Welcome to Derek's Petting Zoo – Where the Unimaginable Comes to Life

Step Right In… If You Dare.

At Derek's Petting Zoo, we specialize in exhibiting species and phenomena that the rest of the universe prefers to keep hidden. We're proud to showcase some of the most dangerous, bizarre, and unstudied creatures ever to exist – and trust us, these are not your typical zoo animals.

What You’ll Encounter:

• Creatures of Uncertain Origin: Some of them might even be friendly. Some might not. Who’s to say?

• Exotic Alien Technology: Devices that could revolutionize humanity… or possibly explode without warning.

• Uncharted Territory: We’ve got entire ecosystems from other planets, where the air could be toxic, the gravity might shift, and the ground... well, it’s best not to ask.

Visitor Experience:

• Close Encounters: Feeling brave? Explore the exhibits up close—just remember, some creatures prefer a little more personal space.

• Guided Tours (At Your Own Risk): Our guides are trained, mostly. They'll keep you safe unless the situation escalates.

• Intergalactic Artifacts: Touch them, study them, take a picture—but don't get too attached. Some of these objects have unpredictable effects.

WARNING:

• Bodily Harm: Visitors may experience unexpected injuries from encounters with alien species or environments.

• Psychological Effects: You might leave with more questions than answers. Or, less. We can’t be sure.

• Disappearing Acts: We can’t promise you’ll always make it back to Earth. But, hey, where's the adventure in staying safe?

Why Choose the Alien Zoo?

• Exclusivity: We’re one of the only places in the galaxy where you can witness what others only dare to theorize about.

• Adventurous Spirit: If you’ve ever wanted to see real extraterrestrial life—or become part of it—this is your chance.

• Risk and Reward: We can’t say you won’t get hurt, but where’s the fun in playing it safe?

The Fine Print (It’s Really Fine)

By entering the Alien Zoo, you acknowledge that everything is experimental. Our waiver isn’t just a formality—it’s a necessity. Seriously, read it (or don’t). Once you step inside, the zoo becomes your responsibility. We’re not liable for anything that happens here. Lost a limb? Sorry. Found yourself teleported to another dimension? Not our problem.

So, are you ready to step into the unknown? Come for the thrill, stay because… well, you might not have a choice.

Book Your Visit Now (or just show up and take your chances).
We’ll be waiting…