Rome's Last Hurrah
In ancient Rome, tensions were high as prayers to the Roman Gods seemed to be failing. People starved, conflict brewed, and the Germanic tribes put the empire under siege. One day, a cunning and charismatic man founded a heretical cult. Each day this man would proselytize about his cult, claiming that he discovered a ritual that the gods would heed. When there seemed to be enough food to eat, peace on the streets, and a rally on the front of war, his following surged. Every Sunday, his congregation assembled in the Forum to perform the rite. One by one they lit their trousers aflame, dancing whilst chanting to their individualized tutelary Roman house gods. But not two weeks after the popularization of this man and his ritual, Rome fell. The surviving Romans executed him in the street. They lit his trousers aflame in defiance and shouted blasphemy at the man who had colluded with the devil to deceive them and cause their downfall.
His name was forever immortalized: the pariah Lars-Lars Pants-Onfars.