Talking about personal safety with your child can be perceived as difficult for many parents. As parents and caregivers of children, there are a number of key steps we can take to build resilience and protect our kids against sexual harm and exploitation.

Tips for keeping your kids safe:

TEACH THEM EARLY ABOUT PERSONAL SAFETY

It’s never too early to sow the seeds of personal safety. As parents, you need to teach your children 5 basic principles (which form the basis of our personal safety education program for young children.)

These principles are:

1. To trust their feelings and to distinguish between ‘yes’ and ‘no’ feelings

2. To say ‘no’ to adults if they feel unsafe and unsure

3. That they own their own bodies

4. That nothing is so yucky that they can’t tell someone about it

5. That if they feel unsafe or unsure to run and tell someone they trust.

TALK TO YOUR KIDS

Encourage your children to feel comfortable telling you anything, especially if it involves another adult. Encourage your children to identify other trusted adults they can talk to in confidence.

BE AWARE

Learn about the people with whom your child is spending time. Take notice if someone shows one or all of your children a great deal of attention or begins giving them gifts. Take time to talk to your children, find out why the person is acting in this way.

EMPOWER YOUR KIDS

Knowledge is power. Teach your children about their bodies. Teach them the correct language to use when describing their private parts. Emphasize that those parts are private. This will make them more at ease if they need to tell you about a touch that made them feel uncomfortable. Additionally, if a child uses a word like ‘garage’ or ‘golf stick’ to describe their private parts, a disclosure might be missed.

GET INVOLVED

Be an active participant with your children’s activities, you will have a better opportunity to observe how the adults in charge interact with your children. If you are concerned about anyone’s behavior, take it up with the sponsoring organization.

TEACH THEM THEIR RIGHTS

Teach your kids that they have the right to say NO to any unwelcome, uncomfortable, or confusing touch or actions by others. Teach them to tell you immediately if this happens. Reassure them that you are there to help and it is okay to tell you anything.

NOTICE CHANGES IN BEHAVIOR

Be sensitive to any changes in your children’s behavior or attitude. Encourage open communication and learn how to be an active listener. Look and listen to small indications that something may be troubling your children because children are not always comfortable disclosing disturbing events or feelings. This may be because they are concerned about your reaction to their problems. If your children do confide problems to you, strive to remain calm, non-critical, and non-judgmental. Listen compassionately to their concern and work with them to get the help they need to resolve the problem.

PRACTICE SAFETY SKILLS

Practice basic safety skills with your children. Make an outing to a mall or a park a ‘teachable’ experience in which your children can practice checking with you before going to the restroom with a friend, and locating the adults who can help if they need assistance.

CYBER-SAFETY IS IMPORTANT TOO

Teach your child never to give out their last name, address, or phone number to a person on the Internet and never to meet Internet friends in person without a parent’s supervision and consent. Parents should help children choose a screen name that does not disclose information about their location. Teach children not to post pictures with identifying information such as a school uniform. Always keep your computer in a public area of your house – not in a child’s bedroom. (Brave Hearts)

• How to Teach Your Child About Personal Safety

• Personal Safety Tips for Parents

• Teaching Kids to Be Safe Without Making Them Scared

• How to Talk to Young Children About Body Safety

• 10 Ways To Talk To Your Kids About Body Safety And Consent

• Kidpower- People Safety

• Hot Chocolate Talk - sexual abuse prevention

• My Body Belongs to Me By: Jill Starishevsky

• Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept By: Jayneen Sanders

• ABC of Body Safety and Consent By: Jayneen Sanders

• My Body! What I Say Goes! By: Jayneen Sanders

• Let's Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent, & Respect By: Jayneen Sanders

• No Means No! By: Jayneen Sanders

• I Said No!: A Kid-to-Kid Guide to Keeping Private Parts Private By: Zack and Kimberly King

• My Body Belongs to Me: From My Head to My Toes By: Pro Familia

• No More Secrets for Me By: Oralee Wachter

• Not in Room 204 By: Shannon Riggs

How to talk to your child about School Shootings

If your child has heard, wants to know what happened, or is worried something like this is going to happen at his or her school, Kazdin says to respond honestly but cryptically. Use simple, declarative, age-appropriate sentences, like “Someone came into a school and hurt some children. We don’t know why.” Then you can comfort your children by saying their school is safe, and that you’re confident their school is one of the safest places they can be. Let’s say your child follows up with, “But how do you know?” Kazdin says to reply, “Because nothing like this ever happened at your school.

Coping with a School Shooting - Article with several articles embedded related to trauma, coping skills, violence etc.

Explaining the News to Our Kids - Age based tips responding to what we see on the news