el mar

everything is an open sea

as i stand on the shore the waves crash

the currents are circling

my feet

and i just want the undulation to stop

pull me into the

deep water

into the trenches where i can no longer see

let me sink

as i watch the air escape my throat

and bubble to the surface

if i swim far out enough

i will finally grow tired

as my limbs grow sore

and i am finally filled with fatigue

i turn for a bit

and float on my back

and look up at the stars and sigh

and let the cold black water succumb

i remember a story once

that a friend told me years ago

about how she drank so much water

threw it back up into the sea.

i think thats how i feel

i think i should return to the sea

in the most disgusting way possible

because dying clean and pretty

was never for me