On the Occasion of Being Mistaken for a Dumb Student by Classmates and Friends at School

It feels like others are dressing me in clothes

that don’t suit my style, when I get mistaken for

a dumb, naive girl.

Because that is far from the reality

Growing up, I was a bright, talented individual.

Like a sponge, I easily absorbed the information around me.

I was quick to catch the tiny details.

And I even deciphered patterns

and made connections to the world around me.

But somewhere along the road,

my confidence shattered like

a glass that someone clumsily dropped

So that now, I carry myself with a lack of self-assurance,

as if I’m afraid that I’ll fall apart into those shards of glass.

People mistake my lack of confidence

for a lack of intelligence.

And the most terrifying part of it all,

as I have been dressed in those same clothes

over and over again,

I have internalized that impression.

It’s as if the fabric has blended into my skin

so that it’s now impossible to take off.

Consequently, I keep finding myself in situations where

I am mistaken for being a dumb girl

and my abilities are underestimated.

If I were to draw one silver lining to this all,

it’s that I’m a sort of dark horse:

no one sees me as a threat, so I pass by

easily and silently like a dark fog.

But in the end, I come out on top where no one expected me to be. Of course, I can’t mask my feelings of pain and frustration as

again and again,

I am not taken seriously

and people, from classmates to “friends,”

find my success so surprising.

However, I always find myself being surprised the most

to the point where I separate myself from my achievements

because I can’t see myself as someone who is capable of accomplishing great things.

But I’m working on building a strong, unassailable fort around myself

Strong enough that no one will be able to penetrate it

And hurt me any longer.