Jealousy

Second Lunch by Anonymous (February Winner)

last night i dreamt you loved me

and i couldn’t contain the relief

for she is who you write your love songs for

and i, the one who hears the drafts.

last night i dreamt you loved me,

you spilled secrets only i would know,

your confessions mine to keep.

it was over, i thought, the months i spent aching for you in silence.

last night i dreamt you loved me

and when i awoke i hugged the sheets tighter.

“take me back” i cried, “allow me to be yours once more”.

"The Bottle Beside the Bed" by Taylor Paterson (based on Ms. Dale's "crime scene")

It was a cold winter morning and I’m sitting in a chair right by the bed where she used to lay, I think to myself ‘Why? Why did I kill her?’ There could have been a better way to handle this situation but I panicked. I realized I took my jealousy too far and now she’s dead! Although I knew the drugs she was taking were going to get here soon enough, I sat there thinking over and over again how I should hide the body? How should I hide the evidence? And oh crap! How should I hide myself?! I was so nervous that I didn’t know that I had been sitting there all day but I can’t get over the fact that she’s gone. I pick up the bottle that was lying beside the bed and see how much is left, there are 5 pills left. Should I do it or not? If the police catch me I will spend my life in jail but if I do this everything will be over with. I was stressing myself out so hard I took 2 of those 5 pills and I ended up falling asleep. When I woke up my wife greeted me with breakfast! How?! Why?! What?! I was so confused. How is she here? 5 seconds later the police approached me and when I turned my head to get some explanation from my wife, she wasn’t there! I then asked why they were here. They said for killing your wife. I couldn’t believe it. I thought everything was a nightmare, but when I checked the bottle 2 of the 5 pills were missing! I started to think of the pills were messing with me or if I was still dreaming. After I snapped out of it, I tried to escape but then realized that the police had already called in backup. I didn’t know where else to go. So now I’m in jail with a life sentence. Wondering if it was even worth killing my wife, and for what? Because she cheated on me. Now Currently looking at all the tally marks I carved into the wall counting the days I’ve been in here. And I wonder everyday If I should have taken those last 3 pills to just get it done and over with so I wouldn’t be in the position that I am in today.

Cut to 5 years into the future and I’m still sitting in jail, but today I’m gonna do something, something that is dangerous for my sentence and my life, but at this point it doesn’t even matter. If I get away I can start over. I didn’t even bother coming up with a reason not to, so right there I started coming up with my ideas on how to escape. First before any planning, I carved a sharp tool which took forever but I thought “so is my sentence if I don’t get out of here”. There wasn’t much stuff in the cell to make a sharp tool. I found some old wood that fell off a bench a couple months back. I took that and started rubbing it against the wall, it made this horrible noise like nails on a chalkboard. The guards found me making my weapon and took my tool away. Little did they know I was going to use this as a backup plan. Some things in the cell were hard to take apart so I didn’t have many options because this place is literally a prison but I took my chair and threw it against the wall which caused it to break. It startled me as well as a few other inmates and guards. Once I got the leg off the chair I began to sand it down which was much more quiet. I tried to make it look less suspicious. It took a while to sand it down for it to look like a thick needle. After I was finished, there was still a very noticeable mark in the walls but it didn’t matter. Now I just need to decide how I’m gonna break out. I decided to sleep on it and hopefully in the morning I will come up with some good ideas. Finally in the middle of the night I had woken up with the perfect plan, although it’s simple I figured I would wait til lunch, and have my buddy create a distraction as I sneak out of a window. A couple months back there was a horrible storm which knocked down a tree which broke a window. People must’ve heard the window break, but no one knew which one it was. I walked past it one day and never told anyone as I realized it would be the perfect escape. I was really surprised no one found it. Although the window is on the third level and very high, I will just have to suck it up. I thought it would be easy since I survived 5 years in prison so far. The next morning I went over the plan with my buddy in the cell next to me. I was surprised when he said he didn’t want to come to break out of here with me. I guess he didn’t want to risk getting a longer sentence but I didn’t mind because it would have been more work. By the time lunch arrived my nerves started to get to me. My stomach started aching when I saw all the prisoners getting in line for lunch and guards all around. It clicked in my mind that this is actually happening. I decided to sit down and to get myself together and not look suspicious. I began to notice that the chatter was loud, but the voices inside my head were louder. I had to be tough to do this. Halfway through lunch, I gave him a signal, which was a tap on the nose to show it was time for him to create a distraction of some sort. He said he would think of something so I wasn’t sure if I would be able to escape, so the nerves came creeping back. Right as he stood up a random fight broke out, when everyone realized who was in the fight all the guards ran over because someone always ends up getting stabbed in here. I thought to myself I shouldn’t stand around, so I ran up to the third level. My heart was thumping so loud my ears popped and my legs became weak. I stopped for a second to get myself together and right as I was turning the corner a guard was walking right towards me. Crap! I ran the opposite way and found another to escape. I looked back and he was right behind me! I could tell he was getting closer by the sound of his footsteps. I found a separate stairwell to another hallway, I checked to see if he was still following and I lost him. He ended up turning the other way. I had to go back up the stairs and be extra cautious. I was surprised I wasn’t out of breath but I guess it’s because I’m so focused on escaping or maybe it was the adrenaline. I got to the window and realized how far down it was and began to rethink If I should go through with this plan or not. I was looking around and I found some bricks that were sticking out of the wall. So I was basically rock climbing my way down. When I got to the second floor and there was a window, which looked directly into the lunchroom, the fight was still going on! I just decided to let go and jump before anyone realized I was gone. I landed and it definitely felt like I broke a bone or 2 in my leg or knee, I can’t tell, but it hurts like hell. I had to suck it up even though it felt like if I moved even an inch, my leg would snap in half but the adrenaline overpowered my pain. I began to run so fast, while I was running I passed something that caught my eye, it was the house. The house that I was restrained in and taken to jail, the house that had my worst days in, and worst of all the house that I killed my wife in. I regret it every day and regret the fact that I was resorting to drugs to fix my problem. I hadn’t realized I had zoned out and not paying attention. I backed up off the sidewalk and Boom! I laid there in the middle of the street like roadkill. I try to wrap my head around what just happened. I knew I needed to leave before someone catches me and turns me in. I tried to stand up but my vision and hearing were all blurry, I was stumbling in the street. There were people trying to touch me and talk to me but I couldn’t hear anything. I might be in shock or knocked out pretty hard. They tried to get me a blanket but I just wanted to get away. Until I dropped on the side of the road. I woke up with a burning sensation on my forehead. The paramedics said I was coming in and out of consciousness. I was quickly rushed into the ambulance, and I knew I was going to die soon. I began to realize that maybe none of it was worth it, and I took everything too far. So I laid there in the ambulance with the paramedics trying to revive me but I think it was too late. I closed my eyes one last time and that was the last thing I saw.