Conflict Resolution Tools

🤝 Conflict Resolution Tools

Solve problems peacefully. Feel heard. Work together.

Everyone has conflict sometimes—it’s totally normal. What matters most is how we handle it. This page gives you tools to solve problems in a calm, respectful way so you can get back to learning and having fun.

💡 What Is Conflict?

A conflict happens when people disagree, feel hurt, or have different wants or needs. It can be with a friend, classmate, sibling, or even an adult. It’s okay to feel upset—it’s not okay to hurt others or ourselves when we’re upset.

🛠️ Conflict Resolution Tools & Steps

Here are steps you can use to solve a problem with another person:

Stay calm – Take deep breaths or count to 10 before you respond.
Use “I” Statements – Share how you feel without blaming:
“I felt __ when __. I need __.”
Listen to Understand – Let the other person talk without interrupting.
Repeat Back What You Heard – Show you're listening:
“So you felt __ because __?”
Work Together on a Solution –
“What can we both do to make this better?”
Ask for Help If Needed – Sometimes you need a trusted adult to help.

🗣️ Words You Can Use to Solve Conflicts

Sometimes you just need the right words. Try:

“Can we talk about what happened?”
“I felt left out and it made me sad.”
“Let’s try to fix this together.”
“Next time, can we do it differently?”
“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”
“Let’s come up with a plan.”

🧠 Conflict & Zones of Regulation

Conflicts can push us out of the Green Zone, and that’s okay—it happens!

Zone : Blue

Conflict : Sad after losing a game

Resolution : Talk to a friend, ask for a hug, deep breathing

Zone : Green

Conflict : Calm and ready to talk

Resolution : Use I-statements, find a solution

Zone : Yellow

Conflict : Frustrated with a classmate

Resolution : Take a break, use a calming strategy

Zone : Red

Conflict : Yelling or refusing to talk

Resolution : Ask for help, use your Calm Corner, take deep breaths first

Use the Zones language to explain where you are and what you need to cool down and solve the problem.

🌟 Leader in Me Conflict Tools

Use your 7 Habits to be a strong leader—even during conflict:

Habit 1: Be Proactive – You control how you respond.
Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind – Think about how you want it to end (calm, friends again).
Habit 3: Put First Things First – Solving problems peacefully is important!
Habit 4: Think Win-Win – Look for a solution that works for everyone.
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood – Listen before you talk.
Habit 6: Synergize – Work together, not against each other.

🧰 In-Class Conflict Tools

Try these if you’re having a problem during school:

Use an “I” Message Card
Partner Talk Script:
“I felt ___ when ___. Can we try ___ next time?”
Apology Note or Drawing
Classroom Break Spot – Ask to take a few minutes before talking it out
Teacher-Led Conflict Mediation – Ask for help solving a problem respectfully

📚 Books That Teach Conflict Resolution

Here are some books that help kids understand and handle conflicts better:

Howard B. Wigglebottom Learns It’s OK to Back Away by Howard Binkow
Enemy Pie by Derek Munson
What If Everybody Did That? by Ellen Javernick
Don’t Squeal Unless It’s a Big Deal by Jeanie Franz Ransom
Tease Monster: A Book About Teasing vs. Bullying by Julia Cook
I Can Work It Out by Shona Innes
We Can Get Along by Lauren Murphy Payne
Llama Llama Time to Share by Anna Dewdney

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