Lion does not think he was alive before Eleanor. He is not even sure if he is alive now, but if not alive, certainly something of the sort. The first haze of consciousness sprouted from his feather-filled head like a dream. A girl, all brown-eyed and baby-faced, combed through his mane with hands as small and pale as daisies. Lion did not know much, but through his small, plush existence, he knew this was his person.
Every morning they would go to breakfast together. She would hop out of bed, the nightgown she was meant to grow into dropping all the way to the floor and sliding down the hallway, holding him securely by his torso, never his leg. Gentle humming vibrated from the kitchen as Mom flipped buttermilk pancakes hissing on the pan. Eleanor sat at the table with Lion in her lap, eagerly swinging her feet. Lion much preferred when she had cereal, which tended to end with less syrup in his fur, but whatever Eleanor loved, so did he. In the afternoons, the two friends would go to private schooling with Eleanor's tutor, Mr. Portman, a man with a face as wide and strong as a buffalo's. Then, when it came time for the afternoon, Lion accompanied Eleanor to the garden where they would play games or babble out secrets under the blooming hydrangea bush.
Even as Eleanor’s legs grew long enough for her feet to touch the kitchen floor during breakfast and Mr. Portman assigned her books without illustrations, Lion was always with her. Sometimes, he would question why other children stopped bringing their companions to sleepovers and birthday parties. Angie Wright’s Bear and May Robinson’s Horsie were nowhere to be found. Once in a while, as Eleanor’s back was turned, the other girls would cup their hands around their mouths and create an echo chamber of quiet, venomous words.
“Aren't we too big to be playing with toys?” May would whisper to Angie.
“Well, she doesn't talk to anyone else really,” Angie replied.
Lion wished claws would unsheathe between the slits of his knitting to defend his Eleanor, but his prayers fell upon deaf ears. Instead, Lion sat as always— silent and still at the will of others. No, Eleanor would never leave him behind as May and Angie did to their companions. They took care of one another.
Just a few weeks before Eleanor’s 10th birthday, her cheeks reddened and her throat swelled. Her silky blue sheets were thrown to the floor while sweat soaked through the mattress. Lion stayed close as always, watching over his friend as she cried for Mom and sucked her thumb-- a habit she had long outgrown. Wet, hacking coughs made the air feel disgustingly humid, but it was nothing Lion hadn’t seen before.
It only began to change when a man arrived. He brought a dark leather case with him like the one Dad used for files, but when he clicked the locks open, cold, metal tools were inside. Mom hovered at the end of Eleanor’s bed while the man examined her. Lion had gone with Eleanor to see a man like this once, but he had never come to their house before.
“See this?” The man pulled down the collar of Eleanor’s shirt to show Mom an angry rash covering her chest. “Measles. It should run its course. Just try to keep her fever down and fluids up.”
Mom nodded and escorted the doctor out, offering teas or liquors. She did everything she could to take care of Eleanor, just like Lion, but the little girl progressed quickly. Lion stayed close over the next couple of days listening to Eleanor’s stories, and when she would run out of subjects to talk about, she would make up fairy tales with brave knights and beautiful princesses. Sometimes, Lion would even be in the stories, too, those were his favorite.
A couple of days passed and the crisp summer morning shed golden light through the window. Eleanor’s fever had disappeared. Her skin felt icey against Lion’s stitching, and suddenly it was like the tundra pounding snow onto the Earth below it. They missed breakfast, but Lion could smell the sweet syrup from the kitchen. Slowly groaning, Eleanor’s door opened. Mom stood in the doorway, wordlessly mouthing Eleanor’s name. It was the last thing Lion saw before being thrown to the floor face down. A deep scream came from between the heart and stomach where Mom kept her soul. Lion hoped it wouldn't wake Eleanor.
Day turned to night, which blurred into more days and more nights. Lion had lost track of how long he was there face down on the floor, but it was longer than he had ever been alone before. He longed for someone to talk to him, for Eleanor to comb his mane and take him to the garden, to see anything but the oak floor of a bedroom. It was not as if he would give up hope. Eleanor would never leave him like this. She was not like Angie or May who abandoned their companions in crumbling brown boxes or lost them to the darkness under their beds. Eleanor would come back for him, eventually.
It felt like months before the groan of Eleanor’s door was heard again. Heavy footsteps made their way towards Lion. Lion perked up, Eleanor walked soft and silent like a ballerina, but all of the hope of seeing his girl flooded into his chest. All of that anticipation, just for large, smooth hands to grab him with all roughness and desperation. Not Lion’s Eleanor. Dad lifted Lion from the floor and held him up to his face. Lion thought he looked tired, with dark bags under his eyes and his face with much sharper angles than before. Tears rimmed his red eyes, quickly overflowing onto his grey, hollow cheeks. The plush toy looked upon him in despair. When Eleanor was sad, she would hug Lion close, sob, and talk to him about what was wrong until her eyes ran dry, but he didn’t know how to help Dad. Lion felt like crying, too. He only wanted his Eleanor. She was the only one he wanted to be comforting. Lion wished for a moment he wasn’t just plush and that all of these twisty feelings inside could flood out of his body like people can.
Suddenly, a second figure swept into the room. Mom, in an equal state of disarray, flashed her pointed teeth.
“Get rid of that.” She demanded, grabbing one of Lion's feet.
Dad pulled Lion closer to his chest, “We don't have much left, Sarah.” He spoke in all exhales.
“We cannot keep living like this. This, all of this, needs to go.” She tugged Lion further from Dad’s grasp but his grip only tightened.
“I will not erase my daughter from my life.”
"She is dead! It is time to start living again.” Mom pulled with all of her strength, a ripping sound silencing even the morning birds.
Lion watched in horror as his leg ripped from his body, fluff spilling from his soft frame. Mom and Dad met eyes, Lion watching the gaze crumple between them. He wanted to cry out for his Eleanor. She would stitch him back together and tuck him into bed while he recovered, and treat him with all the dignity in the world.
“Sarah…” Dad whispered.
Mom dropped Lion’s leg to the floor, something Lion thought to be very disrespectful. Without a moment to think any longer, Lion was crushed between the darkness of the couple’s embrace. Mom’s body went near limp as Dad worked to keep her upright. Lion felt their heavy chests take deep breaths, choking back sobs as he wondered what Mom meant by the word dead.