Staring Contest
when you look in the mirror
do you ever have that...that sense of detachment
that girl i’m looking at, that can’t be me
no her eyes are too brown
her lips are a little too chapped
no, that can’t be me
that detachment
to me, it comes to me first from the eyes
my eyes feel as if they aren’t part of me anymore
i become a third party to this stare down
these twins
they can’t stop staring
something is wrong, but what is it?
she stares too hard
or her eyebrows scrunch up the wrong way
her smile seems crooked
why can’t i smile right?
i mean, why can’t she smile right?
when you look in the mirror
it’s hard to keep yourself sane staring into an abyss
why can’t i stop staring?
why can’t i pull myself from those woeful eyes
they stare at me
begging for help, to pull their detached eyes away from this madness
the cycle never ends
i don’t want to pull my eyes away but she tells me to
her eyes squint, her nose wiggles
anything to pull her eyes away from this reflective staring contest
Title
I first realized you wouldn’t like me back while I was writing shitty poetry
I was wondering why the words didn’t seem to work when I realized it was because of you
I want to live what I write in poetry with you
I want that type of love
Even the poetry that has the bad parts, because if there are bad parts there have to be good ones too