Step 9: Edit and Revise

Step 9: Edit and Revise

Serious Errors that Will Affect Your Paper Grade

• Reporting instead of persuading
• Repeated use of first person or second person
• Many grammatical errors
• Thesis and main ideas in the paper do not match
• Breaking the path of documentation
  • Quotations not cited
  • Citations or Works Cited page entries missing information
  • Citations and Works Cited entries that do not match
  • Citations without a Works Cited entry
• No Introduction, refutation, or conclusion

Fixing “Be” Verbs

1. While it is rising in industrial countries…

While breast cancer continues to rise…

2. A good medicine that people tend to dismiss is therapy.

People tend to dismiss therapy as good medicine.

3. There are many people who would argue conventional food is just as good for the body as

organic food.

Many people would argue that conventional food provides just as much goodness for

the body as organic foods.

4. There once was a time when all food in the country was grown organically.

Many people would argue that conventional food provides just as much goodness for

the body as organic foods.

5. She is at battle with representatives from New London, Connecticut of the buying of her

home.

She stands at battle with representatives from New London, Connecticut over the

buying of her home.

6. There is a better alternative to this and that is the aspect of smart-growth, or high density

housing that lowers the overall dependence on individual mobility.

Smart growth, the high density housing that lowers the overall dependence on

individual mobility, exists as a better alternative to urban sprawl.

7. The fuels should be replaced by the drivers with an alternative energy source.

Drivers should replace the fuel in their vehicles with an alternative energy source.

Tips to Avoid “Be” Verbs

• Never start a sentence with “there is, are, was, were, have been, has been…” or “it is, was,

has been”. (see examples 3 and 6)

• If there is another verb in the sentence, rearrange the sentence to use that verb as the main

verb. (see examples 2 and 4)

• Replace the “be” verb with an appropriate action verb. (see examples 1 and 5)
• Always use active voice, never passive. (see example 7)

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Each paper will be graded according to the criteria set forth in the Senior Exit Paper rubric (an example of which is included later in this packet). This final copy is graded by Mrs. Duffy. This grade is part of each student’s Senior Exit Project class grade.

As noted earlier, the final score on the Senior Exit Paper will be factored into the final Senior Exit Project Class score for the second quarter, first semester grade. The stages and deadlines will form a portion of each student’s Senior Exit Project class grade this semester. The paper will require students to utilize rhetorical writing skills, such as process analysis, comparison and contrast, division and classification, extended definition, persuasion and argumentation, they have acquired in past experiences as Northwood High School students.