Parents' Views.

It’s difficult enough to know that your child is seriously ill. But with mental illness, a parent has to deal with much more than the illness itself. There is the personal shame at having a family that is not “normal.” There is the wish to react in the "right way," without having the vaguest idea what that "right way" is. For many parents, accepting that your child has a mental illness is hard. There is a great wish to avoid and deny. On the good days, it is easy to believe the child has overcome the challenges and is okay.

The problem is that shame and guilt can get in the way of getting the right help. Unless acknowledged, these personal feelings can limit your ability to reach out and maximize the help you can get for your child and for yourself.

If your teenager starts sending out negative statements about themselves, give lots of positive messages back. Encourage healthy eating, regular exercise and new challenges and adventures, for example encouraging them to take on a new activity, which can break them out of the spiral of depression.

Acknowledging your child is upset by listening and talking is really important too. Sometimes planting the seed that you’ve noticed they’re not happy and are ready to talk when they are can set the ball rolling. If your teen is particularly uncommunicative, trying communicating on their terms through a text or email saying you think they seem down in the dumps and you’re there if they need you.


Talk with your child about depression and moods. Kids might ignore, hide, or deny how they feel. Or they might not realize that they're depressed. Older kids and teens might act like they don't want help, but talk with them anyway. Listen, offer your support, and show love.

Schedule a visit to your child's pediatrician. The doctor will probably do a complete physical exam. A full exam lets the doctor check your child for other health conditions that could cause depression-like symptoms. If the doctor thinks your child has depression, or a similar mood disorder, he or she may refer you to a specialist for evaluation and treatment.

Contact a mental health specialist. Depression can get better. But without help, it can last or get worse. A child or adolescent psychiatrist or psychologist can evaluate your child and recommend treatment.

Therapists treat depression and other mood disorders with talk therapy, sometimes medicine, or both. Parent counseling is often part of the treatment, too. It focuses on ways parents can best support and respond to a kid or teen going through depression.