Family members or close friends may choose to be involved in washing and dressing the body after death has occurred. Other people practice religions or belong to communities that view care of the body as a family responsibility. Their faith community, elders or neighbours provide guidance and support for hands-on care of the body. For some, this is a way of honouring the person – a final act of kindness to them.
The initial preparation of someone’s body takes about an hour and, if you have not done it before, a nurse or carer may be willing to assist you or do it for you if you prefer. Whether you participate in this or not, being with their body afterwards in a familiar place can be a special and valuable experience as you start to get used to the change in your relationship with an important person in your life. Being with someone’s body at home after their death often offers a gentle release, an easier adjustment and beautiful memories.
Lots of people worry about what physical changes might occur after someone dies. While this is a normal concern to have, as long as someone is kept cool, changes will usually happen much more slowly than people expect.
Once someone has died, their body will gradually cool to room temperature and their complexion will most likely change. Blood will go in the direction of gravity, which means their skin may be darker towards their back.There also may not be any changes at all. Everybody will naturally decompose over time. This can create an odour we are unaccustomed to but this would very rarely be a problem in less than a week, especially if you keep the room cool and place ice packs on and under the person’s body.
Washing and dressing the body is an act of intimacy and sign of respect. Those who were most involved in the person’s physical care may feel the most comfortable in doing this. Regardless of whether the person died at home or in hospital, hospice or nursing home, washing and positioning the body is best done where death occurs before stiffening of the body (rigour mortis) sets in. Rigour mortis happens within two to seven hours after death.
Regardless of the location of care, you will need a minimum of two people to help in gently moving and turning the body. If possible, position the person’s body on their back soon after death, as changing positions will become more difficult if more than an hour has gone by. Rigour mortis doesn’t affect everyone in the exact same way. The stiffness may not completely go away, and this can make it harder to move someone or lay them in a coffin or wrap in a shroud.
At home, you can wash the body in a regular bed. The body may release fluids or waste after death, place absorbent pads or towels under it. An adult sanitary nappy can be used as an alternative to cavity packing with cotton wool. It is important to take precautions to protect yourself from contact with the person’s blood and body fluids. While you are moving, repositioning and washing the body, wear disposable gloves and wash your hands thoroughly after care.
Washing the person’s body after death is much like giving the person a bath during his or her illness.
Wash the person’s face, gently closing the eyes before beginning, using the soft pad of your fingertip. If you close them and hold them closed for a few minutes following death, they may stay closed on their own. If they do not, close again and place a soft smooth cloth over them. Then place a small soft weight to keep the eyes in position. (To make a weight, fill a small plastic bag with dry uncooked rice, lentils, small beans or seeds). It may be that the eyes and mouth do not stay naturally fully closed. This is not a problem unless it is disturbing to someone, in which case a handkerchief or beautiful cloth can cover the face.
After you have washed the face, close the mouth before the body starts to stiffen. If the mouth will not stay shut, place a rolled-up towel or washcloth under the chin. If this does not provide enough support to keep the mouth closed, use a light-weight, smooth fabric scarf. Place the middle of the scarf at the top of the head, wrapping each end around the side of the face, under the chin and up to the top of the head where it can be gently tied. These supports will become unnecessary in a few hours and can be removed.
Wash the hair unless it has been washed recently. For a man, you might shave his face if that would be his normal practice. You can brush and blow dry someone’s hair or do their makeup in the same way you would if they were alive.
Clean the teeth and mouth. Do not remove dentures because you may have difficulty replacing them as the body stiffens.
Clean the body using a face cloth with water and a small amount of soap. Begin with the arms and legs and then move to the front and back of the trunk. You may need someone to help you roll the person to each side to wash the back. If you wish, you can add fragrant oil or flower petals to your rinse water. Dry the part of the body you are working on before moving to another. Some families or cultures may also choose to apply a special lotion, oil or fragrance to the person’s skin. If someone has a favourite moisturiser, it can also be a nice thing to use on their hands.
Dress or cover the body according to personal wishes or cultural practices. A shirt or a dress can be cut up the middle of the back from the bottom to just below but not through the neckline or collar. Place the arms into the sleeves first and then slip the neck opening over the head, tucking the sides under the body on each side. Roll a person gently in a way that a carer might if they were changing clothes.
Please note: Fluid can sometimes collect in the back of a person’s mouth. If this does happen, moving someone may cause it to come out, in which case you can clean it up with a dry cloth.
Position the arms alongside his or her body with the fingers straight. Be sure the legs are also straight. If the person is in a hospital bed with the head raised, lower the head of the bed to the flat position.
The most important thing is to keep them as cool and dry as possible. There are a number of ways to do this:
Turn off the heating of the room they’re in
Put freezer packs wrapped in a tea towel on their stomach
Turn a portable air conditioner fan on if you have one
Leaving the deceased in an unattended room
It is recommended to close all windows and keep nature out. It is best to keep someone’s face covered with a sheet or piece of cloth when you're not in the room for a long period of time. Overnight, you could lay a large bed sheet over their body, tucking it in under the edges of the mattress to keep them completely secure. If laying out into a coffin please remember to remove the head support before the lid is put back in place. The head support can be replaced for the next viewing period.
Please note: nature will take its course, even during a winter. It is recommended that you have discreetly to hand, insecticide spray, air freshener, wet wipes, a dry cloth or towel, hand sanitiser and disposable gloves. Please refer to our guide to a Home death kit.
It is advisable to always source help if you are considering to care for an obese person, someone with large wounds or weeping skin or someone who has had septicaemia while alive. You can move an average sized person around the house e.g. from a bed to a coffin with 6 able bodied people and a strong sheet or board. It may be possible to borrow a sliding sheet from nurses. If you need to move a coffin around a house then have a trial run with the coffin empty and also check that the coffin will fit in any vehicle for transport later.