2. SEXUAL PROBLEMS IN CHILDREN AND TEENAGERS
Sexual problems in children and teenagers can be divided as follows:
2.1 UNUSUAL SEXUAL IDENTITY
Transgender children think that they are of the opposite sex than the sex they are born with and do as follows. -
Prefer to cross-dress. Boys prefer to wear skirts and dislike wearing pants. Girls dislike skirts but like to wear pants. Boys put on
make-up, like to see their mother dressed up and imitate her.
Imitate the opposite sex and play with opposite sex groups. Boys do not like to be violent and join other-sex groups.
Imagine being of opposite sex while playing. Boys imagine themselves as princess or angle.
Not being satisfied with their sexual organs. Some dislike or pretend that they do not have sexual organs or even want to get rid of them. The boys sit to urinate imitating the opposite sex intentionally or unintentionally.
All these manners will continually happen. The boys may be teased or kept away from the same sex group. As a result, the boys prefer to join the opposite sex and gradually imitate the opposite sexes behavior and until it becomes their own behavior.
When they become teenagers, they feel even more uncomfortable about their own sexual organs and need them to be changed and thus become their own personality.
2.2 HOMOSEXUALITY
The manners of homosexual people are clearly seen when they become teenagers and develop sexual desires and having a sexual orientation that makes them desire sexual intercourse with a same sex partner.
Homosexual people are very well aware of their own sexual organs. Male homosexuals understand themselves as males, and female homosexuals as females.
The desire towards a same sex can be shown clearly or be hidden.
The appearance of outer action might be shown clearly or be hidden depending on their personality and social acceptance.
A male homosexual is called gay (or tood – tav). A gay person can be a gay king or gay queen. A gay king plays his gender role as a male und not as a female, so they will be perceived as normal males. But the appearance of a gay queen, such as the way of speaking, interests and activities will be like a female’s preferences.
Female homosexuals are called lesbians. A lesbian person can be a tom or lady or dy. A day’s gender role is the same as that of any other woman, while a tom’s gender role is like that of a man wearing short hair and not wearing skirts.
A third group of homosexual people are the bi-sexual people; their sexual desire draws them to both sexes. They have sexual feelings towards both two sexes.
Causes.
At present, there is some evidence supporting that homosexuality results from biological, heredital, educational or environmental influences.
Assistance.
If homosexual behavior is shown in childhood, it might be changed by getting more attention from the parent of the same sex. This might realign them to the right sexual behavior but parent and child must have a good relation with each other. Encouraging suitable activities for each sex such as motivating a boy to play sports for the strong body and having him join a same sex group can assist him.
If it is known that they are the homosexual when teenagers and cannot be changed, help them by giving advice as how to spend a homosexual life with least problems. Also advise their parents to accept this situation by continuing giving them good relations.
Prevention.
When they are young, their parents should have a good relationship to them. The parent of the same sex as the child should have a closer relationship to them. They should advise them how to make friends and encourage activities suitable for their own sexes.
2.3 SEXUAL SELF-STIMULATION OF A CHILD AND PLAYING WITH THE SEX ORGANS
Sexual self-stimulation is the action when children rub their sexual organs with a pillow or on the floor.
This behavior might result from being lonely, feeling abandoned or being emotionally sick. Children may discover by accident that when their sexual organs are stimulated, they feel happy and satisfied. They might repeat this action until it becomes habitual.
ASSISTING
1. Stop this behavior gently by telling them to keep their hands off the sexual organs, lie down on the back and say, “don’t do this”, and give the suitable reasons to motivate them.
2. Attract their attention and let them change their manner by persuading them to talk.
3. Find replacing activities to make them to move, enjoy, and be happy with the social activities.
4. Do not leave them alone, abandoned, or feeling lonely. They might be back to self- stimulation again.
5. Avoid aggressiveness and violence while asking them to stop the behavior. Otherwise it may result in bad attitudes towards sex, or causing them to get depressed and dissatisfied with sexuality when they grow up.
2.4 SEXUAL SELF-STIMULATION OF ADOLESCENTS, MASTURBATION
The cause. Sexual self-stimulation among adolescents is a normal behavior. It is acceptable and not harmful if it is not too frequent or too obsessed. It is frequently found in children with psychological problems, retardation, loneliness, sexual pervertness and in a sexual stimulating environment with too much temptation.
Assistance. Giving the right knowledge about sex and stating their masturbation properly, not too frequently, reduce improper sexual stimulation by activities that attract their attention, encourage them to get exercise, and have them control their behavior.
2.5 PARAPHILIAS
Symptoms. Paraphiliacs cannot have the feeling of sexual desire from normal sexual situations. They can have such sexual desire only when aroused by a peculiar condition which will not happen to ordinary people. They usually use a particular thing to arouse themselves; paraphiliacs cannot be sexually tempted like normal people. This results in abnormal sexual behaviors which are as follows:
Paraphilia Types
1. Sexual arousal from touching, groping, sniffing underwear is called ‚Fetishism.
2. Sexual arousal from showing their own sexual organs is called ‚Exhibitionism.
3. Sexual arousal from rubbing and external touching is called ‚Frotteurism.
4. Sexual arousal from spying on people is called ‚Voyeurism.
5. Sexual arousal from hurting others physically, mentally or emotionally is called ‚Sadism.
6. Sexual arousal from hurting oneself physically, mentally or emotionally is called‚ Masochism.
7. Sexual arousal with a child is called ‚Pedophilia.
8. Sexual arousal with animals is called ‚Zoophilia.
9. Sexual arousal by wearing clothes of the opposite sex is called‚ Transvestism.
The causes of Sexual Abnormality
1. Education. Parents teach them wrong attitude towards sex. Children learn about sex as a forbidden, hidden or sinful behavior. They suppress sexual stimuli and do not show off their sexual response when stimulated.
2. Experience. When children begin to have sexual feelings but cannot have a usual sexual response, they experiment and discover by themselves some situation to stimulate and satisfy their sexual desire.
Assistance
Using the following behavior therapy patterns:
1. Setting the environment by eliminating the original stimuli which are inappropriate. Providing compensating activities to deviate their interest. Do not isolate them but try to change the sexual attitudes in the family, telling them that sex is not prohibited and it can be talked about and learned. Parents should teach their children about sex.
2. Training children to control their sexual desires when they are aroused. Try not to use unusual stimuli.
3. Using usual stimuli such as nude pictures, or suggest how to suitably asturbate.
4. If the unusual behavior continues, take note of the incident and observe the frequency of such action, the cause of the stimulation; control their behavior, provide rewards if such behavior decreases.
Protection. Provide sexual education, focusing on good attitudes, while they are children.
2.6 SEXUAL RELATIONS IN TEENAGERS
Problems: Improper sexual behavior among peers or having sex premature.
The Cause:
1. Children lack love and warmth in the family.
2. Children underestimate themselves which may result from unsuccessful studying, and therefore seeking acceptance, happiness, and complacency from their lovers.
3. Children lack knowledge about problems that might arise after having sex, about self- protection, and lacking the skills of dealing with their sexual feelings.
4. Parents do not have sufficient sexual knowledge and are not able to explain sex to the children, so children seek knowledge from friends.
5. The peer influence creates the attitude that sexual relations are commonly with no risk and do not cause any problems.
6. Some sexual stimulation caused by parents, the family, and friends, or from improper sexually provocative media.
Prevention
Prevention of sexual relations among teenagers can be divided into the following levels:
1. Basic prevention. Before the problems occur, try to eliminate any risks by treating the teenagers with warmth and love in the family, creating self-value and providing a positive attitude towards sex, and finally in setting good examples.
2. The second levels of prevention. Try to prevent or decrease risky sexual relations among teenagers by having them realize not to have sexual relations while studying or pre-marriage. Find a way to divert their attention to creative activities.
3. The third level of prevention. For those who cannot stop having a sexual relation, provide them with sex education to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Also divert their attention to compensating activities.