I felt the bed shift, the weight that was once next to me was no longer there. “This is my chance. I have to leave. Just get up and run towards that door,“ I sighed happily after seeing the door on the left side of the room. The side I couldn’t see before. I got up and ran to the door. The door is a metal door, no design just a plain full metal door. As soon as I reached the door, I came to the realization that there is no door knob. It is as if this ‘door’ was a piece of metal that was put in place to try and cover a previous hole, and the hole they were trying to cover was a door.

“Why’d you do that?”

I looked back and my heart shattered. I saw the last person I ever wanted to see. Levi Andrew, once my lover, now just a painful memory. A man who not only mentally hurt me, he physically hurt me. He is getting up from the floor, brown eyes looking straight into my soul. I feel a shiver down my spine.

“I asked you a question, sweetheart,” He spat venom clear in his words.

Finally off the ground he started walking towards me. A sick smirk plastered on his face. With every step forward he takes, I take one back. Soon I felt something cold touch my back, it was the wall. He stopped inches away from me, the black bangs that were covering his forehead touched my head. His figure towering over me, broad shoulders the only thing in my eye sight.

“Get away from me,” I responded, proud of myself for not stuttering but embarrassed at how it sounded like a mere whisper.

He chuckled and reached his hand to touch my chin. I managed to move my head to the right. He reached again but this time he forcefully grabbed my chin and made me look at him. I struggled in his grip trying to move my head but to no use. I am too weak. I can’t even fight back with my hands because they do no damage.

“Still as beautiful as ever I see,” Levi evilly smirked.

“Still an asshole I see,” I spat back, now getting annoyed by him.

He seemed to sense the change in attitude because his smirk is replaced by his poker face.

“Watch who you’re talking to. I’m sure you don't wanna repeat the same mistake, Lana.”

“Don’t call me that!”

“But it’s your name,”

“I don’t care. Call me Ms. Perez. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Why not Mrs. Andrew, it fit you一”

“Get that smirk off your face,” I harshly interrupted him, “You are nothing to me, nothing. What we had was and still is a mistake and something I will always regret. I was blinded by what used to be loved, that will not happen again. I’m not the same girl you knew.”

I got out of his grip and walked towards the night stand. I opened the drawer and took out the small mirror that was inside. I looked at myself, I let out a sigh after having enough of my horrendous face. While looking at all the details of my face, I failed to notice Levi turning around and speeding towards me. Extremely angry.

I turned around after hearing his heavy footsteps, to be met with a powerful slap to my face. I stumbled backwards and grabbed the left side of my face. The mirror that was once in my hands, now lies on the floor broken into small pieces. My face hurts so much, that slap could compare to having a hot pan burning your cheek.

“What the hell!” I yelled loudly, something I would come to regret later.

“Don’t raise your voice at me!” Levi cried, the sound of his voice bouncing off the walls and into my ear drums.

Levi slapped me again, even harder this time. He continued to slap my face while I raised my hands to try and shield my face from the forceful hits. I am now crouched down on the floor while he kicks me. Levi wasn’t trying to bend down so he started to kick me. I am holding my stomach trying to ease the pain and shield it, just like I did with my face. I feel weak.

“Please, please jus- just stop.” I pleaded, unable to tolerate the pain any longer. Tears are streaming down my swollen red face. I am sure a few of my ribs are broken.

He stopped and looked at me. “What a disgrace you are. First you say what we had was a mistake. Not only that but that you regret it. Do you know how much trouble you caused me for you to be saying those things to me? To me! I had to put up with your ugly face every morning. Your fat body too, do you know how fat you are? Cuz if you don’t I’ll gladly tell you. You are fatter than a whale. In fact I think they are your real family. What was I even saying before? Ugh. You see what you do. Your so stupid, it rubs off on me.”

His words hurt me deeply. I am sobbing. Fat tears rolling down my face, snot leaving my nose, and I just scream. I felt powerless, nothing I do will ever be enough. I am not enough, never was and never will be. My stomach aches, my face burns and my heart is shattered. Even after I said what we had was a mistake and I regret, I still love him and that is what's killing me the most. That is the reason we are here right now. I was so weak I decided to run from the problem then to face it.

You see I know exactly where I am, and why I am here. I am in the afterlife. My grandma once told me about the afterlife. I remember her words clearly,

“The afterlife is a place you are taken when you are not entirely done with your life. There are still things you have to move on from. How exactly the afterlife looks is a mystery, but one thing is for sure; whatever resided in the afterlife is what is keeping you from either moving on to a better place or going back to life.”

So Levi Andrew is keeping me here. The person stopping me from finally being able to escape my suffering. The suffering that was caused by him. I can’t hold it in anymore, I can’t do it.

“Why?” I questioned, finally unable to keep my emotions to myself.

“What? Shut your mouth. Don’t talk again. I don’t want to hear from you. And you better stop all that crying.” He replied, towering over me. He is looking at me with no emotion in his eyes. Levi looks at me one last time before chuckling and turning around to walk back. He stopped after hearing my words.

“No. Not again. I will not let you abuse me again! Why do you do this? If you really had to put up with everything you said you would’ve left me! I- it would’ve been better if you left! The only thing you caused me was pain! Nothing good came out of being with you!” I cried, the sadness and pain I felt was noticeable in my voice.

I look up to see Levi with widened eyes. He seemed smaller. But I didn’t care, I continued with my harsh words.

“You’re an asshole. How can you say you love me, then rape and beat me everyday! If anything you caused me the trouble! I had to deal with depression, many bruises and my self esteem plummeting to the ground. The self love I once had is no longer there because of you. You make me doubt every single part of who I am. My weight, height, skin color, face, hair and even clothes I wear were always judged by you, this made me so, so subconses. I couldn’t do shit because of your constant criticism. You made me change myself to fit your ‘ideal girlfriend’. And I’m done. Tired of it all. You couldn’t even let me die in peace, you had to follow me. Like, leave me alone! You’ve hurt me enough. Leave me alone. Please. I will not let you hurt me again. I’m not the same weak girl you once knew. I will not let you manipulate me again.”

I finally stood up from the ground grabbing a piece of the broken glass from the mirror that broke. I looked at him, he seemed to be deep in his thoughts. I stood for a minute, observing myself in the small piece of glass. I looked at my hazel eyes, puffy from all of the crying. The slightly tan skin on my face is red and swollen. My long brown hair is a mess, hair sticking out of the ponytail it was in. Thick and dark eyebrows furrowed, pink lips stuck together forming a straight line.

“I should kill you, right?” I asked, eyes still fixed on the small piece of glass in my hands.

“Wh- what” He stuttered, eyes shooting up to look at me.

“I really should” With every word I took a step forward. Levi stayed frozen in place, mouth agape. I can see he is trying to say something, but words don’t seem to be leaving his mouth.

This time I am the one that is inches away from him, towering over him. He is smaller, weaker and paler than usual.

“I should kill you, but I’m not like that. I am not like you. Killing you is worthless, it’ll just prove that you succeeded in breaking me. I don’t care that your father abused you and your mother, you should’ve used that as inspiration to not do it. You could’ve been someone so much better. Instead you decided to become like your father. You abused me to the point where you actually broke me, you made me feel so pathetic and useless that I thought the only way out was to cut my life short. But it didn’t do anything, I ended up seeing you here again. I realized I wasn’t thinking straight. I should’ve confronted you from the beginning, even if I was afraid. I’m afraid right now, but I refuse to let fear take over me again. I wasn’t able to do this before, but I’ll do it now. Levi Andrew, what we had is over. I am over you, you are my past. You are a lesson that I have now learned. It pains me to say this but, goodbye Levi.”

I finished speaking and I saw Levi slowly disappearing. The only thing visible was his face. He had a smile on his face, teary eyes looking at me. I could see regret in his eyes.

“Goodbye Lana, I’m sorry.” Is the last thing he said before he was completely gone. Tears leaving his smiling face. I closed my eyes while I let my own tears leave my eyes.

When I opened my eyes I noticed I’m not in that room anymore. I am in a white room, laying down on a bed while I had an IV stuck in my arms. That's when I knew I was in the hospital. The room was plain white, no wall decorations, nothing. Just a simple seat on the left side of me that was occupied by someone.

“He- hello?” I questioned, voice gorse from the lack of water.

“Lana? Lana! Oh my gosh, you’re awake,” A lady said.

She looked like she was in her late 50s. Short hair covering her face, making it more difficult to identify the person. Her soft and slightly wrinkled hands reached to move her hair out of her face. That’s when I saw my grandma. Tears welled up in my eyes. I can’t believe it. It’s actually her.

“I’m alive!” I sighed in relief. The tears finally left my eyes. I regretted trying to take my life. It is not the answer. There are other ways to deal with my problems, trying to run from them is not the answer.

“Yes! Yes baby, you’re alive. You are still here, you are so strong. You haven’t given up on life, you fought to be back. I’m so proud of you. Don’t worry, love. I’m here, you are not alone.”

“Thank you grandma,” I cried out, warm tears leaving my eyes.

These tears aren’t sad tears, they are happy tears. I am so happy I’m alive and out of that abusive relationship.

A nurse soon walked in. She checked on me and another patient that was in the room. While looking at the patient the nurse looked sad.

“Are you ok ma’am?” I asked her.

“I’m ok,” the nurse smiled at me, “I guess he stopped fighting.”

I gave her a confused look as a reply. She looked at me then continued, “He’s no longer with us. That man was strong at first, very strong. In fact he’s here for the same reason as you. He tried to commit suicide after seeing his lover in the middle of his room with a rope around her neck. A strong person he was,” looking at the patient the nurse said, “Levi, I hope whoever you did this for is alive and well. I hope she knows you love her a lot.” She finished her sentence while making eye contact with me.

Shocked is what I am. I don’t know what to think. Should I be mad? Am I supposed to be happy? Nothing can be heard from me. I look at the patient and see him. There he is with his eyes closed, a peaceful look on his face.

The room is silent after the nurse finishes talking. My grandma is looking at me worried. The nurse gives me a knowing look, as if she knows I am his lover. As if the words she said were said just because I am here.

“Uh yes. I’m sure she knows he loves her. Thank you for checking up on me, if you don’t mind I’ll be taking my leave soon. Thank you,” I tell the nurse, finally deciding to break the silence in the room.

She just nods and heads towards the door. Grandma just looks at me with saddened eyes and starts packing up for us to leave. I look at the bed on my right one last time before getting up.

A thought crossed my mind and everything made sense now. Levi was getting smaller and clearer because he was dying.

THE END