You tell me I'm free.
Society teaches me how to be.
All the ways I can wear my hair,
Ten easy tips to disguise my despair.
Which colors bring out my eyes,
While what's truly hidden away,
Are all the lies.
The way I truly feel.
The aches I hide from wearing heels.
The bruises and stretch marks that are nothing to hide,
Yet I manage to conceal them time after time.
But no,
I’m free
Because you tell me I am.
Somehow I feel it's all in your plan.
Feel free to correct me,
On your ideas of greed.
From seeing me so “liberated”,
You get to see,
The side I hate,
But the view you need.
What am I to you?
If not a projection of your fantasies.
What am I to you,
If not your custom-made Barbie
Because you’re in control,
But I'm still free?
In your eyes you’re the savior
Who “rescues” me.
I'm the toy for your control
Yet you’ll make me believe,
That i'll never take a toll,
As long as you are with me.
And as you set me off
To be “great” in the world,
You’ll place me in the palms
Of more people like you.
The ones who’ll help shape me to “all I can be”,
But you’ll still be there
And say
“She got it from me”.
I'll see your reflection everywhere,
But when I see my own I won't be able to bear,
That everyday that I set out to become “free”
I lost the chance,
To become all I ever wanted to be.
I never liked the rain
The tiny tap of water of falling
Drip dripping down my window
The wet shoes that squeak in the hallways
The way it makes ME feel
Gloomy.
Sad.
Heavy.
I never knew why
Why I felt like this
Why I felt so different
Maybe it was the fear
The fear of being washed away
The fear of being taken
Maybe it was the puddles after the rainfall
The tiny mirrors left behind
Mirrors that show how insignificant you are
It made me feel small
Too small
Too small to look over towers of my fears
Too small to tell you how I feel
The droplets so clear
But it’s like a fun house mirror
When you look through it
One last time I say
Rain Rain Go Away
Just like that the sun peeks out
Ending my self deprecating torment
Soaking up all my doubt
Building ladders over my towers
Being my hammer
And breaking these natural mirrors