Weird Calendars
In this article, Karlee talks about the weirdest calendars that somehow exist and makes fun of them.
Weird Calendars
By Karlee Cornell
This month, I said I would make an article poking fun at calendars as a joke, but I ran out of ideas and then I said, "Ah, what the heck? I'm bored. Plus, the creations that have been made on calendars are hilariously horrible or just really weird. You can either chill out in the snow or go on a journey with me. I suggest the latter.
2024 Animal Calendar
A gopher eating pizza that's three times the size of his head in nothing but tighty whiteys. This reminds me of another failed ad attempt from Geico where the company is trying to make animals have some sort of relation to car insurance. The gopher is not even eating the pizza right. The pepperoni is stuck in the cheese. The crust on the left side looks terrible, too. My appetite is confused.
If I were to rate this, I'd give it a 4/10. Funny, but I think they forgot to make the whole pizza look editable and the tighties look completely mixed up in a different fabric. It's an animal, though, so who cares-- but, c'mon, at least get it right. The more realistic, the more laughter escapes the mouth. Here is an example of a gopher opening its mouth.
2023 Calendar
A kid drawing that looks like an infectious fly took control over a grandma. Buzz, hey sunny buzz, ol' boy. Buzz, can ya-buzz give your cute, buzzy little granny some of your infamous buzz garbage? You're such a, buzz, nice young lad that should get noticed more often. No, this was us tiny little kids looking up at the lunch ladies and seeing this. They wondered why we were so nervous? Our parents were born in the era of the most well-known scary movies: like It, The Shining, and Nightmare On Elm Street .
This has to be an 8/10 now because here's a random picture I found on the internet of Spongebob as a ''granny.'' Come give your granny some sugar with salty pineapples that just so happen to have a toilet in them. All jokes aside I did not plan this. These calendars would not leave me alone. I mean look at that face. If i showed this to Mrs. Albertson she would yell at me because im creeping her out.
2022 President Calendar
A very dapper meme calendar. This also reminded me of Two Face from Batman so enjoy this argument mixed up with quotes.Two Face: "You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain. One man is born a hero, his brother a coward ... stupid, simple doo-dah." Abraham: I'm not bound to win.” Two Face: ‘’No the joker can not win.’’ Abraham: “Nothing would scare the crap out of a British man more than George Washington.’’ ''Every man is said to have peculiar ambition.''
Two face: ‘’You thought we could be decent men at an indecent time but you were wrong.’’ Abraham: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt - It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid. The ol' pops and the abandoned cocaine uncle of the yearly cultures are fighting. 8/10? maybe did yall even ask for this? I have no idea but it's here now. Yes mom, I spent my time creating the most random script about a fictional villan arguing with a dead president.
2020 Calendar
A turtle embracing its inner furry. The outline and shadowing is actually super well done. This ai robot should just give up trolling the internet and be the next Bob Ross. I'd support that. All though I would actually buy this and torture my cousins with the image of a wolf turtle. That would be the only eventful moment of my break. Its weirdly histarical, come on.
Im like this turtle wolf thing, okay im sort of like it. Its my mood for the winter. Stop drop and rolling to get more blankets in three sweaters and sob while I get random texts like why do your favorite movies involve animated china dolls? I don't know maybe i'll tell you when my body does not feel like its suffocating in ice. In conclusion, don't trust ai, or trust strange calendar creators.
Sources:
