Speak: A Foster Care Series

I Have Built Something Beautiful

By Abigail Wolfe

February 8, 2018

My name is Abby. I was in and out of the child welfare system beginning when I was eight years old. My mom paid more attention to men and drugs than me. I went to school in dirty clothes that didn’t fit. I was removed from my mother's care when I was eight years old, and from there I was placed with my stepmother and biological father. Things went well for a few years, but by the time I was 12 I began to struggle.

I often felt unloved and angry, so I turned to self-harm. My father and stepmother were selling and using drugs. My father was shot, and it was deemed no longer safe to live with them. My three sisters and I we were removed from their care and placed with a relative. This relative had her own children, and soon found it too hard to take on four additional girls. We were then placed with another relative. Eventually, we were returned to our father and stepmother.

My issues had not stopped; I was still self-harming, lying,and engaging in destructive behaviors. I was then placed in a group home; I could have left the group home after 6 months, but I was not ready.

At the group home I learned about coping skills, how to manage daily life, and I finally stopped self-harming. I also found I had a knack for photography; I poured my passion and self into it.

I put a lot of effort into mending things with my father and stepmother prior to leaving the group home. I brought up the idea of foster care, but my stepmother said it was out of the question. Eventually, I was returned home and life was okay for a few weeks. Soon, however, my environment became violent again; my stepmother physically abused me.

I met with my counselor and I told her that if she made me go home, I would run away. Shortly thereafter, I was placed in a youth emergency shelter for a night. My parents decided we could all use a break, so I participated in a weekend of respite. I spent the weekend with AMP Facilitator, Terri Bailey and her husband. On the second day of respite, my stepmother called and said maybe it would be better if I didn’t come home. I remember crying and passing the phone back to Terri explaining what had happened.

I finished my junior and senior year with Terri and became a part of her family. I expressed my passion for photography. AMP, as well as Terri, made my dreams a reality.

Back when when I lived with my father and stepmother, I was asked to do photography for the Anne And Bill Riley Talent Search for the Iowa State Fair; I had quickly brushed it off as something I wasn't good enough to do. While I lived with Terri, however, I felt ready. Something inside me clicked and I knew that I was meant to take pictures. I had always loved photography, and I was finally doing what I loved.

I graduated high school, worked as a camp counselor, and moved out on my own.

One year later, I was asked by the Iowa State Fair to photograph the Anne And Bill Riley Talent Search. They loved my work. I was asked to return the next year, and the year after that. This opportunity gave me the confidence and drive to enroll in business courses and launch my own business: Abigail Wolfe Photography.

I came from a background of abuse, neglect, and hate; from this I have built something beautiful.

This article has been edited for length and clarity.

Would you like to share your experiences in the child welfare system? Submit stories to Iowa NYTD at betsy.penisten@iowa.gov.