Communication

As in any relationship, particularly between a protégé and a mentor, effective communication skills are extremely important and useful. Such skills can enhance the mentoring relationship as they establish the foundation to build trust, respect, and connection between both parties. Through practicing clear and open communication, a mentor can provide guidance, advice, and support to the protégé, whereas a protégé can express concerns and feelings, discuss aspirations, and ask for feedback from their mentor.

Strong communication not only to strengthening the mentoring bond but also beyond of the mentoring relationship. These skills can be helpful when communicating with teachers, managing peer relationships, and participating in activities. Below, you will find fun activities and engaging conversation starters to do together as you explore communication skills and their importance.

Conversation Starters

Do you believe communication is important? If so, why?
Have you ever faced a difficult situation where you used communication skills to handle it? If so, how did you handle it?
What steps can you take to improve your communication skills?
Is there a time you remember where poor communication caused a problem? What happened? How could communication changed the outcome?
What is your preferred way of communicating, and why? Examples include talking, listening, using pictures, or writing.
How has communication helped you get to know someone?

Tools and Resources

Need tips for developing your communication skills? Review this list to discover recommended ways that you and your mentor can incorporate to improve your communication skills. This, in turn, will reinforce your mentoring relationship and enable the transfer of these skills beyond the partnership.

Not sure of the different methods of communication that exist? This article will explore four different communication methods, each highlighting their individual usage as well as their strengths and weaknesses. As a match, you can both discuss which is your preferred method of communication, as it provides insight into what method the protégé and mentor will most likely be using throughout the relationship.

Activities

Take a quick questionnaire to assess your communication skills! This is a great opportunity to do together as a match, as you can both identify areas in which you excel and areas that may need improvement.

Attend online or networking events together. This could be a valuable opportunity that protégés and mentors can engage in together so protégés can gain experience communicating with professionals.

Play a game! Look for a game to play with your protégé or mentor to practice enhancing your communication skills together.

Active Listening

Active listening requires you to listen attentively to a speaker, understand what they're saying, respond and reflect on what's being said, and retain the information for later. This keeps both listener and speaker actively engaged in the conversation, and it's an essential building block of compassionate leadership.

Practice

Now let’s practice active listening with your mentor! To do this, have a conversation with your mentor - it can be about anything, your favorite TV show, a class at school, sports, or whatever you want! Then show them you are listening by using this checklist:

DO: Face the speaker and hold eye contact.
DO: Show you are listening with a nod of your head or “uh huh”
DO: Listen without judging, or jumping to conclusions.
DO: Ask questions.
DO: Paraphrase or summarize what they said.
DON’T: Interrupt.
DON’T: Start planning what to say next.
DON’T: Impose your opinions or solutions.

Transitions and Communication

We all go through changes at different points in our lives. Transitions can mean our communication needs to change too. Good communication skills are important at any time in life, especially in big life transitions like starting a new school year, family changes, moving to a new home, etc. Check out these resources to help you learn how to build your communication skills.

Talk it out: Everyone needs ample time to talk about problems and concerns, as well as hopes and dreams. People going through a life transition often need to talk even more than usual to absorb and understand what’s happening.

Maybe you have underestimated how much you need to talk, even how much you need to repeat the same stories. Allow enough time and talk to more than one friend. This way you avoid “wearing out” a friendship, and you’ll enjoy the benefits of many perspectives, ideas, and resources.

Practice listening: We all need someone who will listen without judging, giving advice, or making suggestions. Practice being that person. When someone else talks, try not to interrupt, respond immediately to someone’s story with one of your own, or make heroes or villains out of the people being discussed. By listening carefully, you will learn more about the other person.

If you’re the one doing the talking, seek out people who will provide this kind of open-minded, “neutral” listening. All this means that the neutral ear of a caring friend is the best to give—and receive. Be a good listener and seek good listeners.

Avoid misinterpretation: When you hear others talk, you may assume you understand everything they say, as well as their intentions and feelings. But be careful. It’s easy to misinterpret others, either because you don’t understand the meaning of their words, or because you’re getting the wrong impression from their body language or tone of voice. If you’re not clear about what the other person is trying to communicate, ask for clarification.

Others can also misinterpret what you’re trying to communicate because they don’t understand the words you’re saying or you’re sending mixed signals through your body language or tone of voice. It’s your responsibility to think carefully about your choice of words and to be aware of the signals you’re sending. Don’t assume that you always understand what others are saying, or that they always understand you through body language or tone of voice.

Get feedback: In order to improve your communication skills, you’ll need good feedback. You need to have the ability to ask a trusted friend, “What did you hear me say?” or “What do I sound like to you?” Then you can develop better communication skills based on their response.

Conflict and Resolution

Conflict resolution is the process of ending a dispute and reaching an agreement that satisfies all parties involved. Since conflict is an essential part of being human, effective conflict resolution is not designed to avoid disagreements.

Check out this video to learn more about how to handle conflict with your friends and family: Conflict Resolution

Now let’s practice! Try to do this, have a conversation about a conflict, and follow the tips below to come to a resolution with your mentor:

Use 'yes, and' statements.
Don't point fingers.
Let the person explain themselves, and actively listen.
Use 'I' statements.
Maintain a calm tone.
Show a willingness to compromise or collaborate.
Don't talk behind people's backs.
Don't take anything personally.

Long Distance Communication

Sometimes we don’t see our friends or family for a little while - like when we are on vacation, when life is busy, or when someone has moved away. When a relationship is important to you, you want to stay connected to someone! Here are some ideas and activities that you can practice with your mentor to stay connected:

Keep it consistent. Find a schedule that works for both of you.
Communication is key - send texts or calls to let someone know you are thinking of them!
Create a playlist on Spotify together - after you’ve created the playlist, you can continue to add songs that you’d like to share.
Read a book and discuss when you are done!
Play a game online together.

Conversation Starters: When you are on the phone, it is important to connect and take the time to see what is going on in someone’s life. Here are some conversation starters to get you started:

Tell me 3 good things that happened today.
Tell me one bad thing that happened today.
What is the funniest thing that happened to you today?
What is one thing you learned today that was unexpected?
What was the worst/best thing that you ate at lunch today?
What is the weirdest thing you saw today?
If you could have used a superpower today, what would it have been and why?
What is your favorite all time memory?
What is your favorite meal?
If someone dead or alive could walk through the door right now, who would it be and why?

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