Co-regulation

When your child is expressing a feeling, get down to his/her level and give them your attention.

Maintain a calm tone of voice, keep words simple, and give a hug or a back rub if you know it is soothing to your child.

Maintain connection and compassion shows that you are there to support and your child does not have to work through this intense feeling alone.

Label all feelings and keep it basic (i.e. “It seems like that was really frustrating for you”). Focus on the feelings, not on the behavior.

It is regulating to be around people who acknowledge feelings. Demonstrate empathy-empathy keeps people calm.

Using pictures can help to teach them what the feelings look like:

Talk about what it feels like in their body when they are feeling something (My heart beats fast and my face turns red when I am frustrated).

Calmly take deep breaths so your student/ child can see you practicing self-calming.

If it does not make your child, more upset, sit next to or hold your child while you breathe deeply so your child can feel the rhythm of breathing. 

Slowly and rhythmically, rub your child’s back, feet, arms, hands etc., when they are recovered.

Hold your child in a hug, rocking back and forth.

Connecting like this lets them know that you will be there when they are ready.

Try lowering lights and turning off noisy toys and devices.

Sing softly or play music.

Soft blankets, stuffed animal or other objects that children can touch or feel can help them focus and calm down.

A cold washcloth over the eyes can reduce visual stimulation and calm an overly stressed system.