At school, I'm greeted by the teacher
Mr. Baldimore, who loves to teach us nothing but math
Me, I suck at the intermediate kind, like every 3rd problem that's shown on the You Can Think Pad
I have to do my absolute best to solve this problem
No excuses or whatever, just keep on thinking of an answer until I have migraine
But once someone's answered wrong, they're spanked with Mr. Baldimore's ruler, which hurts so bad
Are excuses a way out of math? Does anyone know?
"Mr. Baldimore, I cannot read!" "Mr. Baldimore, I still be in pre-school..."
I think these excuses are only to be believed if I'd dress childish as heck
Might as well convince my classmates to also dress childish, and plot our behaviour
So we can be believed, and we can learn colours and shapes, rather than 'expert' math
During recess, I asked my class to come together, to plot my plan, and wait for no single sec
The subsequent day, the bus comes to pick me and my classmates up
Dressed the way we planned: in ribbons, bows, striped shirts, even knee-height socks
Even discussing the most childish topics on our way to the Here School
The bully was speechless upon seeing us, even forgetting to block our path, as he usually did
Playtime was only glad to see us like this, wanting to play jump-rope with every single one of us
My friend, that surely is a wonderful idea to keep it all cool
Mr. Baldimore and the principal of the thing couldn't believe their own eyes on what they just saw
Us, a bunch of 6th graders dressed as pre-schoolers, jumping rope, giggling and cheering
And guess what, the principal really insisted on sending us back to the pre-school class, finally
First, we had to experience something that one half of us didn't really approve of
The principal peeked under our skirts or shorts, to see if we had no accidents or whatever
Something normal and common for real pre-schoolers, but to us, it felt like total irony
It was a good thing that the other half of us (and I) planned to go padded, if you know what I mean
So we didn't have to plan our bathroom breaks, we'd just ask the principal for a change
But seriously, the courses we got during our first day of pre-school in ages were enjoyable again
No more maths, no more difficult reading courses, just colours and shapes, we were all delighted
Mr. Baldimore, on the other hand, glared at us through the window, probably jealous as he could be
"No glaring through windows in the halls" was what the principal said, with a tone of disdain
And this is how we spend the subsequent days of school back in pre-school, y'all
We enjoy, approve, and the best of all are no more maths, and just pretending we're really small.
-"Masada", 2/4/'19. For (and from the POV of) a relative of mine, who's the one behind this rather peculiar (and thus rated T) but interesting plot twist of Baldi's Basics.