authentic sharing simply because they have settled into the certainty that they will be heard.

Strict Consent and Boundaries: Listeners must never "push" a speaker into deep emotional territory—such as through unsolicited needs-guessing or psychoanalysis—without explicit consent. Unspoken expectations to achieve a therapeutic breakthrough can ruin the psychological safety required for actual vulnerability. True depth happens because the space is safe, not because the listener forced it.

Zoom Meeting Summary

Quick recap

This meeting was a 7-hour empathy circle marathon focused on exploring how to go deeper in empathy circle practice, with Edwin, Susan, William, Beata, Ingrid, and Teri participating as facilitators and participants. The discussion centered around Susan's concerns about "parroting" in empathy circles, where listeners repeat speakers' exact words rather than reflecting the essence of their meaning, which she found superficial compared to her previous experiences with deeper listening practices. 

The group explored various perspectives on this issue, with participants sharing their backgrounds, experiences, and views on accessibility versus depth in empathy circles. Key insights included the idea that simplicity and parroting can serve as accessible entry points for new participants while providing a foundation for deeper connection over time, and the importance of respecting participants' comfort levels rather than forcing deeper engagement. The conversation also touched on the role of the listener in supporting speakers and the balance between accessibility and advanced listening practices.

Next steps

Beata

• Consider writing a report about the marathon empathy circle experience.

Edwin

• Rotate the responsibility of timekeeping among the group members.

• Follow up with Susan to discuss her concerns about the listening training and explore how to incorporate her suggestions.

• Explore and potentially incorporate additional activities (e.g., mirrored motion, voice mirror, vagal toning) into the empathy circle structure.

Ingrid

• Consider how to incorporate Susan's suggestions for training into the Empathy Circle, while maintaining inclusivity.

Susan

• Model her preferred style of listening (reflecting the essence briefly) during the empathy circle process.

• Be in touch with William regarding his upcoming medical treatment.

Terry

• Adjust the timing of future vagal toning sessions to accommodate participants in different time zones.

William

• Continue to work on the disclaimer for the Empathy Cafe regarding the potential for evoking strong emotions.

• Explore the possibility of introducing a restorative circle process, with the understanding that it may require a restructuring of the current process.

Summary

Quick Administrative Meeting

Edwin briefly greeted Susan and William during what appeared to be a quick administrative meeting, noting that Susan was muted.

Deepening Empathy Circle Practices

The meeting focused on exploring how to go deeper in empathy circle practices, with participants sharing their experiences and concerns. Susan expressed concern about what she observed as parroting in empathy circle examples on the website, where listeners were repeating speakers' exact words rather than reflecting the essence of their meaning. Ingrid shared her initial reaction to empathy circles as being too surface-level compared to her NVC practice background, but described a significant recent experience of feeling deeply accepted and seen in a group, suggesting that different circles may serve different needs. The group discussed their backgrounds and experiences with empathy circles, with plans to conduct exercises throughout the 7-hour session to explore ways to deepen the empathy circle experience.

Empathy Circles Discussion

The group discussed the practice of empathy circles, focusing on the concern about "parroting" versus deeper reflection. William shared his experience facilitating empathy circles with an international peace organization, including a story about a participant from England who initially rejected the parroting approach but later apologized and found it "revolutionary." The discussion explored how the simplicity of parroting can serve as an accessible foundation that allows participants to gradually develop deeper listening skills over time, with Beata noting that the process often leads to feelings of nourishment despite its simple structure. The group agreed that additional explanations and training materials are needed to help participants understand how to progress from basic reflection to deeper empathy practices.

Empathy Circle Listening Techniques Discussion

The group discussed different approaches to empathy circle listening techniques, with Susan expressing concerns about the practice of having listeners speak as long as speakers, arguing it diverts attention from the speaker and could make speakers lose track of their thoughts. William and Ingrid defended the approach, emphasizing that inclusiveness and positive regard are crucial, while Beata noted that the process naturally leads to deeper connection over time. The discussion highlighted different perspectives on advanced listening techniques versus making the process accessible to all participants, with Susan advocating for a more minimalist approach focused on being present and caring rather than repeating every word.

Empathy Circle Listening Practices

The group discussed different approaches to empathy circle listening practices, with Susan expressing frustration about being expected to repeat words verbatim when her natural listening style involves embodying and reflecting the essence of what someone says. Teri shared her experience of taking detailed notes during conversations to help with learning and memory, while Ingrid described her practice of preparing physically and emotionally to create space for the other person. The discussion concluded with Edwin volunteering to take over timekeeping responsibilities from Teri and expressing a desire to better understand Susan's listening approach through observation rather than lecture.

Empathy Circle Boundaries Discussion

The group discussed the nature and boundaries of empathy circles, with William sharing his experience of a negative reaction to being encouraged to share deeply vulnerable content during his first training. Susan expressed concerns about the current listening approach in empathy circle training, arguing that repeating words verbatim doesn't effectively demonstrate listening and empathy. Ingrid clarified that the empathy circle process is designed to meet multiple needs through structured speaking turns rather than providing deep cathartic therapy, emphasizing that speakers are responsible for indicating when they feel heard. The discussion highlighted different approaches to listening across various communities and the importance of context in determining appropriate listening techniques.

Empathy Cafe Process Discussion

The group discussed the Empathy Cafe process and Teri shared her experience from a recent compassionate communication course where she practiced somatic exercises and journaling. William explained the standard Empathy Cafe process for new participants and shared his thoughts about potentially incorporating judgment into the circle, though he acknowledged the current structure works well. Susan expressed concerns about the current parroting approach in the empathy circles, arguing it focuses on words rather than the essence of messages and doesn't allow for proper somatic experiences. The conversation ended with Ingrid requesting a bathroom break, leading to a short break for the group.

Empathy Circle Practices Discussion

The group discussed different aspects of empathy circle practices, focusing on reflection techniques and the concept of "going deeper" in conversations. William raised questions about boundary settings when exploring deeper emotions, while Ingrid suggested announcing intentions at the beginning of circles to ensure everyone's consent. Beata shared her preference for calm, brief reflections during personal sharing, emphasizing the importance of maintaining a spacious and equal sharing environment. The discussion also highlighted the unique value of empathy circles in creating equal opportunities for speaking and listening, with Edwin appreciating the physical movement activities for bringing more aliveness to the process.

Empathy Circle Discussion Challenges

The group discussed challenges and insights around empathy, listening, and reflection in empathy circles. Teri shared her experience of feeling a "heaviness" around empathy and expressed a desire to better communicate how she wants to be heard, while Beata suggested focusing on clarifying one's own needs for effective empathy practice. William and Beata explored the concept of "going deeper" in personal growth and the universal human desire to learn and grow. Susan, a professor of psychology, expressed concerns about the current training approach, perceiving it as emphasizing parroting rather than essential reflection, and suggested focusing more on paraphrasing key points to better support speakers. Ingrid acknowledged Susan's feedback and emphasized the importance of reflecting key messages to help speakers feel heard and supported.

Empathy Circle Feedback Discussion

Ingrid discussed her reaction to Susan's criticism about the empathy circle training, expressing that while she heard Susan's feedback, she felt hurt by what she perceived as a lack of recognition for the good work being done by the group. William reflected on his desire for honest reflection and acknowledged his fear of hearing difficult truths, while Teri shared feelings of gratitude for the empathy circle and expressed appreciation for Susan's contributions. The group explored ways to go deeper in their discussions and create more inclusive spaces where people can express unmet needs while still meeting others' needs.

Inclusivity and Communication Strategies

Ingrid shared her personal experience with feeling excluded and discussed how a recent incident in Vienna highlighted her sensitivity to inclusivity issues. Susan explained her approach to deeper listening, emphasizing the importance of reflecting the essence of what speakers say briefly to create a safe space for them to continue sharing. The group agreed to extend speaking time to 10 minutes and took a brief lunch break before resuming with Beata's turn to share.

Listening Skill Voice Mirror Demonstration

Susan demonstrated a listening skill called "Voice Mirror" that involves simultaneously saying and hearing what another person is saying, and she invited the group to practice this technique on Zoom. The participants attempted the exercise, with mixed results, and Edwin provided feedback comparing it to parroting and questioning its alignment with empathy circle principles. William then shifted the discussion to restorative circles, expressing interest in learning this skill set to help resolve conflicts with two people in his life, and shared insights about community building and safety in circles.

Empathy Circle Voice Mirroring Exercise

The group discussed an empathy circle exercise involving voice mirroring, where participants took turns speaking while others practiced mirroring their words internally. William introduced the concept, drawing from a men's circle practice called "housecleaning" that had a powerful impact during a retreat. The participants shared their experiences with the exercise, with some finding it challenging due to the cacophony of voices on Zoom but others finding it effective for deepening listening skills. The discussion highlighted the importance of inclusivity in the empathy circle, with participants noting how the group welcome late arrivals and participants with varying English proficiency levels.

Vagal Toning Session Introduction

The group discussed transitioning to a vagal toning session, with Ingrid stepping away to check on her granddaughter and Beata taking over timing responsibilities with Edwin's guidance. Teri led the session, explaining that vagal toning is a body-based practice based on Dr. Arielle Schwartz's modality, and guided participants through a series of practices including a poem by Ryokan, self-touch, and eye care techniques. The session focused on inviting participants to follow their own body's guidance and sensations while performing the practices, with Teri emphasizing that the approach was entirely optional and based on personal comfort.

Facial Massage and Empathy Training

Teri led a guided practice session focusing on facial massage techniques and vagus nerve stimulation, followed by a brief empathic listening exercise between Teri and Susan. During the empathic listening, Susan expressed disappointment about the current empathy circle training methods, particularly regarding the emphasis on word-for-word repetition rather than focusing on tone and body language. Susan's concerns appeared to stem from a personal connection with Bill, who had expressed upset about her comments during a previous summit, leading to her feeling concerned about damaging a long-standing friendship while also wanting to contribute her perspective on more effective listening practices.

Empathy Circle Technique Discussion

The group conducted a 7-hour empathy circle marathon focused on vagal toning exercises and reflection practices. Susan expressed concerns about the current reflection technique, feeling it involved too much parroting rather than reflecting the essence of what speakers shared, though this approach was being taught in training sessions. The discussion revealed tension between wanting deeper, more authentic empathic listening and maintaining the structure of the existing empathy circle format. Several participants, including William and Teri, shared personal experiences and challenges, with William discussing his upcoming stereotactic radiosurgery and Teri expressing anxiety about not receiving feedback from all participants. The conversation ended with plans to address the reflection technique concerns and potentially start future sessions earlier to accommodate participants in different time zones.

Attendees: Edwin Rutsch (Organizer), Teri McGovern-Nintzel (External), Ingrid Hirtz (External), Beata (External), Susan Christy (External), William Kingsbury (External)