Perfectionism can inspire children to aim high, but when it crosses into unrealistic expectations, it often leads to stress, underachievement, and even serious health concerns. In this article, Michael Pyryt explores how perfectionism shows up in gifted children, whether it’s tearing up a nearly flawless project, refusing to turn in work that isn’t “perfect,” or feeling worthless over small mistakes. He also shares how parents can support their children by helping them separate self-worth from achievement, set realistic goals, and celebrate progress instead of focusing only on flaws. 

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Perfectionism often looks like excellence, but for many gifted children it can become a heavy burden, leading to fear of mistakes, stress, or even underachievement. In this interview, Dr. Sylvia Rimm explains the fine line between striving for excellence and being trapped by unrealistic expectations. She offers practical strategies for parents and teachers—such as moderating praise, sharing stories of famous failures, and modeling how to laugh at mistakes—to help children develop resilience.

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When bright children consistently perform below their potential, it can be a sign of underachievement—a complex issue with many possible causes. Factors like peer pressure, perfectionism, undiagnosed learning challenges, or a curriculum that isn’t engaging enough can all play a role. Parents are encouraged to ask key questions about their child’s confidence, motivation, and school experiences to uncover what might be holding them back. 

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Perfectionism might look like a child striving for excellence, but in reality, it can create stress, anxiety, and a lifelong struggle with never feeling “good enough.” From late nights and torn-up papers to avoiding new challenges, perfectionism robs kids of confidence and joy in their accomplishments. Experts explain the different types of perfectionism, the risks it creates for children’s mental health, and the warning signs parents should watch for. 

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