Wednesday 28th October, 2009
My dear Jeremy,
Thank for your email and your feedback. You are so understanding and so sympathetic about how I found it difficult to say a final ‘goodbye’ to my Mother. I think you are right I should have been brave enough to look at her in death. That you felt the same as I did when we stood with Jill saying ‘goodbye’ to Daddy and felt he had gone to his private place. It was not any less painful but perhaps helped us to come to acknowledge his death but I still had to keep a ‘stiff upper lip’. I could not allow myself to fall apart. Dad would not have liked that.
One day I will share Darling’s letters with you and tell you more about her – all in good time.
Now I must tell you what was going on at home while I was away in East London. Not long ago I found a letter of Dad’s written at that time but where I put it for safe-keeping I just can’t remember despite a big hunt yesterday. After Jill and I were put on the plane for South Africa both Dad and Christopher went down with mumps. They went to bed together and Dad kept Christopher going by reading to him or telling stories. The favourite ones he made up himself. As Christopher recovered he never stopped talking and all Dad wanted to do was be quiet and sleep.
I had recently employed a new cook and thought I was being a good citizen by agreeing to take on an ex-convict to help him rehabilitate. Of course, with a broad, cheerful grin he said he could cook but the invalids declared his food was horrible.
One day I could not stand it any longer so asked him why he had been sent to gaol. Imagine my horror when he told me he had killed his brother. Why, I asked. ‘Because he broke my mirror’, was his reply. A small round mirror in a celluloid holder was a proud possession of many Africans. One day looking at his face in the cracked mirror something snap. I suppose they had a fight and he was charged with manslaughter. I do not think he stayed very long after that….
I found another book with some diary entries for 1953 and 1954. As I know you are interested in the political situation of that time I thought I would copy the notes I wrote down then after a meeting of members of staff at Lovedale in October.
‘Dr Shepherd gave a resume of the Native Education Act quoted from Hansard of speeches by Dr Smit, Secretary of Native Education, and Mrs Ballinger (always a fighter for African rights) and quoted the opinion of Mr de Villiers, Chief Native Inspector. All so vague delegating untold powers to the Minister’s discretion. The Eiselen Commission report was to be implemented after transference of African Education to a Native Affairs Department.
A wicked bill which must surely give the low-ceiling to native education and thus freeze Fort Hare (the university) or force them to accept a lower standard of degree examinations. I think Mugabe was a student at Fort Hare about this time. Dr Shepherd and Mr Benyon principal of the Secondary school) clutched on the following straws:
1) It will take a long time (to implement)
2) That Fort Hare must be fed so surely Lovedale will be left to feed it.
I cannot feel so hopeful. Mr Mashonlogan (not sure of spelling) and Mr Segoni spoke.
Mr Segoni off the point made a fuss about African representation on Lovedale Governing council."
Other entries you might be interested in
‘Michael and Hamish sat at home and sozzled.’
‘Have strong feelings Michael’s book will be published – can’t remember if it was Cheese for Supper or David and Jonathan
Christopher: I can say three Afrikaans words: “Op die kop” “Ag voetsek”.
On Sunday I watched the final episode of a new production of Jane Austens Emma and the failed picnic on Box Hill reminded me of an evening on the 11th October which I also recorded in the diary entries. The MacTavishes who had invited the Dickie-Clarks and a young geography lecturer from Fort hare ex-Oxford . I quote’ They tried to make it a ‘young people’s’ evening and showed slides of Formosa (where they had been) the usual tourist type and skimmed lightly over a few topics – played some Chinese music. A hopeless flop. Hamish Dickie-Clark restless and bored, quite outrageous. Michael tried to be neutral, and jokey. Elaine (D-C) seemed quite placid. I thought the evening quite dreadful. Had a good tea though. .’
Michael and I review whole position of CJ i.e. Michael talks and I listen. CJ’s comment on being reprimanded ‘You know how short-tempered I get in the wintertime’
Use or discard what you like from this.
Love, you, Mum