Lesson 4: Communication & Relationships

RELATIONSHIPS

Human beings are social; we need relationships in our lives. For teenagers, good friends can be like a personal support group. Friends and friendships give teenagers:

• a sense of belonging, a feeling of being valued and help with developing confidence

• the sense of security and comfort that comes from being with others going through similar experiences

• information about the changes that puberty brings, and what’s going on physically and emotionally

• a way to experiment with different values, roles, identities and ideas

• experience in getting along with people of the opposite sex

• a chance to experience early romantic and sexual relationships

• a social group to do new things with, especially things that are different from what families do.

Positive friendships are an important part of the journey to adulthood. Teenagers need to learn important social and emotional skills, like being sensitive to other people’s thoughts, feelings and wellbeing.

COMMUNICATION

Have you ever found yourself feeling hurt, disappointed, or angry with a friend, and not wanting to talk to your ffirend about it because you are fearful that saying how you feel would just make things worse? So, you decide to stuff your feelings down and not have a conversation about how you feel. There are lots of things that can go wrong with a relationship when we are not communicating properly.

Types of Communication

Passive

A passive person often stuffs their emotions instead of expressing them. It feels easier to just sit on your emotions and not say anything rather than speak up and risk having the other person feel negative toward you. Many people fear conflict and do not want to lose the relationship. Being passive results in others hurting you and shows a lack of respect for your own needs and over times will have a negative impact on you and on your relationships.

Aggressive

An aggressive person expresses themself in a dominating and controlling way--they may yell, swear, throw things, and threaten. They are concerned with getting their own way. They are direct but in a forceful and demanding way. Other people may feel resentful, hurt and even afraid of you. Being aggressive makes it more likely you will lose relationships that are important to you, others usually won't put up with being disrespected and mistreated for very long.

Passive-Aggressive

A passive-aggressive person do not express themselves directly; they express their emotions in more subtle ways: using sarcasm, giving others the silent treatment or slamming books on desks. Passive-aggressive people get their message across without actually saying words but may still damage their friendships. They tend to be indirect and unclear with messages---say one thing but send contradictory message. For example; If your friends don't choose the movie you wanted to see, you tell them it doesn't matter, but you stay quiet for the rest of the night because you are angry about the choice.

Assertive

An assertive person has the healthiest form of communication. They express their thoughts, feeling and opinions in a clear, honest and appropriate way. They are respectful toward the other person as well as toward themself. Assertiveness also means listening so everyone feels respected and valued. When you have good self-esteem, you recognize your right to express your beliefs and feelings. Being assertive will also improve your interactions with others.

Lesson Part 1: What's Your Communication Style?

Material

• What's Your Communication Style Worksheet

How?

Before someone can change a pattern, they first must be aware of it. This worksheet will help students understand they way they communicate so they can work towards being Assertive.

1. Share the Examples of Commuincation Style video

2. Help read through the worksheet. Instructions are on the top of the sheet.

3. Brainstorm ways to work towards an assertive style of communication.

Lesson Part 2: Telephone Game

This activity shows how communication can go wrong. Is a fun introduction and icebreaker to break up the days lesson.

How?

Students gather together in a circle. The teacher will whisper one short topic, sentence, or phrase into the ear of the student next to them. This phrase will be whispered into the ear of each student around the circle until arriving back at the teacher, who will then compare the original sentence to the one that it became.

IMPROVING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships are a big part of our lives and they can affect our moods. When things are going well we feel happier; when things aren't so great, they can bring us down. Everybody needs to have friends, family , people who support them and care about them, people we can socialize with and do activities together. These types of relationships help us to be emotionally healthy, though we also must remember relationships can also get quite complicated.

Relationships are incredibly important in our lives. Without them, we feel alone and isolated; we have no one to share our pain or our success with and this can lead to intense feelings of sadness and loneliness.

Lesson Part 3: Thinking About Your Relationships

Material

• Thinking About Your Relationships Worksheet

How?

This exercise will help students identify the key relationships in their lives and perhaps areas where they need build out more capacity. This is a useful tool for teachers to store and talk through with parents, EA's, and LIST Teachers.

NOTE: this is a confidential piece of work. Please let students know it is only between you and the classroom teacher. They need to feel safe talking about relationships.