Sheila Hagee Gerlitski

Oh Sheila, what to say about you? She'd be pissed that I'm crying over her loss rather than going out and enjoying life to the fullest. We had a complicated friendship - both with stubborn personalities.  Co-worker, friend, mother figure. She had this natural magnetism about her that I couldn't help but share my insecurities and I wasn't afraid to say all the negative thoughts without fear of judgment. She had that southern hospitality about her - calling everyone "doll, sweet girl, handsome" - "well aren't you a tall drink of water" etc.

Sheila shared with me that one of her favorite movies (aside from Alien) was August : Osage County. She loved Meryl Streep and Margo Martindale. She thought the story was heart-wrenching and it showed just how life was - unfiltered and no fairytale happy endings. I think she appreciated the honesty it portrayed. If you find yourself inclined, it's on Netflix right now.

I loved that Sheila was unapologetically herself. She was a wild, hilarious, loud, ball of honesty. She was constantly talking about her kids and how proud of them she was. 

She got so much joy from seeing the innocent animals around her. In the last place she lived, she would go out and feed the chickens and their little chicks. She sent me a video of them pecking all around her feet. Such joy and happiness in those moments. When she lived in the RV outside the office, she would buy dried corn and fresh bananas to feed "her babies", the deer, every night. She would sit outside and talk to her babies after scattering corn around the yard, and enjoy the fireflies around them. This year she had a desk in the office with a big window. I put up a bird feeder and Sheila would watch this fat squirrel hang off it and steal all the seeds. She thought it was "the coolest thing ever".

She would sneak queso on small chips to our two office dogs, Duchess and Lady. She thought they were spoiled brats but also had a soft spot for them - just as she had for my black lab, Tink, previously. She would grab treats and go to the dog run out back and spoil the boys there also. She just had a loving, motherly heart.

I used to drive her up to the gas station (usually to buy cigarettes and maybe a snack) and one time she had a hankering for a pickle, so she bought one and we headed back. The next day we were working and she realized that she couldn't find her wallet anyway. Looked for it for days. I dug through our giant trash bin with her just in case also. We went back to see if it was left at the gas station - searched everywhere... days later she went to eat the pickle and found her wallet in the bag with the pickle in the fridge.

Speaking of food, she hated Arby's (one of my fav fast food places) and most places I suggested for lunch. So you can imagine that lunch runs during tax season were always a back and forth negotiation. When she found out she was terminal, she ordered a steak, potato, and rolls to be delivered from Texas Roadhouse for dinner. She was gonna enjoy what she could while she could. The next few days she had her classic order of a sausage mcmuffin, hashbrown, and iced vanilla latte from McDonalds for breakfast. I'll always remember her order. We used to like surprising each other with Cajun Coffee Shack randomly also - such a special treat. But she'd still get the same thing. Thought she got addicted go the apple cider k-cups we had in the office also.

She loved the goulash my grandma would make and bring over. My grandma even got her all the ingredients and told her how to make it. She repeatedly told me how sweet my grandma was and couldn't believe that someone could be so kind. Sheila always found the best in those who valued and respected her. One night, Sheila got it in her head that she wanted to show her appreciation and "prove she knew how to cook", so she made me and Camilo cajun shrimp alfredo with garlic bread - it was so good! We ate every bit! But she was also very self-critical and told me the next day that she didn't even eat any because it wasn't good enough. That's something we shared in common - low self-esteem at times.

She enjoyed talking to her best friend, Kevin, every day. She admired his perseverance and his love for his son. I appreciated seeing how relieving it was for her to get to vent to him and just be her authentic self, flaws and all! What a wonderful thing to have a friendship like that.

Every time I come across a funny cat/dog video, I have the urge to send it to her, as we did this all the time. She especially loved the ones where there were voiceovers. My closest connection to her is how she helped me through my mom's passing. Grief is such a hard thing to endure, and losing her brings back that flood of feelings after losing my own mom. I'm grateful to have gotten to know her so much more this past year.

Man, I miss her.

-Tabatha Suarez