When You're 35

By: Wayne Doyle & Joel Collen

“Tomorrow belongs to those who can hear it coming”

― David Bowie

 “When you’re 35 and you wake up and go to work, what do you want that day look like?”  

I (Wayne) am the Director of Veteran Student Support Services at Eastern Michigan University.  It is the case with most newly discharged members of the military that they are leaving a profession that they found fulfilling and worthy of their best efforts.  The day we are discharged can result in a sense of loss, and a loss of identity.  Replacing that with another fulfilling profession is essential.  But for any student, having a clear goal, a clear path to get there, and a team to assist is important.

That is why I often ask that question when I meet any new student.

Some students answer the question with clarity, some are baffled, most are somewhere in between.  When I met Ben, he caught me off guard and said, “I’m 40.”  But that question starts a powerful long-term discussion.  It allows us to chart a course with the student on how to clarify the student’s goal, the plan to get there, and, importantly,  identify the network of people who need to be on their team to achieve it.

Here are examples of where that question has led.  

Lawson: “I figured I would just take gen eds the first year and sort of wait and see.”  Staff: “Let’s go to UACDC, meet with April, see if we can narrow the search, and target some classes in a few fields you might find interesting.”  Or, staff: “Why do you want to major in Computer Science?”  Mark: “Because that’s what they told me I should major in at my community college.”  Staff: “Do you like programming?”  Mark: “No, I like networking.”  Staff: “Let’s go visit Jennifer over at Sill and see if the IT major might be a better fit.”

These are simple things (at least for experienced staff and faculty).  The point is, these topics merit attention and discussion very early on.  They also call for us to deliberately engage, connect with other staff or faculty, and follow up.

John is a psychology major who does have clear ideas on his long-term goals.  His plan to get there was not so clear.  We went through the faculty profiles in his department and he noted a few who had backgrounds which mirrored what he wanted.  We selected courses based on those faculty for his first semester to form relationships and use them as mentors. John said, “That’s genius!”  

It isn’t genius, but the caution here is not to make assumptions about how much a new student might know about how to take control of their own education.  Students are very intelligent, but it is up to the old dogs to teach them the tricks, even the ones we see as simple.

Keisha once said, “No possibility of graduate school”.  That was her first year.  The second year, she said, “Maybe…at least I’ll think about it.”  The third year was, “Oh, yes, that’s a definite.”  Chris said the term “graduate school” didn’t exist in his family’s lexicon.  It wasn’t something that he was even worthy to consider.  That was a few years before he graduated with a master’s in microbiology.

It would give my ego no end of satisfaction to take credit.  In fact, my contribution was only in asking, and then introducing them to the right advisors and faculty.  But if I had a superpower, it would be that I know capable, talented, and energetic people from one end of this campus to the other, who are happy to engage with students we lead to them.  

Dakota was a Mechanical Engineering Technology major.  After helping him with a resume, cover letter, internship search techniques and some persistent (possibly annoying) follow-up status reports, he finally landed an internship.  They were so impressed with him they kept him until he graduated, then hired him full-time.

This is to say that education is the means, not the end, at least for most students.  I once heard an academic advisor say, “If all we can do is get a student to the graduation stage, we have failed them.”  I believe she was correct, and the career launch should be central to what we do here and help students connect college to career. 

Joel, an EMU graduate student, is still working on the answer to that question of what he will be doing when he’s 35.

Joel: Starting college can often feel overwhelming, like standing at a crossroads where, instead of turning left or right, we have a myriad of options available.  Education, nursing, engineering, psychology, biology, chemistry, physics, history, cybersecurity, and computer science are all possible pathways, and all have potential.  The burden of choice is real.

Specific choices aside, the most valuable part of college is commonly available to every student, in every major.  I’ve found that some of the most enriching experiences I’ve had were beyond the classroom, and I wouldn’t have encountered these opportunities had it not been for the initial connections that I was led into.

There is a type of butterfly effect at play wherein connections cascade into one another and the resulting opportunities are beyond anything that was expected.  Such has been my experience at EMU.  I’ve had the opportunity to engage in research, contribute to grant proposals, participate in volunteer efforts, and even teach classes.  Each of these has been thoroughly enriching on their own, and each opportunity represents possibility.   

Perhaps the most enriching of these experiences was the opportunity to participate in the ‘Persisting Together’ learning community through the Faculty Development Center. Wayne pointed me in the direction of the learning community, and introduced me to Dr. Bernstein, and I jumped at the chance to participate because I had already been shoved in the direction of seeking connections. As it turned out, the community was focused on increasing student retention, which, in turn, we found is largely a function of making connections. The more at-home students feel on campus, and the more connected they are to peers and faculty, the more likely they are to return for the next semester.  

I saw within the learning community a meta-analysis of my own experience in college.  I have dropped out of college before and now know that I had been motivated to do so, in part, because I did not have any roots there.  Now, my roots at EMU are extensive, in large part because of the Persisting Together community, where my connections branched out across multiple departments.  Specifically, participating in that community led me to meet Dr. Koolage, the head of the Philosophy department, who, in turn, encouraged me to pursue a master’s degree in philosophy because of the work we had done together.  So, my current status as a burgeoning philosopher is intricately tied to the succession of connections that I made as an undergraduate student, and to the impetus of having been pushed to connect.  

Showing a student how to connect with the university, and then connecting that with their future at 35 is something all of us should deliberately play a role in.  Sometimes the effort doesn’t take much more than the butterfly puts into changing the path of a hurricane.  Sometimes it takes the effort of the hurricane.  But it’s always worth it.