Stressful events, personally, nationally, and globally can be difficult to talk about with our children. What should we say?  What shouldn't we say?  How much information is too much?  Not enough?  How do we even bring it up?

As a general guide, if we don't talk about/acknowledge events happening in our families, our communities and in the world around us, youth create their own, often incorrect narrative about what is happening.  While it can be difficult and emotional to discuss these topics, as their trusted adults,  it is important that we support our children by offering them the opportunity to ask questions, receive information, share their feelings, and accept comfort if needed.  

A good starting point can be to ask your child, "What do you know (or have you heard) about (the event)?"  Listen to their response and clarify any misconceptions they may have, based on the facts that you know to be true.

 Ask them if they have questions or something else they want to share about their reaction to the event.  If you don't have an answer or don't know the facts, it is always okay to say as much.  "What a great question!  I'm not sure if  there is  an  (or I don't know the) answer to that.  I'm going to see what I can find out."  

You know your child and are likely a good judge of how much information they need.  Some children want the bare facts and anything more will be emotionally  overwhelming for them.  Other children want more detail or will have a number of questions.  As the trusted adult, you can set the boundary if you can see that your child is becoming upset.  "It seems like that's probably as much information as we can handle right now.  Let's take a deep breath together and decide what we want to do next."  

Sometimes children will want to be comforted, sometimes they will want to do something concrete to help/remember/cope, sometimes they will want to forget all about it and move on to something else.  As the trusted adult, you can help guide your child to what will feel most supportive to them.  

Remember to take care of yourself during these conversations, too!  You can model self-care for your children by saying, "This is very sad for me too.  While it's important for us to be able to feel sad, I think  right now I'm ready to  (take a break/talk more about it/engage in another activity)."