Friendship
Gae will present this topic on Friday 24 June
Introduction
Since friendship is something we can all talk about with authority, I don’t think there’s much need for a lot of research/reading. But I’ve gathered a few things.
Resources
General
The Wikipedia article provides an easy-to-read, general overview:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship
The Stanford encyclopaedia of philosophy article is much more academic, doing a survey of the literature and using words like “fungibility” and “teleological” (give it a miss if you like):
http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/friendship/
This is a book review which sets out some concepts about friendship quite nicely:
https://www.brainpickings.org/2013/09/19/aristotle-friendship/
How many friends can you have?
I’m also sending a New Yorker article (by Maria Konnikova) which discusses the research and findings around how many friends people tend to have, at different ‘levels’ of friendship. It also discusses the impact of social media on friendship and friend numbers.
http://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/social-media-affect-math-dunbar-number-friendships
Articles about choosing friends
This one discusses the advantages of (certain types of) friends:
This one suggests a more self-serving approach to choosing friends:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stacia-pierce/11-secrets-to-choosing-th_b_6038658.html
And lastly, an article that brings sex and love into it too (I found this one a little esoteric):
http://www.themontrealreview.com/2009/The-Stoics-and-the-Epicureans-on-Friendship-Sex-and-Love.php
Questions for discussion
What is the role of friends in our lives?
Could you enjoy life without friends?
Do we choose our friends, or do they just happen?
What would be your criteria for choosing a friend? (Do your actual friends match with these criteria?)
Do you tend to choose friends who are similar to you, or similar to each other?
If you think about your current friends, where did you meet them? What are the patterns?
What defines a ‘true friend’? (e,g, the ‘they’ll come around at 2am if you need them’ test)
How many friends can you have? In total? Close friends?
Can you see any advantages to NOT having friends, or having fewer friends?
Can you be close friends with people who are much older or younger than you? (What about richer/poorer? More/less intelligent? Same religious beliefs or not?)
Can men and women really be friends?
Are male friendships different from female friendships? (How?)
Are old friends different from new friends? (How?) Do you think it’s important to have friends from a long time ago as well as newer friends?
What’s the difference between relationships with friends and with family?
Is friendship/the role of friends different when you don’t have family nearby?
What happens if your spouse doesn’t like your friend(s), or vice versa? (Or, if you met your friends through your children, maybe your children aren’t friends with theirs any more!)
How actively do you ‘cultivate’ (or nurture) friendships? Does this need to be reciprocal?
How important is it to see friends regularly? Can you sustain a friendship without regular contact?
Is it harder to make friends as you get older?
If you’re on Facebook (or other social media), what role does it play in your friendships?
Do you have example(s) of support provided by friends that stand out in your memory?
Have you had a major falling out with a friend that you’d be prepared to talk about? Why/how did it happen?