Friends with Convenience

I’ve walked too far in this life 

To understand the reason

why people come back, 

Thinking that since they’ve shed their leaves 

And started planting new seeds 

Are means to be involved in my next season 

Because it’s always when you’re good and ready 

To grace me with your face 

When you’ve realized the people you can lean on 

Can only be counted on one hand 

So you take mine to wipe away all the things  

you can’t erase. 

I cannot keep coming to find you 

During every blue moon 

Where my heart opens without question 

But yours stays closed, gated for confession 

And I wonder if this is a lesson for me too 

I cannot keep randomly giving you my attention

Wrapping my motherly arms around you in protection

When it’s convenient for your redemption 

Because every time you intend to change 

I sit, waiting for someone who will never be the same

I cannot keep wondering

If I’ll ever be able to give you the glance 

The up and down eyes that just you and I shared

I know that the gushing I kept saving  

For just your ears to hear, 

is not worth my lost tears because

When will I learn that people aren’t as sincere?

Because the silence, and your absence 

is loud and clear 

I lose so many hours in a day  

Having the kind of patience it takes 

For you to put in some effort 

to be better 

But my head still hurts 

deciding if treating you the way you treat me,

is the backwards treatment you deserve?

Because I know I did not spend so much time 

Searching blindly for my worth 

I know I did not spend so much time,

desperately trying to survive on this feeble Earth,

and falling into many cycles of the moon; 

Just for people like you 

To make me feel used.

So I hope you find someone 

Who will let you cry on their shoulder 

when you’ve grown older.

When you’ve planted your new seeds and they don’t grow, 

So when you need it

I cannot keep pretending 

That this friendship is convenient 

for me, too.

About the Author

Daijah Patton is a senior English/Creative Writing major, minor in Secondary Education and she has been writing poetry since she was in middle school. Poetry has been an amazing outlet for her, and she loves to share it with others by spreading awareness about important topics, and sharing her own personal stories. In her free time you will find Daijah either cooking/baking, reading several works of fiction and poetry, and telling you what Netflix or streaming TV Shows and movies to watch.