Once when delivering a speech, Jim Carrey -Yes, the “guy from Dumb & Dumber”- said that his father could’ve been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him. So he made a conservative choice and got a safe job as an accountant. And when Jim Carrey was 12 years old his father was let go from that same safe job, and that his family had to do whatever they could to survive.

If there’s one key takeaway from this, it’s that you can FAIL at the things you don’t want to do, so you might as well take a chance at doing what you LOVE.

Good Morning Abernathy House, my name is Luke Jovanovic and I’d like to seize this opportunity to shed light on something that dwells in the shadows within all of us, and it’s called “expectations”. There are expectations from our parents, from school, work, society and often the most overshadowed of them all, our own expectations.

Now this wouldn’t quite be a good speech if I didn’t make reference to William Shakespeare, would it? He said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” 

The average human makes around 35,000 decisions a day. Now, are you making those decisions because that’s intrinsically what YOU want to do, or are you merely serving the expectations of others?

As little children, we are told that we have to be no less than a doctor, lawyer or engineer, however the creativity, passion and true desire of that little child lives on. As we get older, and start shaping our lives to fit the expectations of our parents and school, that inner child lives within us screaming to be heard, and for every action and decision we make to conform to earthly expectations, it is like taping the mouth shut of our truly passionate inner child.

In other words, deep down we know what it is that we truly LOVE. We have goals to be writers, scientists, sportsmen, teachers, yet we are held back from what it is that our hearts truly desire because we choose to be shackled by the expectations of others, while they have also been held back from their passion.

Now I am no motivational guru, but it doesn’t take one to know that it would be an absolute shame for anyone to be blessed with the gift of life, and to spend it trying to live a life for someone else.

So LIVE IT, and remember, before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you expect, accept. Before you pray, forgive. Before you hurt, feel. Before you hate, love. Before you quit, try, and Before you die, live.

Say no to external validation. In a world where external approval often holds great significance, I urge each and every one of you to prioritize your own intrinsic worth and resist the need for constant validation from others. True confidence is knowing that you alone are enough.

As humans, we are wired to seek approval from others. We crave likes and followers on social media. We often seek validation from our peers, teachers and even strangers. Relying solely on external approval can be detrimental to our self-esteem and will hinder our personal growth.

Have you ever been excited when receiving a text from a girl you like? Even more excited when you are receiving constant responses? The excitement you experience is the release of dopamine into your system every time she texts you. It can become addicting. How does it feel when suddenly she doesn’t reply? You feel uneasy and will maybe start to overthink the situation. That is an example of external validation cravings.

When we constantly seek validation from others, we become dependent on their opinions to determine our self-worth. Our happiness and self-esteem become dependent on external factors. This is concerning as external factors are continuously changing. We end up in a cycle where we seek external validation, are disappointed and feel anxious because we have not been validated and then we continue to seek more.

I challenge each one of you to break free from this cycle and prioritize your own internal validation. Embrace your unique qualities, talents, and abilities, and learn to appreciate and accept yourself as you are. Your worth is not defined by the number of likes or followers you have, the grades you receive, or the opinions of others.

If you live for people’s acceptance, you will die from their rejection.

Boys are not men.

We often talk about raising young men and you often say that you can’t wait to be an adult or that you want to be treated like a man and I’ve recently been thinking a lot about what it means to be a man. This is because, as the father of a daughter, I am the first example of a man that she will ever know. Her opinions of what a man is and how man behaves will be formed by me first. From me, she will learn:

• How a man looks after his own physical and mental health

• How a man looks after his family

• How a man speaks and behaves (differently) when he is with his friends

• How a man treats those who are weaker or less fortunate than himself

• How a man acts when he is angry

• How a man should treat a woman

This is a daunting task, because I know she is constantly watching me and every experience she has, forms part of her opinion of what a man is and this will form the basis for how she expects other men to treat her for the rest of her life.

None of you have this responsibility at the moment, but there are a number of misconceptions about men that I have picked up on in my conversations with boys in my class, the SNIA and my squash teams:

• Boys all want to be as big and shredded as the influencers they see on Instagram; men are physically capable and take good care of their physical and mental health.

• Boys think that all women should look like the influencers they see on Instagram; men understand the pressure this places on women and appreciate a woman who is happy and healthy.

• Boys think that you cannot show emotion ever; men know that there is a time and place for everything.

• Boys brag about the number of women they’ve been with; men know that the quality of the woman they love is all that matters.

• Boys talk about how hot a girl is; men praise women for their intelligence, strength, wit and independence.

• Boys drink as much as they can; men know their limits and stop before they embarrass themselves and those around them.

• Boys brag about how much they can drink; men know how to enjoy a good drink with good company.

• Boys think that problems are solved with violence; men communicate, accept their own flaws and those of others and learn to get along with people they disagree with.

• Boys think that money, drinking, smoking and having sex makes them a man; men know that taking responsibility for your actions and making a positive difference in the world around you is what matters.

• Boys think that looking like you don’t care is cool, whether it’s dressing like a homeless person, not participating in group activities or not trying in the classroom; men take pride in looking after themselves and those around them. 

• Boys look for people to do their work for them, men take pride in being independent and doing things themselves.

• Boys look for someone to blame, men take responsibility for their actions and accept their consequences.

I encourage each one of you to have a look at the men in your life, the influencers you follow and see how their values align with your own.

Finally, men make peace with the fact that they are not perfect and never will be, but always strive to be a better person today than they were yesterday.