A once-familiar tradition that widely fell out of common practice during the 20th century, as more people died in hospital or care outside of the family home. In recent years, though, more and more people have been choosing, when they can, to die at home. Almost one in four people who die every year in England now do so in their own bed, according to the latest figures published by UK Health Security Agency.
The positive benefits to you of being with someone you care for in the familiarity of home for a few days can be immeasurable. When someone dies outside the home, e.g. in hospital, hospice or a care home, it is also worth thinking about the benefits of taking them home – for a few days or until their funeral. By simply sitting in privacy and comfort, perhaps with music or candles, you can gently begin to appreciate that their life, your life and your relationship has changed forever. Gathering with others or inviting visitors offers the opportunity for story-telling, sharing thoughts, laughter and tears: all important elements in the grieving process.
You can decide what you want to do yourselves and what help, if any, you want from a funeral director.
Steps to consider when arranging a home funeral:
Inform involved health professionals about your plans.They may be able to speed verification and certification of death to suit. A doctor may remove a pacemaker/ ICD if needed. Try to obtain information about any implants which may cause a concern for a cremation funeral. They may also be willing to give you continence and disposable bed pads and waterproof dressings and/or help with washing/ dressing if
you wish.
Caring for the deceased at home
Register the death
Buy a coffin or shroud
Book the crematorium or cemetery (and have the correct paperwork ready)
Organise suitable transport
Arrange the funeral service (and decide who will lead)
Organise the 'Celebration of Life,' 'Memorial Service' or gathering (if you’re having one)
You may choose to organise all or part of the funeral. You may call on a funeral director for certain services – such as looking after the person’s body in between their death and the funeral – or for help with funeral transport, or buying a coffin.
It is not recommended to keep the body at home for longer than one week. If you can arrange for the body to be kept in a mortuary until a day or two before the funeral, the staff may help you dress and place your loved one into the coffin. If your loved one had any cannulas or catheters, they may also be happy to remove these for you. If a cremation funeral is desired and the deceased has a pacemaker then this legally has to be removed before a cremation can take place, the mortuary staff can assist with this. A pacemaker can be removed postmortem at home by a doctor or community nurse.
If the death is referred to the coroner, you will be unable to care for your loved one at home.
Whatever your reason may be for arranging a DIY funeral, it should be given considerable thought. Some find it stressful and overwhelming to organise everything themselves, especially during an already difficult time. It helps to have plenty of support from family and friends – being able to call on someone for advice may be invaluable.
Before you choose to have a DIY funeral, be sure that you can handle the arrangements, both practically and emotionally. The following practical steps may prove extremely distressing for some people. Please take some time to reflect on your commitment of care before reading