Parenting Tips and Support
All behavior serves a function to get a need met.
Kids do best with consistency and boundaries.
Parenting is just one piece that shapes children.
General Parenting
What I love about "Love and Logic" is the simple approach that applies consistency and consequences for children. Teachers at Renaissance ELOB, use "Love and Logic" as guiding principals in the learning environment. Parent's can use the Love and Logic strategies to disengage from their child(ren)'s negative behaviors, set boundaries at home, and instill responsibility for their child(ren)'s behaviors.
Love and Logic Resources at the Douglas County Public Library - a large selection of audiobooks, DVDs, ebooks and regular books on Love and Logic topics
Weekly Tips from Love and Logic by Email - Enter your email in the box in the middle of the page at this link to get weekly tips delivered to your email inbox.
If you would like access to Love and Logic resources, as well as access to some of the Love and Logic books, please talk to a Renaissance ELOB teacher.
We all have that thought - "is this normal"? Check it out, ease some of those thoughts.
Addiction and illicit drug use (resources provided by The Recovery Village Palmer Lake)
Addiction and illicit drug use have been a growing problem in the country for years. The abuse of prescription drugs, especially painkillers, has also become more common than in previous decades. This is why drug treatment centers in Colorado and throughout the country are offering more individualized rehabilitation treatment programs. The Recovery Village Palmer Lake is a key player in supporting parents with teen/adolescent drug and alcohol use.
After 14 years as a School Social Worker, this site is still my go to when I want easy to read articles on topics I need guidance on. They offer knowledge, advice and comfort. This site gives advice on death, divorce, worry, learning and more. There are even articles for kids and teens, written at their level, that I share with them at school. For example, here is an article on how to help kids deal with stress and manage their emotions.
A Mighty Girl is the world’s largest collection of books, toys, movies, and music for parents, teachers, and others dedicated to raising smart, confident, and courageous girls and, of course, for girls themselves! Go straight to their book recommendations here.
There is a credible source of suggestions on parenting, in addition to resources to discuss your child's circumstances and development with a qualified mental health counselor.
A one-stop resource developed with parents in mind. It’s produced by NBC News Education Nation and supported by Pearson and includes information about almost every aspect of your child’s development, because they're all connected.
Great blog to search for books that you can read with your kids on any mental health topic. Some common searches are divorce, grief, worry, anger. The google search is always a good start, but this resource will tell you why these books are good and give some age recommendations.
(Looking for bibliotherapy with a focus on gifted students?)Anxiety
Working with Stress and Anxiety is one of my most favorite in my job to address, and it's partly because Dr. Tamar Chansky is brilliant. Her methods for dealing with your child's anxiety are straight forward. These strategies are used throughout The School District because they work. Dr. Chansky's book, Freeing your Child from Anxiety: Revised and Updated Edition give you solutions you can use immediately to overcome fears, worries, and phobias.
Tamar Chansky's Website is run by Dr. Chansky herself and gives advice, blogs and books from early childhood through adult.
Anxiety is the overestimation of fear and underestimation of ability. With this simple breakdown of anxiety, it becomes more clear on how to overcome this feeling. I think it's important to know that all feelings serve a purpose, and not all feelings of anxiety are bad or dysfunctional. If you would like more advice or just a chance to talk about your child's anxiety, please contact me at allison.armour@dcsdk12.org.
Other web resources for anxiety: here
Ways to decrease anxiety at home:
Change your mindset from a "Fixed Mindset" to a "Growth Mindset"
Participate in Acts of Kindness (google your own, or get some ideas here)
Additional Tips and Resources from Anxiety and Depression Association of America
Dr. Scott Cypers Anxiety Series on YouTube:
Watch the first video HERE: Understanding Your Brain and How Anxiety Fits Into the Picture
Watch the second video HERE: Anxiety 101: All You Need to Know about Anxiety
Watch the third video HERE: Core Skills to Fight Anxiety, Part 1: Emotional Tools
Watch the fourth video HERE: Core Skills to Fight Anxiety, Part 2: Cognitive Skills
Watch the fifth video HERE: Core Skills to Fight Anxiety, Part 3: Doing/Behavioral Skills
Watch the sixth video HERE: Why do Many Kids Invariably Report These Skills Don’t Work?
Watch the seventh video HERE: E Step, Part 01: Evaluating & Enhancing Motivation
Watch the eighth video HERE: E Step, Part 02: Evaluating & Enhancing Motivation
Watch the ninth video HERE: Exposure Work: Tips to Help When Doing Exposures
(Significant) Behaviors
Melting Down After School:
Do you ever pick up your student from school and they are cranky, irritable or even completely lose control after school ? You are not alone and it is not a rare occurrence. So if you are dealing with this issue, you might find some good ideas (or at least find that you aren't alone) in these articles:
5 Sure Fire Ways to Stop the After School Attitude
After-School Restraint Collapse is Real
After School Meltdowns: Why They Happen and What You Can Do
Explosive Behaviors
I'm a big fan of Dr. Ross W. Greene and I highly recommend his strategies; in fact, they are strategies that DCSD uses for their most significant behaviors. Dr. Greene's book, The Explosive Child, is a great read to understand Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) to use with your child.
Lives in the Balance: A website run by Dr. Greene and his non-profit organization to help children succeed.
"All kids have times when they struggle to handle life's expectations. Those with significant behavioral challenges seem to have more of those times, and respond in ways that are more extreme. But whether your child responds in ways that are more concerning -- hitting, kicking, screaming, swearing, biting, spitting -- or in ways that are more tame -- whining, pouting, sulking, crying, withdrawing -- your goal is to identify and solve the problems that are causing those behaviors." http://www.livesinthebalance.org/
Death & Grief
Everyone handles death and grief in their own way. Here are tips when you talking with children about death and grief:
Be honest.
Control your own emotions.
Let the child(ren) lead the conversation, they will ask the questions they need answered.
Kids are smarter and more perceptive than you realize so be honest.
Do not dismiss their feelings.
Getting back into the "swing" of things creates consistency and structure; this helps them feel safe.
Let teachers and other important people in your child(ren)'s life know, they can help you become aware of any significant changes they notice daily living skills.
Grief for Young Children from Sesame Street
When Grief/Loss Hits Close to Home
Recommended Books for Children Coping with Grief/Loss
Tips for Teachers and Administrators
Looking for therapy to help your child? Use the resources on the Counseling Resource page. If there are questions or concerns you have, or for your child, please contact their classroom teacher.
Developmental
Is this normal? So many times as parents we wonder if what our kid is doing is "normal." Below you will find inforation on developmental stages that should be used as a guide. As always if you have developmental concerns, you should discuss this with your child's pediatrician.
Children's developmental and academic milestones:
Divorce
Divorce is never easy for anyone involved. Below are tips to keep in mind for you and your child(ren).
Control your emotions.
Do not badmouth your ex.
Do not use your children as a messenger between you and your ex.
Kids are smarter and more perceptive than you realize so be honest.
Do not dismiss their feelings.
Reassure your child(ren) that they are loved and divorce is not their fault.
Creating consistency and boundaries between parents; this helps them feel safe.
Find a way to co-exist with your ex.
Let teachers and other important people in your child(ren)'s life know they can help you become aware of any significant changes they notice daily living skills.
Many school mental health try to support students at school when there is a significant change to the home environment; but as a parent, you must initiate this support. If you would like some books that you can read with your child, or books they can read themselves, check out this resource at Books that Heal. It is important to know that there are also many out-of-school support for children of divorce that you can access in The Douglas County Youth Initiative Guide. Resources are alphabetical. All therapeutic resources have been recommended by School District Mental Health Professionals. http://www.douglas.co.us/documents/youth-and-family-resource-guide.pdf
Emotion Management
Gender Identity
Most children's gender identity aligns with their biological sex. However, for some children, the match between biological sex and gender identity is not so clear. This article discusses how parents can promote healthy gender development in children.
Research suggests that gender is something we are born with; it can't be changed by any interventions. It is critically important that children feel loved and accepted for who they are.
Gender Non-Conforming & Transgender Children
Sexual Development: Tips for Parents
What parents can do:
When your child discloses his or her identity to you, respond in an affirming, supportive way. Understand that although gender identity and sexuality are not able to be changed, the way people identify their sexual orientation or gender identity may change over time as they discover more about themselves.
Accept and love your child as they are. They will need your support and validation to develop into healthy teens and adults.
Stand up for your child when he or she is mistreated. Do not minimize the social pressure or bullying your child may be facing. See How You Can Help Your Child Avoid & Address Bullying.
Make it clear that slurs or jokes based on gender, gender identity, or sexual orientation are not tolerated. Express your disapproval of these types of jokes or slurs when you encounter them in the community or media.
Be on the look out for signs of anxiety, insecurity, depression, and low self-esteem. Some children who do not have a supportive family or friend group may struggle with these emotional problems. See Mental Health and Teens: Watch for Dangers Signs.
Connect your child with LGBTQ organizations, resources, and events. It is important for them to know they are not alone.
Celebrate diversity in all forms.
Provide access to a variety of books (and more books here), movies, and materials—including those that positively represent same-sex relationships.
Point out LGBTQ celebrities, role models who stand up for the LGBTQ community, and people who demonstrate bravery in the face of social stigma.
Support your child's self-expression through choices of clothing, jewelry hairstyle, friends, and room decoration.
Reach out for education, resources, and support if you feel the need to deepen your own understanding of LGBTQ youth experiences.
Growth Mindset
Growth Mindset is NOT about being “positive” or placating your thoughts and feelings. It’s about understanding that your brain is constantly learning and growing. It’s about seeing failure as an opportunity to learn something new and different.
Mindset by Carol Dweck
I believe that we can teach children how they can change their thoughts; which in turn, changes their feelings, behaviors, and how their body responds to their environment. This skill can also be used to promote confidence, independence, and decrease negative feelings of anxiety and depression.
Growth Mindset is about the effort and the outcome of that effort. Which is why at REMS our grading looks different and we have showcases of learning. Below are some videos to help understand a growth mindset and share with your children.
The Magical Yet: A storybook on “YET”