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Have you ever wondered about the technicalities of consent? While that will not be covered in this article, Lily will at least discuss consent. So you're kind of in the right place!
consent
consent
By Lily Elfrink
By Lily Elfrink
Consent. Many of you probably know what this is, or at least think you do, but (believe it or not) there is also an uncomfortable number of people who do not understand the nuances and specifications of ✨consent.✨ In this article, I shall do my very best to educate the uneducated on the important and slippery subject of giving permission freely. I will focus on the part that people seem to have the most difficulty with-- respecting the answer you will undoubtedly receive.
(Image: Mahroh Jahangiri)
The idea of consent can be confusing, I know, but when you get the hang of it, it is quite simple. Here’s an example:
“Hey, do you want a cookie? I just made a batch.”
“Oh, no thank you. I just ate.”
“That’s alright!!”
See? We just practiced consent together. Easy-peasy, lemon squeezy. Now for your homework: I want you to ask a friend or family member a similar question, and respect their answer. That's the most vital part. No point in forcing a cookie down someone's throat now.
(image: Feminist Chatter
Planned Parenthood said it best: “Sexual consent is an agreement to participate in sexual activity. Before being sexual with someone, you need to know if they want to be sexual with you, too. It’s also important to be honest with your partner about what you want and don’t want.” However, the official definition of consent is “permission for something to happen or an agreement to do something.” This mysterious “something” could be almost anything. It could be kissing, or messing around, or going out to eat, or having sex, or leaving the country, or eating a souffle, or buying some cool sneakers, or using someone's voice in a documentary, or-- well, you get the gist. But here we will focus on consent surrounding more intimate acts. I feel like I should alert you early on here. Committing a sexual act without consent is considered rape or sexual harassment and that wouldn't look very good on college or job applications-- or add to your resume of “Being a Decent Human Being.” So keep that in mind.
Some of you may be thinking, “Now, why would I need to learn about consent, Lily? I know how to ask questions and not shove cookies down people's throats!!” But in 2021, a survey showed that, out of 1000 women polled, 97% of them were survivors of rape and/or sexual assault. I’m not saying this means that nobody knows what consent is, but I also think that a lot of people simply don't realize how wrong their actions are. I also think that some people just don't want to label their actions as rape. There are a lot of people who are conscious of their actions and simply do not care. This frame of mind is sick and disgusting, but that's the world we live in. According to 1in6, a non-profit organization providing information to sexual abuse survivors, one in six men has been sexually abused or harassed. According to Humboldt University, “an estimated 91% of victims of rape & sexual assault are female and 9% male. Nearly 99% of perpetrators are male.” Now, I'm not here to place the blame on men or women; all I’m saying is that these statistics are very, very high. 97%? 1 in 6 men?? Nothing about this is right, and something needs to be done.
Sexual assault and rape should not be such a taboo subject in schools. Students need to learn from a young age that no means no and that there is no “implied consent” with sex. If someone says yes once, it does not mean yes always. You cannot blame a victim’s rape on how they were dressed. Sexual harassment is just that-- sexual harassment-- and not him messing around. And certainly not her flirting. And no, you should not “be grateful you got some action.” And the phrase “boys will be boys'' needs to be completely eradicated.
(Image: CampusWell)
This article has been all over the place. If you learned anything, I AM VERY PROUD. I have not yet decided if I am proud of myself, or you, dear reader, but I am proud nonetheless. Remember, be safe out there, and ASK FOR CONSENT AND RESPECT WHATEVER ANSWER YOU RECIEVE, because I swear, if anyone who reads this article sexually harasses somebody, I’m going to do something rash. You should know that this article was also a contract, so now you legally cannot be a creep. Until next time, my dear readers!
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