Letter 015 - 1948 - Firstborn

Tuesday 7^th July, 2009.

Dear Jeremy,

Sorry about last week but preparing for Christopher’s visit left me with no spare time to write. On Wednesday we sorted the camping stuff in the camping corner of the loft – so many memories…. We took some things to the tip and others we took to Cathy on Thursday which we called a ‘holiday day’. We took Cathy and Imogen to lunch in Brockhill Park. In the evening we had fish and chips with Celia and Geoff down on the sea front, enjoying Celia's home made wine. It was a very happy day. On Friday Christopher went home by train – now he has gone all "green"! The journey after Victoria was awful, jam packed, hot and a delay along the line. I forbore to enquire if he was still "green"…..

Now it is thundering and lightening and raining heavily which brings to my mind the terrible storms we endured in Pietermaritzburg. Such a din on the tin roof made of corrugated iron. One night it was really bad and I was really scared. Michael had an evening lecture to attend at the university. I begged him not to go as I was fearful for him going out in the storm but actually I was more fearful for myself being left alone.

He went and I was so cross that I locked the door and when he came home I pushed my wedding ring under the door. I suspect he just laughed at me. I have no memory of letting him in or forgiving him.

Of course I did have the dogs for company and they had each other when we went out. Going to the bioscope (cinema) was one of our pleasures but after the first time leaving Bonnie and Skelly we had to get a dog sitter. Bonnie had registered her objection to our disappearance by taking a pound of butter out of the cupboard (no fridge) and wiping it over the sitting room wall. Skelly knew that was wrong and looked so guilty when we came in but we knew he would not have done such a naughty thing.

I think it was April when I flew to East London to attend the graduation ceremony at Rhodes. Mum, Dad and Bazil drove me over to Grahamstown. It was a very proud moment for me and the family. I could now write B.Com. behind my name. I sailed back to Durban in one of the Castle liners and Michael met me in Durban.

The next thing we knew I was pregnant. One day, while sun bathing on the lawn by the swimming pool at Rhodes, quite out of the blue Michael asked me, “Do you believe in birth control?” I was somewhat taken back but agreed that I did. Obviously I was not very good at it, or else Christopher was very keen to get into this world.

I hardly knew I was pregnant and kept very well. Wendy, who was also pregnant, introduced me to Doctor Grantly Dick Read and his theories on Natural Childbirth and relaxation. I bought his book and another with exercises and studied them. Never have I liked doing exercises especially when one has to get down on the floor, so, to encourage me, Michael joined me and was very tickled about ‘rocking his pelvis’!

Now I had to find a doctor who was sympathetic to Natural Childbirth so sent Michael out to look for one. He found one who was not "anti" but I suspect he was mildly amused by my youthful innocence.

I continued to work at the Agricultural Department. My Mother came up from East London to be with me. That was a very happy time. She had made a beautiful trousseau for the baby and brought many gifts. One amusing episode was when we were sitting on the verandah in some old deck chairs when suddenly hers collapsed. She was not hurt and just burst our laughing – she always had a wonderful sense of humour and we had many giggles together. Bonnie, keen to join in the excitement, brought along a piece of wood and dumped it in her lap which made getting up out of the chair, even with my help, more difficult.

The baby was due at the beginning of December, but Christmas came and went and Christopher arrived on the 29^th of December. The birth went well and was natural but not for either help nor sympathy from an old midwife who told me:

“You women who read about all these things do yourselves more harm than good”.

As a result she was not ready when the head crowned and I can still see her putting chloroform on a piece of cotton wool and putting it over my nose. When I came to the doctor was standing there and told me I had a son. Later I heard that if the doctor was not present at the birth he need not be paid but did not know that nor have I ever had any confirmation of this but I still puzzle why she put me out.

I was in a Nursing Home not a hospital. One was kept in bed for days and I think I stayed there for two weeks until the baby’s cord came off. And the milk supply was well established.

Christopher was very beautiful, of course. He was not a red faced baby, his skin was clear like marble. I remember when Michael held him in his arms for the first time. “Hello, my son”, he said. Chris opened his blue eyes and looked hard at him and Michael’s whole world changed.

Babies were kept in the nursery and only brought out to be fed at regular feeding times. This did mean that mothers had a good rest before going home to deal with the baby alone. Things are very different today.

My Mother stayed on for another week then my Father came to fetch her after New Year.

As you see 1948 was a momentous year. I was twenty two.

Love you, Mum

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