At times, life can feel overwhelming. This Virtual calming room is intended to help you learn coping skills and other strategies to help manage your emotions.

Explore and find what works best for you.

The STOP skill consists of the following sequence: Stop, Take a Step back, Observe, Proceed.

Stop When you feel that your emotions seem to be in control, stop! Don’t react. Don’t move a muscle. Just freeze (every muscle). Freezing for a moment helps prevent you from doing what your emotions want you to do (which is to act without thinking). Stay in control. Remember, you are the boss of your emotions. Name the emotion – put a label on it.

Take a step back When you are faced with a difficult situation, it may be hard to think about how to deal with it on the spot. Give yourself some time to calm down and think.  Take a step back from the situation. Get unstuck from what is going on. Take a deep breath and continue breathing deeply as long as you need and until you are back in control. Do not let your emotions control what you do. Its ok to take your time to decide how to respond.

Observe what is happening around you and within you, who is involved, and what are other people doing or saying. Listen to the Automatic Thoughts that occur…remember those are based on an outdated Belief System. To make effective choices, it is important not to jump to conclusions. Instead, gather the relevant facts so as to understand what is going on and what the available options are.

Proceed mindfully; ask yourself, “What do I want from this situation?” or “What are my goals?” or “What choice might make this situation better or worse?” or “What behavior will lead me to be successful?” Stay calm, stay in control, and when you have some information about the situation and how that may impact your goals, you will be better prepared to deal with the situation effectively. Remember your brain needs time to think all of this through.

Mental Exercises / Distraction Techniques

Use mental exercises to take your mind off uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. They are discreet and easy to use at nearly any time or place. Experiment to see which work best for you. 

• Name all the objects you see. 

• Describe the steps in performing an activity you know how to do well. For example, how to shoot a basketball, prepare your favorite meal, or tie a knot. 

• Count backwards from 100 by 7. 

• Pick up an object and describe it in detail. Describe its color, texture, size, weight, scent, and any other qualities you notice. 

• Spell your full name, and the names of three other people, backwards. 

• Name all your family members, their ages, and one of their favorite activities. 

• Read something backwards, letter-by-letter. Practice for at least a few minutes. 

• Think of an object and “draw” it in your mind, or in the air with your finger. Try drawing your home, a vehicle, or an animal. 

Mindfulness 

Disclaimer: The Calming Room links are purely for educational purposes and are not intended as psychological interventions or as a substitute for psychological treatment. If you are in need of psychological help you should seek the consultation of a licensed mental health professional.