2019-2020

2019 sep-dec

Advocacy Interview

The following is an interview I held with my cousin and public health advocate, Jasmin Smith. 

How did you become an advocate, was there a specific catalyst or was it a gradual process? 

- I'm a public health major at Lasalle University. One of my public health courses required that I did volunteer hours at a program of our choice. We have to do at least 10 visits during the semester. The program I chose was Pheed Philly. Pheed Philly is a program at La Salle University that allows students to go to different communities to help prepare meals for the people at their local community center. I felt that this was such an awesome program and a way to give back to different communities. After taking this course, I became more involved so I continued to work in Pheed Philly. 

Did you experience any personal fears, doubts or dangers? 

- In the beginning, I did have doubts if this program I choose was for me because I know I am not that social. While working in Pheed Philly, one of my fears was being more social with the people in the communities. The people in different communities were nice people that want to engage with the students. Every time I went it got a little easier to get overcome my fear of being shy. 

Did you face any obstacles internally and/or from external structures? 

-The obstacles that I faced were actually controlling my emotions while listening to people’s stories about the struggles they endured in their lives. While I am listening to them, it made me realize that these are public health issues. There are barriers people face in the urban community such as how many people can't afford food for their kids, how people have lost their jobs and housing, and how people do not have access to healthcare. 

What were the outcomes? How did what you advocated to change their lives and/or the lives of others? 

-Pheed Philly is an awesome program where I help the people in the community get a checkup, talk to a social worker, supply food, clothing, and childcare. This has had such a positive effect on me because it made me realize how fortunate I am and it made me want to do more to help others in need. Pheed Philly impacts people’s lives in these communities. The community is grateful for what the community center and Pheed Philly do for them. The people working in this program show them acts of kindness and take the time to just listen to them. 

I find Jasmin’s experience with public health to be quite inspiring, I never really knew or thought about it before talking with her. It’s a noble calling that actually improves communities, instead of profiting off of them like so many professions in health and other industries. I love that it helps struggling citizens and calls health professionals and the government to do something about it. This career gives communities a voice and hope for change. This is another encouragement for me to somehow do the same with my career. I hope to entertain and inspire with my writing and help others get their work published. 

I was able to identify with Jasmin’s shyness. I have social anxieties myself and understand how difficult it can be to reach out to others. Even if you are trying to help them, you are cautious in what you say and do to prevent getting hurt. The combination of the visible trials of race and the invisible struggles with mental ailments can be maddening. Racists will never help and the majority ignorant to your tendencies will think you are crazy, lazy, or stupid. Perhaps public health can even help the mentally ill by supporting them and offering assistance in managing their symptoms. 

I would very much like to advocate for things like mental health, housing, job satisfaction, and justice and equality. These are crucial topics I continue to want for myself and others. If housing conditions are detestable, it can be extremely challenging to achieve balance in other areas of life. One cannot operate without a base. It can also feel like torture having to work a hated job. This is truer if it does not even pay a living wage. Besides, if your heart is not into something, you are probably better off without it. I have always believed that everyone should get what they deserve. Arrogance holds society back. 

This interview has reminded me of the importance of community. Even though we are inclined to look out for ourselves and our loved ones, our communities can often provide free or cheap assistance that our government should but does not. As much as I dislike being social with strangers, it may end up being beneficial for everyone to communicate, understand each other, and put an end to non-progressive, negative, and arrogant ways of thinking. As an English major, I hope to bring awareness to problems and opportunities in our world. With a creative writing concentration, I aim to entertain and make viewers think.

An American Musical

If you’re wondering: How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean by providence, impoverished, in squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar? I have the answer. In fact, I got to experience the answer a few weeks ago in Philadelphia’s Forrest Theatre. It was surreal being in there. The first time I had ever been to a real theatre to see a real Broadway show. When we sat down the stage had already been masterfully set and the crowd was speaking loudly with anticipation. I thought I was going to cry during the opening song because of the sheer joy of being there but it took eleven songs for the realization to set in that I was actually seeing this musical live.

I learned a lot that night and I want to share some of that knowledge with you. There are ten things you need to know:

Number One: There is no greater joy than singing along to words you’ve memorized with a group of your closest friends. We all loved this musical for so long that being able to experience it together was magical and breathtaking. 

Number Two: Hamilton is eloquent and expertly written. Even if you hate musicals, can’t stand history, or flat out despise America and its Founding Fathers, there’s an appreciation for Lin Manuel Miranda’s rhyming skills. In summary: “Catch a bullet in the neck in Quebec.” 

Number Three: If you’re emotional like me, always bring tissues. Thank god for my mom reminding me to throw a travel pack in my bag the night before I went. Many, many, tears were shed by the four of us that night. 

Number Four: The performers were all incredible, but the men who doubled as John Laurens/Phillip and Lafayette/Jefferson were huge standouts for me. Although the woman playing Peggy/Maria had insane vocals too. 

Number Five: It’s crazy to think about the orchestra below the stage playing the music throughout the entire show. The stage crew was outstanding with the sounds and lighting and literally every single aspect of the behind the scenes work. They never get enough credit for the hard work they do every single night. 

Number Six: If you didn’t know, Hamilton’s story is told through hip hop and rap. I read somewhere that if Hamilton was sung like any other musical it would take four to six hours to perform. Instead, Lin is able to tell the life story of Alexander Hamiltonin just two hours because of how quickly the songs move. 

Number Seven: “Guns and Ships” is the fastest rap on Broadway, and you bet I sang that whole song under my breath while I was there. I’ll never forget coming home to my roommate last spring who was listening to the soundtrack with a friend. I joined them in the kitchen and when “Guns and Ships” started playing, I immediately launched into the first verse, no hesitation. To quote Angelica, I’ll never forget the first time I saw her face while I rapped it.  

Number Eight: It’s subtitled “An American Musical” which holds true. Hamilton is the American Dream. An immigrant who is able to rise up, get the job done, and leave behind a lasting, impactful legacy. Except, before Hamilton the Musical his story wasn’t really being told. How many facts can you name about our American born Founding Fathers? Washington’s wooden teeth, for example, and Ben Franklin’s key and a kite. Now, there are so many people who know Hamilton’s story and will sing about it. 

Number Nine: Another point about it being An American Musical. The casting is always diverse because America is more than old, white men. Seeing a multiracial cast playing key players in the founding of America really makes you think with a whole different perspective. Hamilton celebrates diversity and makes it clear that diversity is American and always has been. 

Number Ten: If you truly what to know why Hamilton writes like he was running out of time, you should take a listen to Lin Manuel Miranda’s beautiful musical. You’ll find out about the wildly stupid things he wrote about (the Reynolds Pamphlet) and the legacy he left behind (planting seeds in a garden he never got to see). 

If you have the opportunity to go see Hamilton while it’s playing, whether it be in its short run in Philadelphia or if you’d rather visit the greatest city in the world, according to the Schuyler sisters, New York City to see it, I cannot recommend it enough.

Fall Into Fall

I tend to be a person who is always jazzed to move on to the next thing and with summer ending and fall swooping in there are so many exciting things that come with the season!

First of all, we must address the classics of fall which is anything and everything that has to do with Halloween… and various plant picking. If you are one for aesthetic photo shoots and a not at all terrifying experience, I’d head on down to Hellerick’s Family Farm. The farm is perfect for pumpkin picking, hayrides, a corn maze, and the perfect setting for some golden hour photos amongst the sunflowers. And to top it off if you go between 7 and 9 pm you get to make s’mores around a bonfire before you leave! Now if a non-scary farm isn’t your speed I’d probably go to Heap’s Haunted Corn Maze because it looks super spooky and its a farm with pumpkins to pick as well.

If you’re not into farms at all and want a haunted or scary activity to do there are plenty of things to do around Philadelphia and Glenside. Such as the Eastern State Penitentiary, Fright Factory, and the Philadelphia Zoo. The Eastern State Penitentiary kind of frightens me on its own but with the added attraction of a haunted house aspect, it gets even creepier. What’s more terrifying than things lurking in the dark where there’s a dark history?

If you would prefer a budget scary experience I would honestly recommend going on Netflix, or any streaming service and streaming a scary movie. Titles like In the Tall Grass, Veronica, and American Psycho are all available to stream. However, if you don’t have access to these streaming services you can go to the Great Room on October 11th for The Lion King and we all know that movie is horrifying because of the tragedy that occurs with Mufasa… still too soon? 

There is also the exciting prospect of sitting around and telling ghost stories, real or fake. I fell for one of the most generic ghost stories last year when I was talking to some people I had just met in the Heinz Lounge. It's a fun way to get spooked and see how creative everyone can get. 

I almost forgot! Arcadia gives ghost tours! The Society of Castle Restoration gives fun and amazing ghost tours! That’s just one thing I’m itching to do this October because I love knowing the history of where I am but I am told it is not a tour for the faint of heart. Some things are better left unknown, especially if the ghost stories take place where you currently live. 

Okay, okay, enough with the spooky, though that is my favorite part of fall, by far. Other fun things that go on in and around our wonderful and spooky university is Midnight Bingo! I’m tempted to be selfish and just not tell you what fun it is but… it is a very exciting activity. The prizes are usually killer and no one cares what you wear, how you look, or anything really except winning and prizes. It can get a little competitive but, if you like your chances of winning and the thrill of competition, I would head over!

What do college students like more than free food? Money, probably, but besides that, I can’t think of much. So I’d advise if you appreciate free food to head to the Great Room between 4 and 6 on October 18th for Global Food Fest to learn about the different cultural backgrounds of Arcadia along with tasting food from around the world.

This is more ideas than I usually come up with for things to do, honestly, I think I’ve given you enough to do for all of fall, if you do one thing every weekend, at least for October. Not to mention all the fun things to do for November and December like eating, making food, decorating… I love the last three months of the year because of all the wonderful Holidays.

In Defense of White Girl Fall™

Yesterday I went apple picking. A few days before that, I carved a pumpkin, and a few days before that I went to the supermarket specifically for a jar of pumpkin spice. Apple cider runs through my veins and there’s basically an orchard in my kitchen. I wore a sweater on an 80 degree day just because it’s October. The only part of fall in which I will never partake is the pumpkin spiced latte, but that is through no fault of the pumpkin spice.

But I digress; this post has nothing to do with ways to fill your fall calendars. If it’s activities you’re after, take a look at Erica’s insightful post just above.

This post is actually in defense of White Girl Fall™. It’s an appreciation of the flannels and bonfires and booties that fill your Instagram feeds and the back of your brains because you’ve rolled your eyes so far back they’re stuck.

The real truth of the matter is that we need them as much as they need crunchy leaves and cinnamon to sprinkle on themselves like Snapchat filters.

Chances are that if you hate White Girl Fall™, you also hate other holidays like Christmas and Valentine’s Day. While I’m not trying to suggest that White Girl Fall™ is, in fact, a holiday, it is a lifestyle that prevents the onslaught of all those other holidays. Stores will sell what the people want, and even though we don’t think so, the people want Christmas things in November. The reason why we don’t want Christmas in October is because of White Girl Fall™. They’ve carved out a time in which it’s commercially acceptable to celebrate the season we’re actually in! That use of “carved” is no accident.

And the only reason it can even be called White Girl Fall™ is because they’re the only ones who are loud and proud about it. Imagine the kind of seasonal damage we could inflict if the rest of the population embraced White Girl Fall™ with so much vigor. At that point, we’d just be celebrating Fall, and Christmas would have to wait until December the way it was meant to.

So the next time your boyfriend or girlfriend or roommate or second cousin twice removed invites you along for their autumnal activities, don’t think of it as submission to just one more White Girl Fall™. You’re joining a movement that’s larger than them. If we want to restore Fall to its rightful 80 day reign across September, October, and November, then we must flock to the orchards in droves. We must demand pumpkin spice even though we might want peppermint. We must carve pumpkins until no pumpkin is left without a face. 

The fate of our seasons depends on it.

Hey Hey! Ho Ho! Rape Culture Has Got To Go!

About a month ago, I had the incredible opportunity of going to and participating in my third March To End Rape Culture. The March To End Rape Culture is an annual event that typically takes place on the last Saturday in September in Center City at the Thomas Paine Plaza. It goes from late morning to mid-afternoon. We first gather at the plaza where you are greeted with pop music about women empowerment. There is always some form of a big dance party happening in the center of it all. There are booths throughout the plaza that are in support of different organizations. They also always have a therapy/counseling tent where you can go and talk to somebody if at any point in time you get triggered by the topics. Before the march begins, they have a few key speakers who tell stories, poems, even play music and dance. The event is the most inclusive and welcoming place for everybody. 

Across the street, unfortunately, we are counterprotested by the Westboro Baptist Church. For those of you who don’t know about the Westboro Baptist Church, they are a religious organization who spew hateful language and tell everyone that they are going to Hell for anything you can think of. They protest the march every year. They typically are protesting right on the plaza and invading our safe space, but because they had so much backlash the past few years, they were all the way on the other side of the street with their own protest. The creator of the event told us that this was the first year in about five years that they weren’t in the same space as us, which is a huge accomplishment. 

After we hear from the speakers and their stories, we start on our walk. We walk all throughout Rittenhouse Square. It is about a two/three mile walk in total. We go all the way around City Hall and basically go in a big circle that leads us back to the Thomas Paine Plaza. The walking is the most empowering part. It’s made up of hundreds of people together shouting together chanting about ending rape culture and dismantling the patriarchy. Many of us have signs and posters with anti-rape culture slogans. It’s so much fun while walking also because everyone comes out of their stores and restaurants to watch us and cheer us on. We get a lot of support from the community during the march and it’s just incredibly uplifting and powerful. 

As we get to the end of the march and gather back in the plaza, we are met with more uplifting music that makes you want to dance again. There’s more speakers at this point. There’s also always a big dance group that does a performance and some form of live music. There are points during the event that get pretty emotional and difficult to be a part of, but the majority of the day is about strength and empowerment. 

I’ve met a lot of my friends from participating in the march and have learned so much about feminism and the harsh realities of rape culture. It’s also a great opportunity to get into Philadelphia and be in the city. Being in Glenside, I find it difficult to find extra time to get into the city and really spend a good amount of time there. It’s an experience that I really recommend everyone go to at least once. It’s definitely a bit overwhelming at points in my opinion, but it’s also electrifying and just a lot of fun. I absolutely recommend it to anyone who is looking for something different and eye opening.

A Magical Tradition

Every year, deep in the suburbs of Philadelphia, in a small place known as Germantown, a bit of magic touches the streets for a few days.

Okay―maybe not real magic, but it’s close enough.

For those of us who grew up with the adventures of Harry, Ron, and Hermione, we know all about finding magic in our everyday lives―whether it’s in the excitement of a conversation with someone who has a similar passion as you do or just curling up on the couch with a mug of hot chocolate and leafing through the pages of a book you’ve read a hundred times over. Magic can be found anywhere. This is something I thoroughly believe.

When I first started at Arcadia, I didn’t know anyone. As most freshmen do, I jumped at the chance to make a new friend whenever someone started a conversation with me. When someone invited me to do something, I rarely ever turned down the opportunity. So when one of my new friends living across the hall from me in my new dorm invited me to go to the local Harry Potter festival, I certainly couldn’t refuse. The Chestnut Hill Harry Potter Festival, now known as Witches & Wizards Weekend, has been a long standing tradition that takes place along the adorable streets of Germantown. It’s 2 days filled with readings from the beloved books, people wandering around dressed up as the characters, lots of games, and of course, lots of butterbeer.

I’m now a senior and have kept up with the tradition of attending this magical event for all 4 years of my college experience. I have never regretted it. I still go with the same friend that invited me freshman year, though many others have joined our group, and our costumes get more and more detailed every year. I’m a proud Ravenclaw, as are most of our friends, but we do have a few Gryffindors and Slytherins who slipped into the group over the years! Not only is this a fantastic and fun weekend break from college but the entire festival is a wonderful reminder of the incredible community created from a series of books. Everyone is constantly in character and quoting their favorite lines. Everyone is kind and welcoming. You can start a conversation with almost anyone there about the books or movies and know that they’ll understand what you mean. Even when my friends and I have gotten overly busy with college life and thesis projects, we still found the time to step back and bring out our childhood wonder for this magical weekend.

If you’re a Harry Potter fan and looking for something to do, I definitely recommend checking out the Witches & Wizards weekend held in Chestnut Hill every October!

To Do or Not To Do?

Senior year, the time most students either dread or mark on their calendars with a giant exclamation point. There are so many things to be excited about in regards to graduating. For the first time I’ll get to experience more freedom than I’ve ever had to do what I want, I’ll get to try out different careers and see what I like, and most importantly I won’t have homework anymore. I daydream about what I’m going to do with all of this free time I’ll have available. Yet there’s a cloud in the back of mind that hovers closer at the thought of graduation. 

More often than not you hear about students and their fear of graduating. They’re worried about getting a job, paying off their loans, and just “adulting” in general. While I certainly feel a level of fear about the unknown, I’m one of the lucky ones who thinks they have some grasp of what comes after. The melancholy is what gets to me. 

What do I mean by melancholy? I mean that I’m suddenly realizing all of the chances college gave me to experience new things and how many of those I may never get to have again. Now, this isn’t to say that I haven’t tried to make the most of my college experience. I’m part of a Latin dance club learning to bellydance, I’m in the chamber orchestra as concertmaster, and obviously I’m on the staff of Quiddity. Yet when I look back, there are so many things I’ve missed out on for one reason or another. 

This became apparent several weeks ago during the Global Field Study kick-off. For the past year I have been working to save up to go on the month-long trip to Ireland. That goal was the only thing getting me through the retail environment of the UPS Store where I worked. Yet when the time came to finally pull the trigger and make the deposit to secure myself in the course, I was suddenly faced with an awful dilemma. I could go to Ireland or I could put the several thousand I saved towards a lump-sum payment towards my loans. 

A war raged in my mind that kept me up for days. The practical side kept telling me that making a loan payment would be the responsible thing to do since that much debt is a lot to start life off with, and yet I kept dreaming of what a month in Ireland working on my writing would be like. Of course, my practical side also had to be a traitor occasionally, telling me that this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that I’ll never have again which made it all the more confusing and difficult. I can spoil the story for you and tell you that I put that deposit in to go to Ireland. 

This decision has taught me a really important lesson that I wish I had learned earlier in college. Take advantage of every opportunity you can. I know this is cliche and you hear this all the time from recruiters and orientation leaders, but speaking from experience I can tell you that it is so vitally true. With my remaining semester I’m determined to try and grab every opportunity I can, whether that’s going to a workshop or getting another internship or even going to a random, fun event that I’ve never been to before. You never know when you’re going to have the chance to play bubble soccer or perform in an orchestral group or choreograph a dance performance. 

It’s never too late to start. If I can do it, so can you. Take the opportunities as they present themselves. Now go forth and experience something new!

I Adopted a Kitten

This summer was one of the hardest of my life. I lost one of my best friends in the world to

suicide. I was in the worst place mentally that I had ever been. I was crying every day, I developed panic disorder. I mentioned that I was struggling to a friend and he suggested a therapy cat. Once that idea was in my mind, I wouldn't let it go. I needed a cat.

When my friend Luis’s cat had kittens, I knew that one of them was meant to be mine. I asked him if there were any males, since my boyfriend's mother frequently fosters cats and informed me that males tended to be more cuddly, which is what I wanted. There was only one. And so, he became my kitten! Luis lives in New York, so I drove 3.5 hours each way to pick up my little guy. I named him Pompeii, after my late friend’s favorite Cage the Elephant song. And I became a kitten mom, much to the disappointment of my family.

Pompeii just turned six months old, and I don’t regret a single thing. I love him to pieces. However, since adopting him, I have learned several things about caring for a kitten. 

One, I’ve learned never to leave him near paper, because he likes to chew it. All of it. Including my thesis print-outs. And the napkins on the kitchen table. And every roll of toilet paper in the apartment.

I once accidentally left bagels in a bag where he could reach it. He took a bite out of every single one. The little weirdo didn’t even eat one, he just chewed through the plastic and took a bite out of each individual bagel. 

I gave him a little pillow with catnip in it, a gift from my Nana. He tore it to shreds and left cotton all over my floor. Recently, he has decided he really likes my roommate's hat with a pompom on it and likes to drag it onto my face while I'm trying to sleep. 

Occasionally I take baths, you know, self-care. He tries to drink the bath water every time. And if I ever try to lock him out of the bathroom, he screams outside until I either leave or let him in. Also, if I leave his line of sight, he gets upset and screams. If I’m doing something, he has to be with me. Or he will scream and put his tiny little claws under the door.

But despite all of this, I love him. He’s a stinky little bastard child, but I wouldn’t have him any other way. We cuddle every night and he greets me when I get home from class. All jokes aside, we are very attached to each other. His shenanigans have gotten me through one of the worst times of my life. He might be trouble, but he’s mine.

If you would like to pet my cat during finals week, contact me at froman@arcadia.edu. I need

people to play with him so he will stop stomping all over my keyboard while I’m writing my thesis.

The Struggle is Real

It’s that time in the semester. You realize that you have a ton of work left to do or you actually only have a couple of assignments that are lengthy. I personally often make a list and in my head I exaggerate how large the assignments may be. When in all reality, the assignments may be easy, but a little time‐consuming. Or they may seem time‐consuming, but they aren’t. It is what drives me to procrastinate, besides the fact that my time at Arcadia is coming to an end. Quite quickly I may add. I personally blame Thanksgiving for being late and causing me to go into a slight shut down mode. After the break, there is only 1 week of classes left and then finals. Just like that my college days will be over and I will be adulting for the rest of my life. Not to mention that everyone keeps pointing out that it’s 50 years or more of pure work ahead. I don’t mind working. I actually tend to enjoy it because I feel productive and like I’m going somewhere. Yet, I am super nervous about it. 

I will be graduating a semester earlier than I had originally planned in my freshman year. I’m glad to be doing so, but also a little unhappy about it. Spring is when all the senior activities are occurring and I will be making special trips back to Arcadia to enjoy some of them. But I will also be saving money by not having that extra semester and get a job in my career field sooner. Arcadia has been my home away from home. The place where I have learned more about who I am and what my capabilities are. I continued to grow and become more active in school events. I was able to get my voice heard thanks to the wonderful English courses that made participation in discussions a huge factor in the overall grade. I figured out that I wanted to go down the marketing path in business. Arcadia became my safe zone and the place where I could go for help. This place also pushed me to go outside of my comfort zone too and I wouldn’t be the person who I am today without them encouraging me to try. I wouldn’t be dancing in the Knight Club show if it weren’t for me being pushed to try new things. And let me tell you, I am no dancer, but I got through my first show with nerves and anxiety. Once I got on the stage, I felt calm‒ish. That is just one of my last hoorahs for my last semester of college. 

I am nervous about graduating. I’m even a little scared. I know though that I am as prepared as I can be. I have plenty more to learn, especially for any job that I get in marketing. I have more adulting skills and life lessons to learn, but I know I will be fine with those. In college we learn to manage our time, even with procrastination. Life has thrown things my way that I never anticipated or had planned to handle. I suppose I want to say that take it all in. Every moment at college and it is okay to be scared about the future. It’s unknowing and even with plans, be prepared for anything to happen. My plan to have a job in my career field to be lined up for when I graduate isn’t quite there yet. I have a back-up plan because those student loans aren’t gonna pay themselves, but it’s not my original plan. College has not gone according to plan at all‒well besides finding a roommate who I can be best friends with and hang out without either of us getting super sick of each other. (That wasn’t planned either, just hope that came through.) No matter what though, keep your head up and keep going. You got whatever is gonna be thrown at you, even finals.

2020 jan-may

There and Back Again

November of my freshman year of college there was a room at the end of my dorm hall that everyone spent their free time in. The door was always propped open, and someone was always inside. I was there more nights than I wasn’t. One night in November I went by twice, leaving six people watching the news at eight, and returning at ten to find just two still watching the votes count up on the 2016 election. A few weeks later when I visited my parents, they were discussing leaving the country, to emigrate to Iceland. They’d planned to take my younger sister, if they decided to go. I marched in the women’s march that year, I went to pride for the first time, I looked into getting a foreign passport. 

    This summer I drove with my partner from Pennsylvania to Colorado and back again in three weeks. I promised myself I would talk to people on the trip, to baristas, servers, camp site administrators, AirBNB hosts, anyone who would have a conversation. I wanted, and still want, to understand the country that I often feel would prefer I be anyone but me. I wanted to meet the people who think I’m going to hell for being queer, the ones who believe I have no right to birth control, the people who carry a gun to Walmart, and I wanted to understand them. 

    At our first stop in Roanoke Virginia, we stayed a night with a woman named Minor. She had made the quilt on the bed in her spare room for her husband when they were still dating. It was bright and warm and heavy. I slept better under that blanket than any other night on the trip. 

    In St. Louis Missouri, we got dinner at a takeout Italian restaurant that couldn’t have been bigger than my one bedroom apartment’s living room. It had three staff members, all of whom were born and raised in St. Louis, and none of whom had any intention of leaving. When they asked why anyone would ever want to drive across the country just for the hell of it, I told them I wanted to understand things better. They liked that answer. That night there was another couple staying in our AirBNB. They were traveling to see their daughter graduate college, but weren’t sure they’d beat the flooding river on their way out in the morning. 

    The next day, we stopped for barbecue in Kansas City, on the line between Kansas and Missouri. In the time it took us to eat, the township sheriff came in, bought a jar of the sauce being bottled by the middle schooler behind the counter, and received and paid for a plate of food without ever ordering. He wore a hat like a Canadian mountie, and knew the boy behind the counter was starting high school next year. 

    Our first multi-night stop was in Omaha Nebraska. We stayed with a man who introduced us to His Roommate the way you introduced your middle school crush to your father as Just Your Friend. We told him we were going to Denver, he told us he moved there after high school. He said, “You two will love it so much, you’ll never want to leave.”

    In North Platte we found a campground run by a woman who lived there full time from May to October. When she saw our licence plate, she said “You two are far from home.” it was neither the first nor the last time we heard that. We passed the middle point of the US somewhere between Omaha and her backyard. 

    In Denver I was in charge of finding our AirBNB, which, to the host’s credit, did appear legitimate from my phone’s screen. When we got there, we had to fish the spare key out of a toolbox full of rusty nails. The door stuck. Inside, it smelled like the basement of my grandmother’s house on Long Island, before her kids moved her out, back when it was a hoarder’s nest. On the counter was a cup of bent and burnt spoons. Above the TV a box of syringes from CVS. On the table a bottle of isopropyl. I found heroin in his top cabinet drawer. We left, in a hurry, and stayed somewhere else. 

    The replacement BNB reminded me of a hostel I stayed at in Japan. The host was a middle aged Jamaican woman who nearly cried when I folded her laundry so I could use her dryer. She let us smoke in her yard. While I folded, a couple in the living room fought in Spanish about whether or not to force their teenage sons to have a movie night. I can only assume they assumed I didn’t speak spanish. 

    On our return trip I talked to even fewer people than on the way out. My partner found us a campsite at lake Meredith outside Amarillo, Texas where I didn’t talk to anyone. We got there at 3pm and watched the sun drop slowly behind storm clouds so overwhelming they made me consider that god might, in fact, exist. Who am I to pretend I know?

    In Oklahoma we slept in my car for the second time on that trip, before going on to camp in Arkansas in a forest that could have been from Lord of The Rings. The park ranger we paid for our campsite wasn’t much older than us. He told us which sites were within range of the wifi. We didn’t see him again before we left.

    Two stops from home, we passed through St. Louis again to satisfy my undying need to see their city museum. A few miles out of town we stopped to get gas, pulling into a station off a rural interstate. Before we got to the pump my partner noticed there were far more people there than could reasonably be getting gas by coincidence. Most were men, teenage to adult, and almost every man there had a gun. We left.

    In St. Louis, at the museum, we spoke with students from the local college who ran Beatnik Bob’s, the cafe bar on the third floor. They invited us to participate in some of their installation art, decorating the fort-like space adjacent to the cafe. Later, outside on the giant slides running from the third floor to the first, one of the attendants hit on both me and my partner in one fell swoop. We traded Instagram handles. 

    Our last stop was with a friend of mine in Pittsburgh, someone I hadn’t seen in years. In the morning, we stopped at a coffee shop I remembered from another trip we took the year before. The barista told me I should be a hairdresser, that she wished she knew how to do hair so she could do hers red like mine. 

    By the time we got home I hadn’t answered the questions I left with. Instead, I learned this: people are kind, and people are human. When you can’t understand someone, or the way they do something, it’s not their fault, and it’s not yours either. That doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. Nobody comes to be who they are, or believe what they do without good reason. Try to examine your own path next time you can’t follow someone else's. If that fails, try driving across the country. It can’t hurt. 

Interview with Robert Rubin

I am the youngest grandchild of Robert (Bob) Rubin, who is a 95-year-old World War II veteran who served from 1942 to 1946. He was born and raised in Philadelphia with his eight older siblings, by Jewish-Russian parents who immigrated to Ellis Island. Following the war, Bob attended Temple University on a GI bill to obtain his degree in education. At Temple, he met his beloved wife, Barbara, and they were married for 69 years. The interview took place in my home in Montgomeryville, PA, on January 22, 2020. 

Interviewer: Tell me how you ended up in the war, what years you fought, where you served, and what branch/unit you were in. 

Bob: Okay. In 1942 they passed a law, that permitted drafting young men. You couldn’t say “no” once you were drafted. So I was drafted at the age of 19 on April 21st, 1942, and went to Indiana for basic training. After about 6 months, we went to a camp on the east coast to await the old Queen Mary ship, which had been remodeled to hold a lot of soldiers. 

Interviewer: What unit were you in? 

Bob: The army unit I was in was called Headquarters 12th Port, attached to the 1st Army 

Interviewer: When did you actually leave America to start fighting in the war? 

Bob: So on Christmas day 1942, we boarded the Queen Mary, about 30,000 of us, and set sail for great Britain. It was a scary trip, because there were no lights on. The ship was kept completely dark because of the U-boats. The Germans had so many U-boats torpedo-ing American ships that were trying to bring supplies. Since there were so many soldiers on board Queen Mary, they took every precaution to keep us safe. So we sailed down to London. 

Interviewer: And what happened when you got to Europe? What did you see? 

Bob: Well, our position was, once the early waves of soldiers of D-day felt the beach-head was safe, then we were to come in to feed them and supply them with ammunition. That was our mission. 

Interviewer: You ended up in France eventually, correct? 

Bob: Well yes. So after about a week in London was when we got word that we could head to the beach front in France and start setting up the trucks to feed the troops. 

Interviewer: What was it like when you got to the beach, just 7 days after D-day? 

Bob: When I got to the beach, they were still cleaning up bodies. Oh bodies everywhere. Even a week later there were still so many. What happened was, the 101st airborne division, was told by Ike that they had to go early in the morning, fly over the channel to France, over the high-ridge where the German soldiers were manning machine guns, and they were to take them out, so that the first waves of the army would have a safe arrival on the beach. What happened was it was a very cloudy day. And the helicopters carrying the 101st flew too far in, and many of them got caught in trees or captured by Germans. So that was a bad mistake that permitted too many soldiers to be killed. 

Interviewer: Did you ever see any of the concentration camps? (We are Jewish, so this question was particularly interesting for me to hear his answer to.) 

Bob: Yeah. That was later in the war though. First, we hiked all the way to St. Lo. St. Lo is a city in France, and there the soldiers were able to rest up, eat, nap, and recuperate. We stayed there for a while, because there was no rush. But after a few months, it was time to continue on front St. Lo to Belgium. On the way to Belgium, we got an order to “dig in.” 

Interviewer: What does that mean? 

Bob: You dig a foxhole, and you stay in it, so you don’t get shot. To protect yourself. Evidently Hitler has decided as a last resort, to send a Panzer division, to push the soldiers back to the channel. So we were told a Panzer division was on its way and to remain in a foxhole. And sure enough the division of German tanks came through, and their goal was to push the soldiers into the water, like they did to the British. But it didn’t happen. Because the 8th Airforce was also stationed in England, and they came to assist. They sent B-24s, medium sized bombers and they did such a great job. They dropped their bombs right on tanks and you could see the Germans coming out with their hands up. And then they became prisoners of course. 

Interviewer: Wow, that sounds like quite the battle. Were you there to see all of this happen? The Panzer division, the B-24s, the Germans surrendering? 

Bob: Oh yeah, yeah. It was quite something. Now, we took them back to France where we had somewhere to hold prisoners, but we didn’t kill them, we didn’t shoot them. Now that was the Battle of the Bulge. 

Interviewer: When did you make your way to the camps? 

Bob: Well at this point we had taken down Hitler’s last resort. So we could head towards Germany and towards the camps. We didn’t go into Germany because Russia had that part, but when we got to the Western border the concentration camp prisoners came in those outfits that looked like pajamas, and they were given choices between ships to Israel, even though is was really Palestine at that point, or ships to America. 

Interviewer: What was it like to see these people? What interactions did you have with them? 

Bob: I didn’t really do much here except to talk to them occasionally. They were so excited, so happy, so grateful. The sight was frightening though. You’ve never seen such thin people before. 

Interviewer: So you got to speak to some of them directly? 

Bob: Yes I got to talk to them. We fed them too. And you know as a Jew it was just terrible to see. But I was happy we were able to put smiles on their faces. 

Interviewer: Was there a lot of death at the camps at the point when you got there? 

Bob: Extreme numbers of dead bodies. More than you could imagine. 

Interviewer: When did you get out of the war? 

Bob: 1946. I was 23 then. 

Interviewer: Do you think that being in the war changed you at all? 

Bob: I don’t know, at age 19 or 20 you know, you’re so young you don’t know too much. You havn’t lived long enough. I don’t think I was aware of the scope of this thing and how big it was. You see we were living through it, not looking back on it like we do now. So I was just doing my job like a lot of other young 19-year-olds. I needed to serve my time so I could go to college for free, and at the time I didn’t think much of it. But now of course I know it was a big part of history. 

Interviewer: Well thank you so much for doing this interview with me, I really appreciate it. 

Bob: Oh sure.

Homesick

Homesick. It’s a word we hear a lot, it’s why people go home from college on the weekends to hug their mothers and pet their dogs. You’d have to be insane to leave that security right off the bat, bite the bullet and move across the country to a state where you know no one. That would be my biggest hurdle right now. Leaving the Seattle area to come to Arcadia was easily the most impactful decision of my high school career. I had lived my whole conscious life in the same small town about 45 minutes away from the space needle. My whole world was weekend trips to Portland and adventures in the city. Study dates after school in the library, coffee runs at 7 pm that led to the constant strung out caffeine haze that got me and my friends through high school. Pretty much everyone I knew was going to a west coast college. UW, Western and CWU were commonplace in our conversations. Until of course they ground to a halt when one aspiring idiot would say “you guys have to fly out and see me in Philly” and listen to the crickets chirp.

Going from seeing the same 9 people on a daily basis to being surrounded by strangers for the first time in my life was jarring to say the least. It was terrifying of course, but ended up being exactly what I needed. Growing up in the same place with the same people is lovely. It gives a strong sense of stability and self, but that might’ve worked a little too well. By the time I graduated high school I was so stuck in the idea of who I should be that I didn’t even know which way was up. Because of the lack of new people and places in my life I hadn’t been able to grow in the ways I maybe should’ve. Granted I chose to quit my safe little life cold turkey, but the sentiment stands. Coming to Pennsylvania was the dawn of a new era for me. 

The concept of reinventing yourself when you get to college is not a new one, but it is an essential one. What do you do if you feel trapped in who you are? Change it. I showed up to freshman orientation with blue hair and a whole lot of determination to be myself, unencumbered by the stale reputations that have followed me since I was 13 and I got that bad haircut. I thought to myself, “well this is it. I can keep quiet and see how it goes or I can take the risk, put my personality out there, see what sticks and possibly be the happiest I’ve ever been”. I had already taken the huge cross country risk, why stop then?

That crazy transition happened last year and still has me reeling. The majority of the most important people in my life are a plane ride and a 3 hour time difference away, but I’m feeling better than I ever have. However scary this still foreign new place is to me and however much I miss the west coast, the ways Pennsylvania has helped me grow into my own are countless.

Book Review

I have never written a book review but this book requires one. The novel “I’m Thinking of Ending Things”, written by Iain Reid, is the quickest read of a book I have ever read. Every time I picked up the book, I had no intention of putting it down. As a commuter who takes a lengthy subway trip, reading books on the subway makes the time go by way faster. Unfortunately for me, it only took me two subway trips to finish this book.

Iain Reid’s debut novel is a psychological thriller/horror novel with suspense on every page. It is one of the stranger novels I have ever read and it is also very hard to discuss it without spoiling anything really. The beginning of the book is an introduction to the characters and then it just unravels from there. Once you finish the book, you will have to take a moment and just realize what just happened at the end, yes, it’s that crazy of an ending. When I finished the book on the subway, I closed the book, looked around the subway and at all of the other people on it and just said “What?” aloud. I got a few glances from the other commuters but I did not care at all, for I just read the strangest books of my reading career. It took some time for me to figure out what actually happened at the end of the novel. A few forums later on the ending, I understood what had happened.

When you read this book, which I highly suggest you do, do not be afraid to read forums after you have finished it. You may pick up on some things that you did not catch while reading it. I know I did not discuss the novel much in this blog but I just need whoever is reading this, to go out and “I’m Thinking of Ending Things” and then you will understand why I did not explain more. Happy reading and I hope you enjoy the novel!

In Conversation with Angel Rodriguez, February 14, 2020-Arcadia University, the Library

1. In conversation about Going to Community College

Claire: So on the recording I have to ask you if this is okay to be recording. 

Angel: Yeah that’s fine, I consent. 

Claire: Okay awesome, So Angel, What’s your last name?

Angel: Rodriguez 

Claire: Okay cool, let’s start with where you’re from?

Angel: Dominican Republic

Claire: And how long have you lived here?

Angel: About 8 years

Claire: How old were you when you moved here?

Angel: Hmm 17, almost 18

Claire: So were you finishing high school?

Angel: No I didn’t do high school over here, I went to college, well there’s a program, I used to live in New York, and there’s a program that is called Clip, that is about English immersion, English as a second language. Basically I did a couple of semesters there and then I moved to New Jersey. In New Jersey I did an associate degree in English and liberal arts. Then I moved here and I applied for Arcadia and this is my second semester here. 

Claire: Okay and what made you decide to continue school after getting your associates?

Angel: I guess opportunity, because I’m the first one from my family to go to college, or at least to complete an associate, yea so I feel proud to say that and I like writing, writing poetry very much. Basically that’s why, that’s my passion, that’s why I go to school. 

Claire: Yea! So what’s your major here?

Angel: Creative Writing with a minor in Philosophy. 

And what about you?

Claire: I’m a global media major and a french minor. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do for a while, but in the U.S. when you’re in high school and you’re getting towards the end, everything is about what college you’re going to. People are always asking what four year university you want to go to, you know community college is not very encouraged, or doing anything else isn’t encouraged. But I didn’t really want to go to a four year university right away because they’re really expensive and I didn’t know what I wanted to do yet…

Angel: Right why spend all that money!

Claire: Yea, I didn’t know yet, so I thought I might as well try some other stuff first. So I lived in Ireland for three months doing a leadership program. Then I just worked for the rest of the year, saving up money to travel more. My sister lives in Paris so I visited her, then I did a year at community college in Philadelphia and then I applied here so I'm a transfer student, I’m 21. The year I did at community college I did a program called the Honors Program, which was originally for adults re-entering college, so I really liked learning with people that were all different ages. 

Angel: Yea I would say, people from community college, like that experience has brought different kinds of people to meet, it’s amazing. I spent two years in community college…

Claire: Was that in New Jersey?

Angel: Yea it’s called Huxton county community college and basically you meet people from all over the world. I think that’s the beauty of community college.

Claire: Can you tell me more about your experience at community college… or education in general…?

Angel: Okay, so basically how I started writing, I began writing just because in the program in New York, there was a competition for New York University, a writing competition, and the professor, I actually remember, James, he told us to write something, and then I wrote a poem and he sent it in, and I was one of the winners, and basically since then, I think that’s my path, that’s my passion, I want to do writing. And that’s one of the reasons I began to study, because I said to myself, I have the talent but I probably don’t have the knowledge. And I began writing and now I'm going to college. At Huxton, it helped me to develop my English and also better communication. I ended up being, what do you call this thing when you have really good grades, good gpa…?

Claire: Uh like being in good standing?

Angel: Yes, good standing, the Dean's List, oh yes the Dean's List, I was on the Dean's list I had a very good GPA, and when I moved here, I wanted to keep studying.

2. In conversation about Languages and Education

Claire: And then, were there any teachers or professors at community college, or here, or in New York, that stood out and helped you a lot?

Angel: Yea, Professor Anderson, she’s a history professor, at the community college, and she’s African American, and African Americans have so much to say, in writing, because of the experience they have here. She encouraged me to keep going, because when you do ESL, and in community college, you feel like you’re stuck, like you’re not going to move forward…

Claire: Yea can you tell me more about that?

Angel: Yea, it’s like there’s a bar, and you don’t see it, and you just think you’re going to stay here and struggle, and I feel like for people who are learning English, or the language of any country where they want to get an education, I think the language, when they are starting, when they have a lot of studying to do to go forward, I think that’s the most difficult part. It’s not like just going to school in your home country, it’s way difficult because you don’t know if you’re doing the right things. You really have to focus on it, you don’t know if you’re right or wrong. I think that’s the most difficult part for us. 

Claire: And so what’s your first language?

Angel: Spanish

Claire: Spanish, and in class I heard you reading some French from the poem we read?

Angel: No, well it’s easy because of my Spanish…

Claire: Right they’re very similar…

Angel: Right like Italian, French, and Spanish, are easy to learn when you know one, at least in sound and pronunciation, it’s almost the same, and part of my mom’s family is from Haiti too, so I know a little bit of French.

Claire: Ah yea, I am a French minor, and this semester my French teacher is Haitian which is cool because last semester my teacher was American, this semester I have a native French speaker, which is really cool. 

3. In conversation about Writing and Modern Love

Claire: When you write, do you write for yourself or mostly for school assignments or other people?

Angel: Both, for myself, for school, for other people, like one of my poems is in the last issue of Quiddity. 

Claire: Oh yes that’s awesome!

Angel: I don’t like to say it… *is slightly bashful*

Claire: No you should say it! It’s exciting to get published even in your school's small Lit Mag.

Angel: Yea so I write for that kind of thing too. And I also write for myself, cause I feel like writing on paper is the best way to get stress out, and I do that too, I feel alive when I do that. And the good thing about writing is that you have so much to say, and that’s the only place I feel like you can produce all the emotions you want to. 

Claire: Yes! I 100% agree, I’m very into writing as well, but I mostly journal for myself, mostly just to get stress out, but I was just writing a letter for my boyfriend *laughs*.

Angel: That’s pretty cool,

Claire: Yea I was like it’s Valentine’s Day and no one writes letters anymore and I think it’s really cool to read words that are written just for you. 

Angel: Yea, I do that for my girlfriend too, cause yea it’s beautiful, and if you think about our society with our phones, people forget that kind of stuff, and maybe it’s a bit melodramatic, but it’s cool, it’s cute you know?

Claire: Yea! Like my birthday just passed and I got all these birthday wishes on my facebook and instagram, but I got maybe 3 birthday cards from older relatives, and you know I wish I got more birthday cards, it’s more sincere, I wish more people wrote down what they wanted to say. 

Angel: Right rather than just posting it on your wall.

Claire: So when you write for yourself, do you mostly write in English or Spanish? Or both?

Angel: Yea both, I do write in Spanish and English, sometimes I combine both of them. But the funny part is I know more English language rules rather than Spanish…

Claire: Right cause when you’re learning a language you have to get down all the grammar and sentence structures or it won’t make sense, It’s different when it’s your first language and you learned as a baby from the people around you. 

Angel: Yeah that's the funny part, when I write in English, it’s more correct. 

Claire: So my next question was gonna be, do you write differently when you’re writing in English and Spanish. Either the content, or how you write?

Angel: I would say when I write poetry, the sound and the rhyme in Spanish is much better, just because it’s my first language, and because I can read and write so well in Spanish, it sounds way better, especially in sound and rhyme. But in terms of content, I think English is different for me. Like I mostly write poetry in Spanish, like sad depressing, love poetry, always something about love. *laughs*

And in English I go for a lot of different topics and I play around with words more. 

4. In conversation about Cities and Culture

Claire: So how is going to school here different, or I guess it’s really different because here you’re in college…

Angel: Yea I never went to college in the Dominican Republic, just high school, but I will tell you, when I went to Huxton County Community College there were a lot of differences from Arcadia, there’s way more white people here, I don’t see as much diversity, like that was my first impression about Arcadia University. 

Claire: yes, yup.

Angel: Yea it’s interesting it was a change.

Claire: Yea it is interesting, I’ve lived in Jenkintown my whole life and it’s extremely close to Philadelphia, but it’s very white, and a lot of my peers were very sheltered and they thought Philly was so dangerous, like there’s a lot of parents, who’ll say “Be really careful when you’re going into the city” or ask me if I feel safe doing that.

Angel: Yea because it’s so different to them. 

Claire: Yea they just don’t know.

Angel: Yea, I was watching something on youtube, talking about how people push each other to get on the train in the city, and people don’t really care cause they’re in a rush and there’s a lot of people but you can’t do that here. Just the diversity of people can be really interesting.

Claire: When I start driving in the city I’m a totally different driver, you have to be ruthless driving in Philly. Yea I think life in the city can be really different, I’ve always had a bit of both, with my siblings living in the city, having friends in the city and obviously going to community college in the city, and it always felt very different from being at home in a very small, very homogeneous suburb. 

Angel: Yea! The best thing about the city though is the restaurants.

Claire: yea do you know the food trucks around Community College of Philly? There’s so many food trucks, like one for every culture and you just don’t get that around here. 

Angel: Yea, When I lived in New York I would go to so many different restaurants, like this one restaurant, the food was from Guinea, it was an African restaurant, what was interesting, is the food is so different but you get to have that culture, I go every time I visit New York. 

5. In conversation about Arcadia and Perfection

Claire: Why did you choose Arcadia, and what have you liked about it so far?

Angel: I chose it because not too many schools have the creative writing program, so because of that, but I didn’t know it was expensive honestly. But what I really like and don’t like at the same time, is the amount of homework they give you, it’s tough it’s a lot of things to keep your grades...kinda tough but at the same time it’s good because you feel like you’re working for something. And the people, I like the people, everyone is really nice, really welcoming, which is nice. At the beginning I felt weird, cause I used to go to community college, and see different kinds of people, and I felt like I didn’t belong here, but then at the same time I realized it’s just another school, with different kinds of people because of where it’s located. And I learned that, I like the system, we have parking lots, which is good, and it’s beautiful. I also like the philosophy department, because the people there are really smart.

Claire: So how many classes are you taking right now and what are they?

Angel: Three classes, Interpretive literature II, the one we have together; Editing and Publishing, and Asian Philosophy.

Claire: What has been your favorite class to take or stuff to learn about?

Angel: I would say Philosophy. We just finished reading this book, It’s about karma and reincarnation in Hinduism and it’s about how you achieve perfection, and there’s a lot of flaws in the book but yea it’s philosophy, but it’s really interesting because at least they give you a key for how to achieve perfection after death and they explain how karma works, so like we’re living in this circle of reincarnation, being reborn and reborn until you realize how we are able to escape from this cycle, and the idea is that when you realize how to leave the attachment of physical things, like you shouldn’t worry about hunger or death or any of that and that way you’re able to achieve escape. But that makes no sense, because how are you going to think that if you’re hungry, like you need food to survive...but it’s interesting. 

Claire: Do you think perfection is something we should strive for?

Angel: I would say no, I would say happiness for me is perfection, and it’s almost impossible, because you will have moments of happiness, but you won’t be totally happy in your life everyday, I would say try to achieve and enjoy those moments that you truly feel happy and try to remember those moments, and that way you will be able to live a better life.

6. In conversation about Learning and Moving Forward

Angel: Oh let me tell you this interesting fact. I know how to fix cars, not too many people know that. But the good thing is I taught myself, I got my tools and yea…

Claire: oh that’s awesome, So you’re kind of a self taught man…

Angel: Yea well I like learning

Claire: yea me too, so you got yourself into writing, you taught yourself how to work with cars, is there anything else you’ve taught yourself or learned?

Angel: I guess it’s just not being afraid, I mean what else…

Claire: Well you learned how to navigate American colleges…

Angel: Yea I learned how to snake through...haha 

Claire: I mean there’s so much shit to take care of all the time and stay on top of, it’s even hard for American kids, learning how to get through school and college is complicated. 

Angel: Yea… What about you? Is there something you learned? Something else you do?

Claire: Oh uh yea, this summer I taught myself how to use a film camera… so the older cameras that use film, they’re not digital, I bought one at a flea market...

Angel: Oh yea I like to go to those…

Claire: Yea so I bought it and I took it home and I learned how to use it, and now I’m taking a film class and which is super fun cause I’m learning how to process the film and use the darkroom…

Angel: Oh like the old fashioned way and everything!

Claire: Yes

Angel: Yea I’m a little older than you so I remember a little better when those were popular. 

Claire: Yea I’m really into photography, it’s never been the number one thing I’ve thought to go for. I want to work in sustainable fashion, right now the clothing industry is the second biggest polluter in the world behind the oil company.

Angel: Oh really wow I didn’t know that.

Claire: Yea I went to Paris to visit my sister during fashion week and had all these incredible moments, realizing I wanted to get into fashion, and then I learned that information about the pollution that week and I was kind of stuck about it. I remember being outside Virgil Abloh’s first Louis Vuitton show and it being this huge moment for the fashion industry and I just remember being really moved. So I chose Arcadia, because within the global media major you can choose a concentration, and one of the options was fashion studies, so I came here so I could take classes in a lot of areas and not just fashion designing. But yea I just wanted to have the opportunity to learn how to change the industry because it needs to change and communications and media is gonna be a huge part of that. 

Angel: Wow that’s pretty interesting, 

How long have you been studying here?

Claire: This is my second semester.

Angel: Yea I’m almost finished I just need a couple more credits, and getting into classes has been tough, because there’s lots of people who are graduating and I don’t have the same credits they do, I have been struggling with that here. So basically one of the reasons I’m minoring in Philosophy, is that, so that I can manage more classes that I want to take. 

Claire: So what do you plan to do when you finish? 

Angel: Well I don’t know...well I was thinking of doing an internship, something with video gaming, cause I like video games too and video games have storytelling, and because I’m majoring in creative writing I want to go for that. But basically my degree is something personal for me, something I'm achieving for myself.

Claire: That’s really cool, I think a lot of people only get the degree for the job they want and then they don’t end up studying all the other stuff they like learning about.

Angel: I feel like if you do whatever you like to do, if you love it, it’s going to get you money…

Claire: I agree, if you have passion for something it makes you want to work really hard. 

Angel: Yea there is an article about the 10 thousand hours rule…

Claire: Yes. I think that a lot of Americans feel like they need a college degree to be considered educated, and I don't think that's the case and it’s just so much money, but then I think, like 100-120 years ago girls didn’t go to school.

Angel: Woah that’s so true.

Claire: Yea and for you, you’re the first person in your family to do this, so I think learning is something we take for granted sometimes. 

Angel: Yea and you know at least here we have financial aid and loans and stuff because in Dominican Republic you have to pay out of your pocket and it’s expensive and with the minimum wage, you’re not going to be able to pay for school, so on those terms, I’m really grateful that I get to study over here, because I wouldn't be in school if I wasn’t here I think. 

Claire: Yea there’s so many places in the world where so many people still don’t have the opportunity to go to school…

Angel: Yea I think in a lot of countries that really affects the culture, not having education opportunities. 

Claire: Yea for sure.

On Feeling Burnt Out

As the six week mark of the spring semester passes by, I can’t help but feel a sense of dread in the air. All of my peers have expressed their unpleasant feelings at this point in the semester and it would be negligent of me to leave my own unpleasant feelings unacknowledged. From experience, I can say that the first six weeks of any semester are always the most difficult; however, this semester feels different. At 42 days in, we are all feeling burnt out. From what I have gathered, we have all seemed to taken on a little too much this time around and we don’t know how to cope with this overwhelming sense of responsibility. 

So how does one stay on top of their work while simultaneously giving themselves a break? That’s a good question. While I may not have all the answers, the one thing I can say for sure is to utilize your time wisely. I have fallen subject to Netflix binges and YouTube holes myself, but procrastinating will only make your life more difficult. Instead, use those distractions as a reward for getting work done. 

Yes we all deserve a break sometimes but being aware of your procrastination habits is the key to breaking them. I have this app called “Forest” which helps me manage my screen time in an effective and sustainable way. Essentially, it is a productivity app which allows you to earn credits by not using your phone. Each credit “plants a tree” and you can use those credits to plant real trees around the world. If by chance, you do pick up your phone, the app will give you a warning that your tree will die unless you open the app within 30 seconds. I know this technique may not work for everyone but it has helped me tremendously. 

Using the reward system for Netflix and other distractions as well as social gatherings will help you prioritize your school work and hopefully help with the overwhelming sense of dread we all feel at the six week mark. Make sure to take care of yourself and allow yourself to have a break when you do work productively. While school work is important, nothing is as important as your mental health. So take care of yourself. You deserve it.

Is Philosophy the Answer?

I am a passionate person who always pursues becoming a writer. Writing is more than just a piece of paper and a pen; it is capturing images and emotions with an original meaning. However, my first philosophy class reinforced my perception about things that, as a writer, I had already noticed but did not have an explanation for.

What are we here for? What is the meaning of life? 

These are not easy questions to answer….

The truth is that we don’t have an answer for them. These are common questions that philosophy addresses. Philosophy may be one of the subjects that most relates to reality. Through philosophy, humankind can change its perception of morality, purpose, truth, and even develop a critical thinking process. 

Philosophy has existed since ancient times and transcended with its doctrine. Some philosophical quotes that we still practice could be…

“I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them.”-John Stuart Mill

“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.”-Socrates

“The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large.” Confucius

Millions of philosophical quotes relate to life and reality and can be analyzed to look for answers, but more than looking for answers we should search for a new life perception that involves putting our feet on the ground and living life like it is our last day. That makes philosophy special and part of my studies at Arcadia University. I chose philosophy as a minor, but I still think that philosophy chose me.

Heartbreak Weather Album Review

“Heartbreak Weather”, the sophomore album of former One Direction member Niall Horan was recently released on March 13th. As someone who lives and breathes music, I love to immersify myself in each new release that I’m interested in.

It debuted at number one on the iTunes Charts almost instantaneously after its drop. The album was introduced by three singles--the first one being a sultry and new age blend of rock/pop influences titled “Nice To Meet Ya.” Horan led fans to believe that this era was going to be more edgy than his debut singer/songwriter “Flicker.” The second single from the album gave fans a taste of the ex-boyband’s softer and more heartfelt side with “Put A Little Love on Me”, a ballad talking about the feelings one goes through after a breakup and how complex the simplicity of love truly is. The latest single protruding before the album’s highly anticipated release was the poppy “No Judgment”, a message from Horan to his fans that their relationship is a safe space for flaws and insecurities to be celebrated and embraced. 

The album starts off with the title track, “Heartbreak Weather,” which is a light and optimistic song perfect for putting the windows down and driving through the dewy spring weather. The album falls into some more rock influenced tunes that consist of deeper bass sounds and Horan channeling his inner Elvis Presley in the tracks, “Black and White”, “Small Talk”, and “New Angel.” Once Horan has told the story of the fun and anticipating parts of a new relationship, he starts painting the picture of one starting to go sour, where communication is lost and trust is nowhere to be found. He sings about his lover hurting him by setting standards far too high for him to live up to in the honest and raw, “Bend the Rules.” The album concludes with two tracks reminiscing on the no longer fruitful relationship, “San Francisco” and “Still,” both being memory books on the good times they shared and Horan pleading for what might be a try at the relationship again realizing how in love he was. The album tells a chronological story of all the things that come with heartbreak and the many facets that make the human experience a beautifully heart-wrenching story to be told.

Mental Health in the Athletics Community

As my basketball season has recently come to an end, I stumbled upon an important topic in between my postseason recovery and the start of “grind szn”. I was watching an Ohio State basketball game, the announcers were discussing how the team had lost many players that year due to injury, as well as one player (DJ Carton) taking time off for “mental health” and “personal reasons”. I was immediately confronted with the conflicting societal standard of how mental health is typically approached in the athletics community. The player with the mental health issue stuck out compared to the ankle and knee problems. Which although seems like no big deal, is actually a huge problem. 

Victoria Garrick, a former USC volleyball player is a huge advocate for athletes and mental health. In June of 2017, she gave a Ted Talk about her experience with these problems and how she dealt with them. 

Going back to the Ohio State team, Garrick explains the situation perfectly, of how hard it is for athletes to temporarily leave their team for the benefit of their mental health:

 “I could easily get the day off for a physical injury because I’m limping, you can see my ankle swelling. But for an athlete to say ‘I’ve been feeling depressed this week’ or ‘I’m having insomnia because of my anxiety’ you’re just looked down upon...When the trainer can see that you’re injured they make you sit out because they can see that your physical health is at stake. But when no one can see your mental health, it’s just up to you to decide.” 

She notes that the stigma behind mental health has an association with being weak, and the last thing that athletes want is for their teammates, coaches, school, family, trainers, and every single other person who helped them get to that point, to think that they’re weak. The more time they rest, the more time their competition has to surpass them. The weaker their coaches think they are, the less that they will play in games. The decision, to an athlete, seems to ultimately come down to what they value more, their mental health or trying not to let their team down. 

The fact that Garrick is willing to talk about her struggles so openly to create more awareness for athletes like Carton to make the decision he did represents how they are truly great role models. They are two amazing examples of how the athletic community, specifically the NCAA, needs to be aware and more willing to address the mental health issues that its athletes are having. They are public figures that I think all athletes should look up to. Placing themselves in the spotlight of fighting mental health in athletics, and forcing people to talk about it because no one wants to. Especially coming from such prestigious athletic schools as USC and Ohio State. 

But this problem isn’t just among major division one schools. Mental health needs to be emphasized more in all athletic teams around the country, division one, two and three alike. In order to practice what I preach I am willing to acknowledge that I have come face to face with these problems. I never found myself comfortable enough with this issue to take the time that I needed, and it definitely took a toll on me. As athletes, we all fear being called weak, or letting our team down. Overall, I think it is just so important that people, especially athletes, become willing to talk about mental health and the effects that it has. We need to all start looking at people like Garrick and Carton as strong role models for the athletic community, and strong voices who advocate for more provisions by the NCAA to address mental health. Overall, we need to treat mental health issues the same way that we treat physical injuries. Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean that it’s not there.

For anyone interested, here is a link to the Ted Talk! I would really recommend watching it!

To Be or Not To Be...That is the Question

Being stuck inside during this unprecedented outbreak of Covid-19 has left me with an overabundance of time to think about the choices I’ve made during my academic career. 

From the fourth grade until my sophomore year of high school I was certain that I would go to college to become a wildlife biologist so that I could work in Africa with the conservationists working to preserve Africa’s big cats. Then, chemistry happened and plans changed. 

I’d always been interested in writing stories and reading, so the logical next step was to focus on taking as many English and creative writing classes I could to be prepared for being an English/Creative Writing major in college. So, I became an English major in the Creative Writing concentration with a Professional Writing minor here at Arcadia. 

During Spring Break, however, I had a lot of time to find new shows to binge-watch and I stumbled upon the Animal Planet app and began watching The Zoo which takes viewers behind the scenes at the Bronx zoo to show how the animals are cared for and the breeding programs that are in place to repopulate endangered species in the wild. The more I watched it, the more I questioned why I didn’t stick with my desire to work with animals. Just watching the zookeepers interact with the big cats filled me with a sense of joy and knowledge that I would likely be happy to do that for the rest of my life. So, I began to research zoology degrees. 

Eventually, I had so many tabs open in Safari that I couldn’t even remember where I started. I was determined to tell my mother that I was changing colleges and majors so that I could spend my life working with big cats. Then, something happened that made me realize why I am majoring in creative writing. 

I closed all of my search tabs and as I was about to close my laptop I noticed that there was a blank space on my desktop where a folder should be. My heart dropped when I realized that the folder missing contained every document I ever created while working my novel. I thought it was gone since I, for some reason, never thought to back up those files. I began frantically searching through every folder on my computer hoping that I accidentally moved it without realizing I did. Just as I was about to give up, I opened a folder with information for another novel idea I was playing around with. There was my missing folder. 

Now, I am still an English/Creative Writing major and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sometimes losing something, or thinking you’ve lost something, is exactly what you need to remind you why you made the decisions you have.

My Emo Phase Made Me Do It

My long love of Panic! at the Disco and Fall Out Boy got me to watch one of the most thought-provoking and beautiful films I have ever watched. In Panic! at the Disco’s debut album A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out there is a song that is a direct reference to the film Closer called “Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off”. Pretty wordy for a song title, right? Well, the title of this song is a direct quote from this film. With my love for the band and their ever-meaningful lyrics, I decided I simply must watch this movie. 

If that weren’t enough to convince me, in Fall Out Boy’s song “Thnks fr th Mmrs” there is a line that is taken from the script verbatim as well: “he tastes like you but sweeter.” At this point, I was hooked before I had even read the description of this film.

Essentially, Closer is a fantastic coming of age story for all parties involved, starring Natalie Portman, Jude Law, Clive Owen, and Julia Roberts. I adored this movie because it made me really think about my life. It put everything into a different perspective. Let me tell you what this movie is the best I can without spoilers. Basically we have an American stripper moving to London for a fresh start who meets a, at the time, eulogy writer. It’s a simple story really, boy meets girl, the boy has a hero complex toward the girl, things get dramatic and… well, we end up in a spot considering what love means to people. It portrays struggles with the meaning of love, trust, identity, and what it really means to know a person. 

The characters in this film have tremendous growth and yet seem to be in the same place they started in some aspects. This film made me think “What do you need to know to know a person? Their name? Their age? Their likes? Their hates? Their tendencies?” etc. In reality, this film acted as a guide for me to explore what society has been telling me I want since I was a young girl. It made me review my wants and what I think about all of these questions and themes. 

I know it is quite an English major reaction to evaluate a film and have it influence my life, but, believe me, this doesn’t usually happen to me. I don’t go around watching Avengers and evaluate the emotional state and political indications of the film. However, the reason I love these bands so much, even though the peak of my emo phase is far behind me, is because their lyrics mean something. Sometimes they’re really abstract like “Through playful lips made of yarn/That fragile Capricorn/Unraveled words like moths upon old scarves” and sometimes they’re straight to the point “‘What a beautiful wedding/What a beautiful wedding’, says a bridesmaid to a waiter.” 

Anyways, that is why I am so glad that I took up Panic! at the Disco’s indirect movie recommendation and watched a film that means as much to me as their songs do. I would highly recommend this film to anyone who wants a bit of entertainment or a whole new insight into life. I feel like this movie is one of those that mean something different at different stages of life. Right now, it has helped me set my own tone and goals for my future in getting to know people and how I empathize with others. The fact that I watched this film two months ago and still rave about it should be a testament to my opinion of it overall. Now, I know that two of my favorite films were released in 2004—Closer and The Phantom of the Opera. I hope you let it have a chance of becoming one of your favorite films as well.

A Different Type of Corona Correspondence

Many people far more eloquent than me have attempted to give shape to the turbulent mess of emotions that have stemmed forth from the COVID 19 pandemic: anxiety at an uncertain timeline, fear for vulnerable loved ones, frustration at being indoors, grief for events both major and mundane, from thesis presentations and graduations, to something so tragically taken for granted like going to the gym or getting a Dairy Queen Blizzard. But sometimes what hurts me the most is simply being unable to see my friends, especially as the days get longer and brighter, practically inviting beach trips, bonfires, and all night hangouts. 

    That said, we are extraordinarily lucky that we live in a time where technology is so readily available and can bridge the distance corona has forced upon us. Though Zoom, FaceTime, Snapchat, texting, and whatever the Youths use these days, are not a replacement for face-to-face interaction, they certainly can ease the sting from being apart from friends for so long.

    But quarantine has allowed me to dabble in alternate forms of correspondence, mainly that of letter writing. The above-mentioned forms of communication have definitely primed us for preferring instant gratification and in comparison letter writing may seem downright antiquated. However, the one-sided, leisurely nature of writing letters lends an introspection and a kind of openness and intimacy that I personally am not so readily able to dive into (unless it’s like 4am—but I become a different person at that time.) In this way, they become a really good way to work through any thoughts and feelings that may be plaguing you, especially knowing that someone is on the other end to receive them and you aren’t just screaming into the void. 

    A great thing about writing letters is that you tend to receive them back in return! My newfound excitement at the sight of the mail truck each day does make me feel a bit like a German Shepherd, but it really has become a little something to look forward to when all my days start bleeding together and I find myself starring in the most boring version of Groundhog Day. My friends and I have also taken to sending along little doodles and adorning our envelopes with stickers which also never fails to bring a smile to my face.  

    Perhaps most of all, letter writing allows me to live out my fantasy of being a Jane Austen protagonist, fountain pen and all. I might be waxing about Joe Exotic and my love/hate relationship with Buffalo Wild Wings, as opposed to accounts of the latest ball or if Netherfield Park is let at last, but if you still see a handsome wealthy stranger traversing over the moors at dawn in one of those poofy white shirts and high-waisted pants, send him my way. All joking aside, I give my full-hearted recommendation to just send your friends a little note, whether serious or silly, just as a pick-me-up to let them know that you are thinking of them. In times like these, a little goes a long way.

Twin Peaks is Ruining My Life

I try to keep a clean house. I do my best to keep my books in order, and my neuroses in check. Sometimes, though, I can’t help myself: when I see myself standing on the brink of a new obsession, peering down upon the untold hours spent plundering and theorizing that lay ahead, I surrender myself completely. 

My obsessions tend to telegraph themselves in advance. By the time I had my first, life-altering encounter with the rough-hewn genius of Bob Dylan, the bard had already staked out expansive real estate in my imagination thanks to the pivotal background role he played in the development of my previous (and similarly all-encompassing) obsession, The Beatles. I developed a working sense for what was “Lynchian” long before watching Twin Peaks; I sensed his particular brand of “Rockwell-meets-Kubrick” surrealism in the inscrutable, oneiric architecture of alt-games I enjoyed in my early teens and unknowingly uncovered the bedrock of his sensibility via the Italian New Wave filmmaker Frederico Fellini. At the very least I knew I would find Twin Peaks interesting; after all, everything I knew about it gave me the impression that it would be the missing link between the new and old media that I enjoyed. 

However — nothing could have prepared me for the ruthless efficiency with which Twin Peaks has territorialized my interests and planted a giant sinkhole in my head, the perimeter of which bears an uncanny resemblance with that of a cherry pie. In retrospect, I didn’t stand a chance.

For the uninitiated, Twin Peaks is a lighthearted soap opera about — well, no, it’s more of a neo-noir melodrama that follows — scratch that, there are actually a lot of horror elements, now that I think about it…. 

Right. At its genre-dismantling, coffee-guzzling best, the original run of Twin Peaks embodied everything that 90s television was, and everything that it wasn’t. Though occasionally pinned down as a parody of the soap opera format, the inimitable style of Twin Peaks could be more accurately defined as a postmodern simulation of television itself: imagine a cathode ray tube capable of displaying every syndicated cable series in unison. Twin Peaks isn’t a parody of a soap opera, it IS a soap opera — and a melodrama, a thriller, etc. This isn’t to say that Peaks was subject to popular conventions, however — far from it. The show’s original 2-season run was about uncovering the mystery of Laura Palmer’s murder, an objective that Lynch and fellow show-runner Mark Frost pursued in a typically off-beat and circuitous manner. It becomes evident from its very first moments that Twin Peaks is governed by a fundamentally different set of values to its contemporaries. The bulk of the iconic pilot is concerned with grief; not the sort of prepackaged agony peddled by stiffly economic drama as a means of shuttling characters from point A to point B, but a startlingly empathetic expression of deeply-felt loss. Scene after excruciating scene of reactions from the people who loved Laura Palmer reveal Twin Peaks to be an altogether more humanistic project than modern audiences were used to, throwing a bomb into the entrenched camps of consumable, weightless violence that ruled the airwaves in 1990. Dale Cooper, the affable FBI agent in charge of the investigation into Laura’s death, put it best: 

“Murder is not a faceless event here. It's not a statistic to be tallied up at the end of every day. Laura Palmer's death has affected each and every man, woman, and child. Because life has meaning here. Every life. And that's a way of living I thought had vanished from this earth. It hasn't…. It's right here, in Twin Peaks.

Even in retrospect, the massive success of Twin Peaks seems like a miracle. It’s difficult to overstate how bracingly Avant-Garde the show was: even beyond its tonal ambivalence, stylistic bricolage, and radical humanism, Peaks displays an uncommon willingness to confront its audience with images and ideas that elude interpretation altogether. In the third episode of season one Dale Cooper is brought to the Red Room, part of an interstitial realm inhabited by supernatural entities that aid his investigation in strange and oblique ways. That the nature of this ulterior reality is still subject to fierce debate 30 years later speaks to the effectiveness of David Lynch’s highly esoteric artistic ethos. The pseudo-Gnostic, dreamlike mysticism of Twin Peaks gets under your skin; disparate ideas are presented and left to simmer unresolved, kicking the viewer’s subconscious into overdrive as it tries to connect the pieces.

With these things in mind, it’s no wonder that Twin Peaks managed to inspire such scholarly deconstruction among its fanbase. Its fandom boasts some 42 running podcasts, a website devoted to fan theories, and a four-and-a-half-hour YouTube video purporting to unlock each of Twin Peaks’ mysteries. 

    Rewatching Twin Peaks’ 2017 revival series over the same few weeks that I’ve spent binging Better Call Saul has made clear to me the qualities that fundamentally separate David Lynch’s work from that of his peers. In sharp contrast to the utilitarian, effortlessly-legible cinematic language of serials like Saul, Lynch’s does not work with closed systems. That is to say, his films follow an internal logic that is easy to intuit, yet nearly impossible to parse. This is the point: if there exists a single correct interpretation of Twin Peaks, Lynch is keeping it to himself.