Reflect on how feedback from others can help us move through the self-regulated feedback cycle, if we can receive it effectively. Use these prompts (and concrete examples if possible) to guide your reflection:
While there might be feedback that we have to leave on the table, those who are in a position to give us feedback (an instructor, peer, or supervisor) usually have something constructive to offer. How do we not let the fear of receiving feedback or the sting of difficult feedback keep us from improving our work?
What strategies can you use to unpack feedback to gain more information about which parts of our plan are strong and which could benefit from revision?
A few years ago there was a a popular meme of "constructive criticism" and I used to laugh along with the relatable posts of running away from any criticism. Nonetheless, feedback is a great tool to improve quicker and better in whatever aspect of life. Whether the feedback is good or not, it's up to the receiver to interpret the information to their advantage. However, how does one do that?
Definitely it is not an easy thing to be vulnerable and let your hard work or skill be judged. I think a way that is best to battle the fear of difficult feedback is by first validating your results and efforts by yourself first.
Would it surprise you if I told you that I tried to join the varsity team of my older sister's high school at 12?
We both went to the same school, but it split into middle school campus and the high school campus. At this point, I did have a reason why I "needed" to join the team.
My older sister was a senior in high school, and I was in 6th grade. She was captain and I was someone who wanted to be a professional tennis player so I needed to join the team. Right?
Pushing my glasses up, and walking into the high school coach's office at 11 years old making my case that I am someone willing to train day and night if I just had the opportunity to train at least with the team. I was young, only having learned English for 3 years, and thought my tennis skills were okay enough to compete and train with Seniors. I needed to train then because tennis players at that age were so much better than me already and I needed to catch up. See how stressed I was even at that age? Always running after a better and proud future. Oh younger me, please stop!
The coach gave me the chance to see my skills, in the end, he deemed my tennis alright to train with the varsity team however, not be in the team.
"But Sydney is in the team and she is in my grade too," I said with shaky English.
"Yeah, but Sydney plays better than you."
Where does feedback come into play here? Well, the feedback the coach gave me was that I did not have the standard level needed yet to compete. It made sense. Sydney's father was a tennis coach. I had a wall and a racket too big for me.
At that age, lots of things were black and white. Either I was good or bad. My tennis career was over before it started just because I wasn't good enough. After sitting in the car for about five minutes in silence, while my mom and all my siblings were waiting for me to have a breakdown after the coach's decision, I finally relented. "It's okay, I just have to keep practicing. Mom, I'm joining the middle school soccer team." I knew I needed to get faster and have more coordination, fight my lack of stamina which years later I would find out its Asthma, and continue moving forward.
The coach's feedback wasn't a full box like I wanted. There wasn't much guidance on what to do next, how to improve, or encouragement. However, even at that age I recognized the life and privileges I had were different to others. I had to validate my efforts and courage first to not let the hurt sting as much.
The second step that I think could make difficult feedback not stop us from improving is having a growth mindset. By having a growth mindset and seeing our performances through other's perspective it can be really insightful and teach us a thing or two.
In my senior year, I had to write a thesis research paper that would determine if I graduated or not. I wrote it on English and Literature and the allegories of necropolitics (politics about who dies and who lives) found in historical USA events since 1963. My English professor, the best English professor I've ever had, was my advisor who was there to guide me and give me feedback in the process of my 4,000 word paper. His advice of always thinking about who my audience will be, the type of writing and vocabulary I should use, how specific I should go, really helped me with my paper and eventually in all my future works. Use critical thinking not only for the essay I write, but for everything I put my mind into.
Lastly, and most importantly, decide on how you will use the feedback. Will you let it make you not try again? Or will it fuel you with the urge to learn and develop?
It's hard to turn a difficult or bad situation into a positive one, but it's also important to not let the negative event define you or your craft. Self-regulate, activity listen, and keep moving forward!
Cheer on! Cheer on! For you are still trying your best.