Banjo Kazooie

Basic Info:

Platform(s): Nintendo 64 / Xbox 360 Released: 6/30/1998 ESRB Rating: E Get this Game

Story:

At last, the dirty green and blue smog was beginning to clear. Gruntilda stood at the topmost window of her Lair, grinning wickedly down on her newly discovered world like a thundercloud before a storm.

"Tiny creatures far below," she cackled, "which of you'll be first to go?"

The witch rubbed her hands in glee at the prospect of becoming even more lovely than she already was. Landing somewhere new was always exciting – and judging by all the puffing and clanking coming from the next room, it seemed as if her greatest invention felt the same way. And what an invention! A machine that could suck out the physical beauty from its victims, ready for Grunty to absorb like a sponge!

She rubbed the graceful curve of her chin with pride. Nobody else would even have dreamed of creating such a marvellous thing, she thought. Least of all her pretty sister, Brentilda. How dare that interfering do-gooder inherit the family good looks? How dare she be born with a face so angelic when Gruntilda had always been... well... slightly disadvantaged in that department?

But thanks to her mechanical pride and joy in the next room, Gruntilda knew that all that would soon change. At last she could become beautiful beyond her wildest dreams!

Picking her nose in a particularly smug manner, the witch turned her attention away from the window to the bubbling cauldron nearby, and began to cast the truth spell – a spell which, she thought, would confirm her place as the most wonderfully attractive creature in the land...

Meanwhile, Tooty skipped home through the fields of Spiral Mountain, having spent a carefree couple of hours piping tunes for the forest animals. Now it was time for another weary attempt at rousing her bed-bound brother.

Just as the cosy house that she shared with Banjo and Kazooie came into view up ahead, Tooty slowed down to watch a nearby molehill tremble, splutter and sprout a pair of blurry eyes that could only belong to her good friend Bottles.

"Morning, Tooty," he blinked as his round body came out of the hole with a pop. "And what are your plans for the day?"

Tooty bounced on the spot as his words reminded her of Banjo's promise. "Oh! I'm going to get my lazy brother out of bed, and we're going on an adventure..."

Bottles smiled absent-mindedly. "That'll be nice," he said, then squinted up into the sky over her shoulder. "Hey, isn't that your brother up there?"

Tooty turned to look, and saw an odd shape swooping down towards them at high speed. "No, I don't think that's Banjo," she said, frowning. "I wonder who it could be..."

Sweeter than me? Prettier than me? Impossible!

Gruntilda was so furious that she wasn't concentrating on flying her broomstick, and had to pull up sharply as her boots clipped the top of a fence. This just made her even angrier, and she found herself screeching abuse at thin air.

"As cute as me, you stupid pot? For her own sake, I hope she's not!" The witch zoomed recklessly on through the skies until her intended target came into view: the unnecessarily cute young bear staring up at her from the field far below.

Gruntilda snorted. "I need those looks far more than she, and finally perfect I shall be!" With a loud scream and a cackle, the witch took aim and sent the broomstick into a dive.

Kazooie popped out of the backpack in alarm as noise erupted just outside the window. "Banjo! Banjo!" she squawked, recognising two of the three yelling voices as those of Tooty and Bottles. "Hey, wake up!"

The Honey Bear groaned and pulled the pillow over his head. "Aww, leave me alone, Kazooie, it's too early," came his muffled voice.

"This is no time to be lazy!" trilled the Breegull, her anxious fidgeting causing the backpack to swing to and fro on the hatstand. "We've got trouble! Pull yourself together!"

Banjo groaned again, rolled over, and was about to say something else when Kazooie's struggles proved too much for the supporting stand, toppling it onto the floor with a crash and an undignified squawk.

The Honey Bear jumped out of bed in surprise – just as the curtains flapped open in the backdraft from something launching itself at high speed from his front lawn. And beneath the manic cackling that reached him on the wind came the helpless cries of a voice he recognised... Tooty's!

Banjo gulped and searched the room for his feathered friend, realising that this was definitely going to be one of those days.

"Uh, Kazooie, what are you doing down there?" he said in confusion, snatching up the backpack as he bolted for the door. "This is no time to be lazy – we've got trouble!"

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