Mentor Handbook

In order to be a mentor you must... 

• Have motivation!

• Commit to at least a 1 year mentoring relationship with your protégé

• Dedicate 5-8 hours of your month to communicating with your protégé

• Partake in weekly phone calls with your protégé

• Plan Monthly In-person outings with your protégé

• Engage with our Mentoring Road Map

• Partake in monthly  check-ins with staff

• Be at least 21 years old

• Have School Diploma or GED

• Live in DC, MD, VA

• Be able to commit time to supporting a teen with academic, civic engagement, career and personal development goals

For more information about our expectations for our  mentors, visit the Google Classroom and review Module 2: What is a Mentor?

Mentors, Inc. @ Kid Power Main Office - 202.484.1404

Kaitlin Putnam, program director - 202.227.8961

Hannah Ayer, program manager, 202.570.4913

Aiden Teplitzky Dobens, program manager - 202.227.0366

CHAMPS (Child and Adolescent Mobile Psychiatric Service) of Catholic Charities - (202) 481-1440

National Suicide Awareness and Prevention Hotline - 1-800-273-8255

DC Access Helpline -  In case of a mental health emergency -1(888)7WE-HELP or 1-888-793-4357

Crisis Text Line for free, 24/7 crisis counseling - Text HOME to 741741

In case of an emergency - 911 

Mentoring is a marathon. Along the way, you may encounter challenges you are unsure of how to handle. You may become frustrated or inpatient. It’s okay! We’re here to help. While Mentors, Inc. staff is always here to help, we want to provide you with some guidelines for working with your protégé.

• DO be patient. Building a trust takes time. Don’t push your protégé to open up to you before they are ready.

• DO create a partnership with your protégé. Make decisions together about what to do and find activities you both enjoy and learn from. Don’t make all the decisions. It is important for protégés to feel empowered.

• DO focus on the relationship over performance. We want you to set goals on the Mentoring Road Map, but you cannot do that without a strong relationship as a foundation. Don’t expect too much too soon, or your protégé may be discouraged and feel uncomfortable opening up to you to set goals.

• DO listen. Your protégé is also there to teach you about their experiences. Don’t be afraid of silence.Allowing space for your protégé to speak is important and creates opportunities for them to share.

• DO help your protégé explore solutions to their challenges. Protégés are able to come to their own conclusions about solving their problems, with help of their mentors. Ask questions to help them explore the problem and possible solutions. Don’t use prescriptive language by telling your protégé what they should do. If their solution has a negative outcome, help them identify a new way to approach their problem.

• DO ask open-ended questions. Asking open-ended questions starting with who, what, where, when or why invite your protégé to share more information than “yes” or “no” questions. Don’t be discouraged if your protégé takes time to open up. It takes time.

• DO remember the role of a mentor. You are there for guidance and support. Don’t think it is your job to “fix” your protégé or their problems. Sometimes the challenges our protégés are facing can be overwhelming. Being there to listen and support is sometimes the most valuable thing you can do.

• DO help your protégé keep track of meeting times. They are still building skills to stay organized and keep track of plans. Don’t expect your protégé to remember without help, especially in the beginning. Check-in the day before a meeting, and maybe even make sure the parent knows about schedule outings ahead of time.

• DO expect to be tested and stay consistent. Your protégé may test you as a part of building trust. It is important to keep boundaries consistent and show them that you will be there. Don’t think this means they are uninterested or don’t care. It is often a sign that they do.

• DO recognize your protégé’s strengths and show your appreciation. It is important for your protégé to feel valued. Don’t expect a thank you. It may take years for a protégé to recognize how important you are to them. Stay consistent and know you are making a difference by being there.

• DO ask for help! Mentoring is hard. Mentors, Inc. is here to help. Don't hesitate to reach out if you have a question or concern.

For more information about how you can support your protégé, visit the Google Classroom and review Module 7: Do's and Don'ts of Mentoring and Important Policies

1. Sitting at eye level with the young person.

2. Not acting surprised or shocked or angry when hearing about the crisis, but at the same time being honest and understanding that it is a difficult situation.

3. Remaining calm and compassionate about the child’s experience.

4. Don’t pressure the youth to tell more than she is comfortable telling but instead use “open-ended” questions (questions that won’t elicit only “yes” or “no” responses) to allow the youth to continue if she is comfortable.

5. Don’t make judgmental statements about the situation (e.g., “How could they . . .”)

6. Acknowledge that the youth trusted you enough to tell you.

7. Reflect back to the youth what feelings she is expressing (“That sounds scary.”)

8. Affirm the youth for using her coping skills and surviving.

9. Be honest about what you need to do with the information.

10. Brainstorm her options with the youth and offer appropriate resources.

Published by the Mentoring Resource Center as part of their Ongoing Training for Mentors manual.

For more information about handling difficult situations with your protégé visit the Google Classroom to review Module 6: Handling Difficult Situations. 

Delicate Topics: 

Sex, Peer Pressure, Hygiene, Behavior, Alcohol & Drugs, School performance, Self-image/personal insecurities, Class/Cultural Identities

Delicate topics are likely to come up during discussions between mentors and protégés. Caution needs to be taken, however, since these topics can be touchy and strongly affect the relationship. Generally speaking, delicate topics should be discussed only when initiated by the protégé, and confidentiality takes on greater importance. While mentors should be adequately trained to deal with these topics on their own, they should seek support and feedback from their match support person and other mentors when these issues come up. 

Areas of Concern

Unsafe sex, fist fighting, minor delinquent behavior, gang affiliation, drug & alcohol use. 

Areas of concern may have significant implications for the life of the protégé, and therefore mentors need to report these concerns to MI @ KP staff.  However, these issues do not necessarily require direct intervention. Many of these issues are ongoing conditions that protégés may face, and mentors should face these areas without judgement. It is important for mentors not to focus too heavily on changing behavior as these challenges arise; however, they should be aware of the challenges their protégés may face, and over time they may be able to support protégés in addressing them, taking the protégé's lead in identifying areas for change. 

Crises Requiring Intervention

Child abuse and neglect, abusive relationships, pregnancy and STDs, health problems, drug and alcohol abuse/chemical dependency, severe violence, arrest, depression or suicidality, mental illness, other trauma. 

Crises that are of high concern may require direct and immediate intervention. Mentors should never attempt to handle crises alone! In cases indicating child abuse or neglect, a report should immediately be made following expectations outlined in the Mandated Reporter Training completed by mentors. Others may require a referral or a direct intervention by the mentor program. Many of these situations will require collaboration with families and this will be facilitated by your staff support contact. 

Adapted from a resource published by the Mentoring Resource Center as a part of their Ongoing Training for Mentors Manual. 

For more information about handling difficult situations with your protégé visit the Google Classroom to review Module 6: Handling Difficult Situations

Stage 1: The Beginning of the Match (0-3 Months)

• Ask open-ended questions

• Use body language that is open and not guarded

• Active Listening

• Demonstrate Empathy

• Avoide "prescriptive" communication

• Use prompts

• Speak with language you feel comfortable with

• Don't be afraid of silence

Stage 2: Testing and Challenging (3-6 months)

• Be consistent with your communication, even if it is difficult

• Demonstrate Respect

• Build in problem-solving techniques in your open-ended questions

• Raise sensitive topics at the beginning of your interactions

• Make sure ot separate behaviors from who the protégé is. 

• Disclosure of personal feelings and experiences when appropriate

Stage 3: "Real" Mentoring (6+ months)

• Continue with disclosures when appropriate

• Avoid advising, and allow youth to actively problem-solve

• Build off your knowledge of your protégé's strengths to foster deeper discussions

• Give positive feedback and don't be afraid to let your protégé know when something has hurt you. 

Stage 4: Ending 

• Find common language to sum up your feelings

• Provide feedback that describes growth that you observed

• Be prepared to listen and affirm fears that your protégé may have. 

Published by the Mentoring Resource Center as part of their Ongoing Training for Mentors manual. 

For additional information about working with your protégé through the relationship cycle, visit the Google Classroom to review Module 3: Making Matches and Building Relationships.

Supporting Young People in the Wake of Violence and Trauma

Becoming a Better Mentor

Mentor Portal User Guide

Growth Mindset - explore what growth mindset is and how you can help your protégé build these skills. 

Mentoring LGBTQ Youth - build cultural awareness and skills to support LGBTQ youth and people.

In addition to Mentors, Inc., Kid Power offers a number of other programs to volunteer with including... 

• After-School: After-school enrichment programming centered around civic engagement, academic advancement, and physical/emotional wellness for DCPS youth in grades 2-5 across the district, along with homework help and tutoring.

• VeggieTime: Enrichment programming  involving agriculture, nutrition, gardening and environmental science curriculums and maintaining  school gardens to create safe and healthy outdoor learning spaces for students.

• Summer Leadership Academy:  A 5-week program serving approximately 150 DC students each summer, providing a safe, structured space and helping to prevent summer learning loss.

• High Impct Tutoring: In-school literacy tutoring during the school day. 

To hear more about these programs, please contact our volunteer coordinator at volunteer@kidpowerdc.org or (202) 963-2620.

You can also get started with the onboarding process for volunteering with these programs by filling out our volunteer application.