In-person meetings

• Put out chairs

• Put up any signs (e.g. posters or A-Frames) or pull up banners to show where the meeting is

• Get the kettle, cups and tea/coffee out and ready

• Get ready with the welcome statement, rock and any snacks

• Check you know the sign in code for your meeting

• If a female turns up to a DIDs meeting (or the reverse)

  • We ask the other attendee's privately if they're ok with a female joining them before we let the female come into the room - she should wait outside whilst you are consulting the male attendee's. 

  • Prepare the female that she may not be able to join the meeting if others are not comfortable with it and that we must respect that some attendee's may feel traumatised by the opposite sex. Also, that this rule applies equally to MIDs and DIDs meetings.

Online meetings

• Get Telegram 'sign in' channel ready to view

  • Check you know the sign in code for your meeting

  • Do NOT let attendee's out of the waiting room until you see their sign in

• Have backup internet line (e.g. tethering) or a second 'host' in case your line goes down

•  Welcome any new dads and assure them by

  • Explaining this is a confidential meeting and they are safe to speak freely

  • They do not need to speak and that they can just listen

  • That you will invite them to speak if they'd like but only after others

  • That we are non political, religious, ideological; we're just dads looking after dads

  • Give them a quick overview of the steps: Intro > Welcome > Sharing > Break > Campfire

Confirm to all that:

• Meeting is confidential and that there is to be no recording of any kind

• Please place mobiles on silent or switch them off - be present for those speaking

• There is an expectation that attendees arrive on time to avoid delay or interruptions

• They should sign in at www.pbb.family (or use QR code) with the groups unique three digit code

[Anyone can read]

Welcome to our peer support meeting, a space to connect, share, and build hope together. 

Please join us in making this a valued part of our lives. It has a different purpose to the rest of our lives. 

Here, we listen deeply, speak from personal experience, and respect each other’s privacy and confidentiality.

We show up on time, present, and sober.

We do not interrupt, advise, or fix anyone because we trust that each of us is, or will be, okay. 

Please give a thumbs up now, if you agree.

We’ll start by observing a minute of silence for the empty chair, honouring those that are not here;

• Because they do not know we exist, 

• Because they feel unable to reach out or no longer need us

• Or, because they are no longer with us. 

• It is also an invitation for new members to join us. 

The one minute starts now. 

[Only Facilitator reads]

Thank you. Let’s start our check-in circle now. 

Whoever holds the rock has the floor. 

I will invite each member of the group to share, offering you the rock. 

When you are done, pass the rock back to me and we will pause briefly between check-ins so that we can reflect on what has just been shared, before inviting our next check in.

If more 2 facilitators and more than 10 participants, you might consider splitting into “breakout rooms”

The facilitator (or named attendee) will hand out the ‘virtual’ rock to signify who shares, one at a time.

Sharing is optional. If you’d rather not share, just say that when invited.

Allow the person sharing to do so uninterrupted; remain silent (muted) until it is your turn to share.

We have a respectful pause between sharers to consider what they said. Thumbs up to thank the sharer.

If you are a regular, maybe focus on what is happened for you since the last meeting.

If it’s your first time, feel free to share as long as you need and start with your name, kids names and ages.

10 minute break

Serves to:

• Allow the shift from heart to head space

• Attendee's to connect with each other

• Grab a cuppa, smoke or visit the loo!

Switch off cameras and mute yourself during the break

Use the time to think of questions / subjects for the 2nd half, and add them to the chat box

OPTIONAL - can bypass if you would rather just go straight into the campfire section

Typically, read by an attendee

“We have arrived at the 2nd Part of the meeting. Experience shows that the best outcomes are gained by having a positive focus, rather than negative collusive energy between attendees. 

Recognising  that the only thing I have control over is myself; not the system, nor past relationships, my children, nor even past behaviours – only my actions into the future, the second part of the meeting is for us to respectfully share relevant experiences to help each other move forward. 

We are not here to teach or advise, but to offer alternatives, to share wisdom, not anger. To keep ourselves level we watch the language we use, and build on our strengths, not our problems.”

The second half of the meeting is psycho-educational meaning, we are here to learn something from each other or, very occasionally, a guest expert. 

The facilitator should prompt and guide a general conversation that is free flowing and goes where the room wishes it to; within reason. We are not here to collude and be negative but to build on our own and others strengths. A great campfire is one where the facilitator says almost nothing at all but those the room take and build the discussion.

Occasionally, it's ok to get a guest expert in to run a workshop. To protect our attendee's, these should be checked and confirmed with HQ to ensure there are no conflicts of interest.

Each take a turn sharing three pieces of information before nominating the next person to check out

1. One word (or very brief statement) how you felt coming into tonight’s meeting

2. One word (or very brief statement) how you feel now as the meeting comes to an end

3. One thing that you:

– Will take away with you that you have learned tonight, or

– Will focus on this coming week, ahead of the next meeting, or

– Are grateful for at this time.

Additional help:

• Telephone helpline on 1300 853 437 (daytimes, 7 days a week)

• Safe/free online forum at www.parentsbeyondbreakup.com/vv   (‘The Virtual Verandah’)

Other:

• Let others know that we’re here and that they can find safe/free support. 

• Feedback for head office - go to website under contact page

Facilitators:

• Meeting facilitators should take time to reflect on how they themselves are feeling

• Post a ‘debrief’ in the Telegram Debrief Room

• Be honest about how you are feeling. If you're feeling burned out or otherwise affected by the stories, reach out for assistance through your debrief or via helpline on  1300 853 437.