Residence Life provides references materials with critical information that can enable a Resident Assistant to confidently fulfill their responsibilities. The following section of the RA manual offers useful knowledge that can empower student leaders to faithfully and uniquely lead their communities. This section is less of a step-by-step procedure and more of a toolbox of references for leaders to use as needed.
Delegation plays a crucial role in any solid leadership style because when you delegate you are teaching others to lead as well. If you hoard all the responsibility, you rob others of opportunities to develop. Delegating is also a great way to increase student involvement and commitment. Once a person has responsibility for some piece of program or project, they will often get involved and become enthusiastic about what is going on. Besides, if you do everything, you will probably burn out.
How to delegate:
Divide the work into logical pieces or steps and decide what others can do.
Select and approach the proper person(s) based on skills, potential, and workload.
Communicate clear expectations, responsibilities, and deadlines. Let people know all they need to know at the beginning. Be up-front with the amount of time involved, and make sure they know what they are getting into.
Get a firm commitment.
Check back with the person(s). Delegation doesn’t mean you dump a job on someone and forget about them. Monitor their progress without being overly controlling. Coach the person but try to let them do the work. Checking back also decreases the risk of the job not being completed. It is a good idea to set up checkpoints when you first delegate.
Give them appropriate praise and reward for finishing the task. Encouragement, praise and reward can go a long way.
When you do delegate, display confidence that they can do it. Be willing to delegate both the appealing and less appealing tasks and try to give challenging assignments that will provide growth and interest.
Time Management
Perhaps the most important thing you can do to best manage your time is create priorities. Set a vision for yourself this year of who you want to be. Develop objectives, set goals, and stick to them. As an RA you will need to prioritize your time to be able to care well for yourself so that you can faithfully engage your academics, RA responsibilities, and personal life.
Self-Care
Self-care and wellness are important in the role of residence life staff member. We want you to thrive in your life and this does not happen without some intentional and strategic planning on your part. During your training throughout the year, you’ll be given opportunities to learn how to thrive as a residence life staff member.
Burnout
There are realistic job pressures and organizational factors that contribute to RA burnout. For example, you have to live a “fishbowl” existence under constant peer scrutiny. You are on the alert for crisis intervention, maintain long hours in contact with students, often experience role ambiguity, and are expected to confront your peers. Beyond these external causal factors of RA burnout, RAs may also partially inflict it on themselves. Some specific self-defeating behaviors that may perpetuate burnout include the inability to say “no,” resistance to self-examination, over scheduling, ignoring personal needs, perfectionism, and excessive worry, lack of confidence, disorganization, and excessive attempts to please others.
As RAs continue in the burnout syndrome, they fail to take action to change these defeating behaviors. The workload increases and they feel immobilized as they wait for the system, their residents, RD/AC, parents or friends to “give them a break.” Throughout your experience as an RA you will be given opportunities to reflect on and implement strategies for preventing and overcoming burnout. In life, it is common that your commitments (work, family life, friends, school) will “demand” from you more than you can “give”. It is your responsibility to learn how to balance your needs with the needs of others, and set appropriate limits regarding what you can do, so that you only make commitments you can keep. Your RD/AC is here to help you think through time management and self-care.
The relationship between the RA and your supervisor is a vital one. A trusting relationship must be developed in order to facilitate open communication, a good working relationship and an enjoyable year together!
The RD/AC can be a tremendous support to you. Your supervisor can serve as a resource person, listening ear for problems and ideas, a teacher, fellow learner, and an advisor. You will be provided with guidance, direction, support and encouragement, and help setting your own limits in the staff position.
Supervisor must be aware of situations or problems that exist within your community. The RA & RD/AC should have a good mutual understanding of the types of problems or violations that an RA may handle alone. However, there are some situations that occur that the RA must discuss with supervisor. A few examples are:
People missing from the Residence Hall
Stealing
Violations of policies that have a disciplinary response
Signs of emotional stress or difficulty
Abuse (physical, sexual, etc)
Health concerns
In any situation regarding the well-being of a student or questionable behavior, the RA must discuss the concern with your supervisor in order to obtain help in dealing with it. The RA and RD/AC can then work together to find the best way to handle the situation.
You will meet with your supervisor regularly to touch base and give time for information, conversation, and support. This time also allows your supervisor a chance to give feedback and leadership as to how RAs may be better able to serve their residents. Your supervisor will not be regularly available to you in the evenings and weekends, but there is always a Res Life professional staff member on-call, so if something urgent arises on evenings or weekends, you will call the person on-call which is always the same number. That person will be on campus and can offer you support right away. When you call the on-call number, you will almost always document the situation via our report system and talk with your RD/AC about what happened the following day.
Constructive feedback regarding job performance is central to the effectiveness and satisfaction of a staff as a team and as individuals. Feedback that outlines strengths, accomplishments, and areas of responsibility needing improvement can assist staff members in recognizing their successes and progress as well as stimulate further growth. One-on-ones between RAs and RDs/ACs will include ongoing feedback.
Things to discuss with your RD/AC:
What did you do this week that contributed to creating community in your living area?
Who have you not had a meaningful interaction with yet?
Who do you not know at least 3 significant things about yet?
What did you learn this week?
What was the most rewarding thing you did this week?
What maintenance/building services concerns do you have?
How are the residents on your hall doing? Any problems/concerns? (room changes, roommate conflicts, behavioral concerns, etc.)
How’s your relationship with hall leaders who live on your floor?
How your RD and other campus resources assist you?
What staff concerns do you have?
You were hired as an RA because the professional Residence Life staff values who you are and sees great strength in your ability to lead your peers. As an RA, you are held to a high standard of conduct and entrusted with great responsibilities. In the event that there are concerns about job fulfillment or personal conduct, you can expect the following RA accountability steps will be taken.
Verbal warning from supervisor
Written warning from supervisor
Meeting with Director of Residence Life & probationary period
Removal from role
Note: At any point in time, due to the severity of an RA’s infraction, Residence Life reserves the right to immediately remove someone from the RA role. Also, these steps are outside any college disciplinary actions.
Community development is the process of building on the collective strengths and needs of residents, working together to form expectations and guidelines, with the intent to shape the environment. The RA plays many roles in the community development process.
Role Model
The RA displays a personal commitment to community.
Coach
The RA “recruits” all residents and gives attention to those who might slip through the cracks.
Advisor
The RA encourages residents to take responsibility and does not do everything for them.
Teacher
The RA fosters learning through doing and encouraging use of plans. The RA challenges residents to be open to new ideas and to think creatively. The RA supports a variety of working and leadership styles. The RA offers clarification of purpose and procedure. The RA exhibits an understanding of “the big picture.”
At the beginning of the year, the RA provides direction and motivation for community development. This is a continuous, ongoing process. As the year progresses and residents take a more active role in their living environment, the RA responsibility shifts. Guidance and recognition, however, are integral to continued success. Community does not just happen; it takes commitment and effort by community staff and residents.
You’ll get started with shaping your community by utilizing the following best practices:
● Inclusion -- be purposeful in how you build an inclusive community as you plan programs, cast vision and engage in community life.
● Door Signs should reflect the community theme for the year and also something unique to the hall.
● Bulletin Boards should reflect the community theme, provide activities information, etc.
● Signs should emphasize that the area belongs to the residents. Use positive language.
● Communication – provide information on a consistent basis. Set up a regular means of communicating, such as a hall newsletter, email, or posting place.
● Enthusiasm – talk it up! Your attitude toward building community can be the best form of advertising. Encourage involvement.
● Structured Fun – if residents have the opportunity to get to know you and each other, they will be better able to work together.
● Floor Identity – use a particular characteristic of your hall to your advantage.
● Role Modeling – show an interest in community development. Be proactive and involved.
● Encouragement – recognize the smallest achievement and encourage your residents.
As you read earlier, community is not an end – it is a constantly evolving process that requires some maintenance to stay healthy. You play as much of a role as your residents in maintaining that community. Some ways to keep community:
● Trust- Encourage trust, demonstrate trust, and earn the trust of others
● Energy – Pace yourself to keep up with the many things going on in your life. Devote some of your energy to the community you’ve worked so hard to create.
● Responsibility – Be prepared to carry out what you have agreed to, whether that is to plan an activity or adhere to the Floor Vision.
● Consistency – Treat every member of the community with the same respect and consideration, even though you will naturally connect with some residents over others.
To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept.
Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their true selves. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even to dare to be silent with you.
From Bread for the Journey by Henri Nouwen
In your RA role, you will have many opportunities to practice good listening skills. Below are a few examples:
Conflict resolution
Mental health and safety concerns
Discerning when to refer a student
Faithfully pursuing your residents through one-on-ones
You will receive training and practice opportunities during RA training to build upon your listening skills, but here are a few key reminders for how to be a good listener:
Be present. For someone to be heard, they need their listener to be present with them in the conversation. Distractions like TV, cell phones and other people are more obvious, but we can also get distracted my our own thoughts, to-do lists, or desire to have the best response. Practicing things like mindfulness and self-care empower us to be present in our daily living.
Develop rapport. As you engage with someone, find ways to connect and build trust in the conversation.
Come from a position of not knowing. Allow the person sharing with you to be the expert in their own experiences.
Express empathy. Use open and engaged body language, and be mindful of things like your tone of voice and eye contact. As you listen, ask clarifying questions and make affirming statements to show the person that you are staying with them and are trying to empathize with their experience.
Don’t fix the situation or the person. One of the quickest ways to close someone off who really needs help or feels frustrated is to listen to them with the intent of fixing them or their problems. It is never your role to be the fixer as an RA. We expect that you will walk with people and empower them as they develop and grow.
Don’t start a question with “Why..?” because this tends to cause the resident to feel as if they have to defend themselves against you or explain themselves to you. If you are curious about the “why” of something, say “tell me more about…” or “I’m sure you have some good reasons for xyz, can you talk me through your line of thinking?”
When your resident finishes talking to you, our hope is that they feel empowered, heard and that they matter to you. Throughout the year you will have countless opportunities to hone these skills. Be open to receiving feedback, failing and growing. Listening skills that you develop and strengthen during your leadership will follow you the rest of your life in work and personal relationships.
As an RA, you will foster a community on your floor or in your apartment area. At times, your job will include programming and confronting policy violations and being a connector or resource person. We hope that with a consistent and trustworthy presence you might also be the first point of contact for a student who finds themselves in the midst of difficulty. It might be a crisis-like situation, or it might be a vulnerable conversation that a student needs to have. Whatever the reason for the emotional distress, we will help you develop skills that guard your trustworthiness, build your empathy and help you stay balanced and healthy in the midst of being “a helper.”
Here are few ways you can foster being an approachable and trustworthy RA:
Be available and consistent in your RA responsibilities. If you say you will do something or be somewhere, try your best to fulfill a commitment. Work hard to know each of your residents. Some residents you will know only on a surface level, but many residents you will get to know on a much deeper level throughout the year.
Never talk to residents about another resident. Respect confidentiality.
Use the space in your room, your own body language, tone of voice and daily interactions to communicate genuine care and interest.
When a student approaches you with vulnerable conversation, keep the following in mind:
Use active listening.
Do not make promises about confidentiality if the student’s safety is in jeopardy. (in danger of harming self or others or having experienced any assault). Do help explain that you will share this information only with your RD/AC and that it will be handled with respect and care as we seek to keep the individual and our great community safe.
If a student expresses that they are a threat to themselves or to others, utilize QPR training (See your QPR training booklet or the brief summary from RA manual).
Do not fall into the trap of trying to fix your resident. Empathy is a powerful form of helping someone find their own strength.
Be knowledgeable of campus resources and refer when appropriate (see Campus Resource Guide in RA Manual).
Always make referrals in a manner that respects and does not patronize or dismiss a resident’s concerns. Listen to the student and offer empathy for at least 20 minutes before making a referral to a campus resource, so the student doesn’t feel that you are “passing them off” to someone else because you don’t want to deal with their problem. When someone is open to a referral, it can be most helpful when you walk a student to an office or assist them in calling to make the appointment.
Conflict is part of authentic relationships with other people. How we learn to navigate conflict helps us to develop important coping skills. As an RA you will have residents look to you for guidance in navigating their roommate conflict. During RA training you will receive information about how to do this well. You will also keep your RD/AC apprised of any ongoing roommate conflicts, and your RD/AC will assist you in addressing concerns.
Becoming Aware of Roommate Conflict
It is likely that one roommate will approach you to share about the roommate conflict. Here are a few tips to keep in mind as you are first learning about a conflict:
Use active listening and help the individual feel heard.
Do not take sides. Rather reflect the frustrations you are hearing.
Ask the resident how they are hoping you can help them, and clarify what you can and cannot do.
For example, if the resident states, “I want you to find me a new roommate.” You can help clarify your role in the situation by stating, “It sounds like this conflict has made you so frustrated you want a new roommate. This situation is hard, and I look forward to helping you and your roommate begin to talk through your concerns and work toward strengthening your relationship. I don’t have the ability to make rooms changes, but I can work with you to help understand the conflict and see what paths we have going forward.”
Another common response might be, “Please don’t tell my roommate I talked to you.” In this situation, your goal can be to help empower the resident to take steps to bring the conflict up with their roommate. It is important to listen for ways the student might feel helpless or hopeless. Empowering someone to see what they can do can go a long way in helping them to take ownership and feel like they know what they want/need and how to work toward achieving it.
Remain confidential.
Speak to your RD/AC about how to help this roommate pair.
In most situations, the best case scenarios will be to speak with the other roommate and work toward a roommate mediation conversation. Talking through the situation with your RD/AC will assist you in creating a clear plan for how to move forward in helping your residents navigate conflict in the healthiest way. In some situations, your RD/AC will become more involved and in other situations you may handle the conflict. No matter what, you are never alone and have the full support of your supervisor.
If a Roommate Mediation is decided to be the best plan of action moving forward, then following these steps as you prepare to mediate the conflict:
Make sure you have heard both sides of the story beforehand (see back).
Seek guidance and support from your RD/AC. Depending upon your comfort level and the complexity of the situation, your RD/AC may join you in the mediations.
Agree on a mutual time for the entire group to get together. Schedule a set time frame (30-45 minutes). Open-ended meetings usually end up being longer and less productive.
When you get together, bring along the Roommate Agreement they completed the first week of school (if one was not completed, work through one before the meeting is over).
Explain the ground rules: use I statements, no name-calling, no discounting what the other says, no interrupting, and no judgmental reactions. Explain your role in the process.
Rephrase, paraphrase, and summarize to make sure all parties involved understand each other. Ask each person, “What is the problem as YOU see it?” and then summarize, and ask “Does that sound right?” to each person. This will help to clarify the problem. Summarize each roommate’s perspective in a way that clarifies the situation for both sides.
Listen well. Let them both get their full story heard. Acknowledge their feelings as valid, normal. “Sounds like you’re feeling frustrated…that’s okay. You’re definitely not the only roommates having problems…”
DO NOT TAKE SIDES! OBJECTIVITY IS PARAMOUNT! This means that you should never become the decision maker. Never side with one person and against the other. Never defend one person’s point of view. When necessary, you may ask questions for clarification or feedback about your perceptions, not to devalue one person’s position, but to bring attention of both parties what was said. Sit in a neutral place. Give both roommates eye contact. Pay attention to your non-verbal expressions.
Encourage each roommate to paraphrase and summarize each other, so you can confirm that they understood and listened to what the other person said (and the other person will feel that their roommate has listened to and understood them)
Encourage the roommates to talk to each other, not to you. If they start to talk to you, stop them and redirect their comments to the roommate.
Help them set Goals and Generate Solutions.
Ask each of them “What would you like to see happen?”
Try to help them find common ground or a common goal. “It sounds like you both want to feel comfortable in your room and have open communication.”
Identify what each of them really want and ask them to give specific ideas on how they might achieve those things. “It sounds like Juan really wants to be able to have a quiet place to study and Sam really wants to be able to have fun and socialize. Those are both good things. What are some ways that both of those things could happen?”
Have them generate several creative options before they commit to one.
You may have to get the ball rolling by suggesting a few things. Suggest in the form of a question. Ex. “How would each of you feel about Angelica using the desk lamp instead of the main light while Jane is trying to sleep?”
Employ a win-win strategy. When possible, employ this strategy to resolve conflicts. It is almost always possible that each person can walk away feeling as though they have won at least part of the conflict.
Re-work the Roommate Agreement once the two residents have agreed on a way forward. You may need to ask your RD/AC for a new agreement sheet, if several changes are made. You may need to use a blank sheet of paper, if the conflicts in question are not listed on the Roommate Agreement. Have each roommate date and sign the new agreement.
Do not escalate conflicts by involving more people than necessary. Resolve conflicts at the lowest possible level between individuals who are directly involved. When too many people are involved, people become concerned with maintaining loyalties and saving face. Too often things are said for the benefit of others, which are counterproductive to the conflict being resolved.
Remind the roommates not to talk behind one another’s backs, especially to suitemates or others on the floor.
Follow up with the students a few days after the mediation to see how things are going.
Discontinue at any point if the discussion becomes too heated (Then follow up the next day with a request for a new appointment).