In third place is the…umm… unique? (yeah, unique works) Bologna cake! This recipe from Claire Wells' cooking blog on the platform Insanely Good Let's Eat is a fabulous way to avoid gaining weight during the dessert train, but it will add to that uncomfortable cholesterol your dad struggles with. This delight is a layered savory dessert with layers of flavored cream cheese and bologna meat. Start by mixing up your cream cheese, Worcestershire sauce, and grated onion. Then, in a mold, form layers, starting with your cream cheese, then bologna, and continue until the mold is full. Chill overnight, serve with Ritz crackers, and Voila! The perfect dessert (whoever claimed this as a dessert knew they were making a bologna claim) to sit right next to your great-grandmother's homemade pumpkin pie recipe, because crushed-up processed meat deserves first place over the generational treasure of timeless pumpkin pie.

The fourth dish on our list is pear and pomegranate lamb. Not really in the mood for turkey? Want a more red meat dish? Try the sweet and savory pear and pomegranate lamb. Brought to you by Taste of Home, this dish is more of a main course Mary worked hard in her fields to bring than a side, but it's still a great way to show off to your mother all the skills you learned in the kitchen since the last holiday season. The hardest part of this whole dish can be done by the two shakes of a lamb's tail. First, start by pulling out the old yet surprisingly reliable slow cooker and place your (much cheaper) fluffy red meat. Then, add your shallots, pears, and ¼ cup of orange juice, and a ¼ cup of pomegranate juice. (If you're lucky, then you may choose the right pomegranate, and maybe Hades will whisk you away before you have to suffer through mandatory socializing with the political uncle.) Cook on low for 6-8 hours. Let it cool down, then enjoy your unconventional main course for this year's Thanksgiving feast, which will make the husbands question what holiday it is.