Love and Heartbreak

Existing Without Shadman Sakib During a Pandemic

By: Gaby Traynor

In the wake of the Coronavirus, also known as COVID-19, social distancing and isolation has become present in everyone's daily routine. This virus has made hanging out with friends, roaming the streets, and attending school virtually impossible. COVID-19 has changed the lives of everyone, even if they do not want to admit. Personally, I have found myself missing the love of my life due to this pandemic. His name is Shadman Sakib, but in my eyes he is the goldfish and Minecraft-loving light of my school life. I am blessed to see Shadman everyday during fourth period at school, either in history or English class. At this time of the day, I am usually drained due to my prior classes, yet Shadman is always able to put a smile on my face. From the first day of school, I could tell that I would fall in love with Shadman due to his bubbly and energetic personality. He has the ability to make just anyone smile even if he were not to know you personally. From that day on, I made it a priority to show Shadman how much I love him.

It started by telling him “I love you,” on a day to day basis and him replying with either “Ummm” or “Okay…” or sometimes no response at all. His reactions led me to understand that I needed to step it up a notch. After verbal appreciation clearly did not work, I turned to sitting next to him in class, cracking jokes, and starting an intriguing conversation. Slowly but surely, Shadman began to start conversations with ME, sitting next to ME, and making jokes to ME. This is when I knew we were destined to be.

However, the new spread in the Coronavirus has made every opportunity for me to communicate with Shadman, such as school, non-existent. I have made many attempts to try and reach out, like writing about him in my daily journals for history class, but he has only made one appearance. In order to get over this heart-wrenching disappearance, I have tried to make use of all this free time that quarantine has provided. I have put more effort in my studies, begun reading The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt, and have also gone on numerous bike rides. While school has been pushed back to at least May 4th, these activities may do for the time being, but who's to say what will happen as the weeks go by.