Conjugial Love as experienced within a couple is an emulation of the marriage of Love and Wisdom within the Lord, and for that reason is worth preserving and promoting in society.
Examining the philosophy that is the New Church and the historical context of the work Conjugial Love.
This course makes no assumptions about any student's prior exposure to New Church theology, and works to build a framework from the ground up that will be useful to newcomers and returning students alike. For some, aspects of this unit will serve as a refresher in the basic elements of what makes New Church theology distinctive. For others, this material will feel very familiar, despite never studying it formally. And still, there will be those who encounter these ideas for the first time in this course. This course is designed to serve everyone.
Unit Contents:
A crash course in Divine Revelation (Old Testament, New Testament, and Heavenly Doctrines)
An introduction to the life and uses of theologian Emanuel Swedenborg.
A review of core doctrines of the New Church and how they overlap (the Lord, the Word, regeneration, and the spiritual world)
An Introduction to the book Conjugial Love (also called Marriage Love)
A review of the public reception of Conjugial Love since its publication
Examining the evolution of marriage love and the ever-shifting definitions of marriage in society.
Following the exploration of basic theological framework and relevant history, this unit takes a look at the history of marriage in the world. This is very important, because if we remain ignorant of the spread of marital traditions, as well as the history of the institution, we are keeping ourselves in the dark. According to New Church theology, the origin of marriage is the Lord (namely, the marriage of good and truth that exists within Him), however, it has morphed and twisted throughout history. This unit is built around the belief that if we know more about the history, we can better understand where we are right now and where we can go if we are deliberate about how we live.
The history of marriage can be difficult to study, because today it is a very charged issue, and for that reason, there are many histories composed and presented for the purpose of swaying public opinion. This unit attempts to present an unbiased history of marriage and makes use of a variety of media. It is not expected that students will become experts in marital history, however, it is expected that they will at least be brought into an awareness of just how varied the treatment of marriage has been since the dawn of history, and that this awareness will give them an appreciate of just how complicated the subject has always been.
This unit attempts to build from the ground up, beginning with a history of biological reproduction, then taking a look at the different forms of the institution of marriage, and finally, the dawn of romance and self-actualization in relationships (NOTE: this order flips the old playground song "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage," as it is the real order of the evolutuon of human relationships).
Unit Contents:
A review of the evolution of sexual reproduction, and it's advantages over asexual reproduction
An exploration of the evolution of marriage in post-colonial North America and how it emulates human marital history
A history of marriage throughout history
Marriage at the time of Swedenborg
Modern manifestations of marriage
Examining the correlation between healthy marriages and healthy society.
Whether a marriage is deeply romantic, merely a marriage of convenience, or anything in-between, all marriages rely on commitment in order to be successful. This commitment extents beyond the two (or more, as the case may be) in the marriage and impacts families, communities, and ultimately broader society. When a marriage succeeds, everyone benefits. When a marriage fails, everyone is hurt. Marriage and society are linked, but how? How real is this connection? Must this be the case? Is this a human construct or a Divine construct?
This unit takes a look at this connection and draws from history, sociology, the Bible, and New Church theology in an attempt to get a real sense of what impact marriage has on society, and why.
Unit Contents:
Independent Research on the value of marriage in society
A New Church History Lesson (Golden Age, Silver Age, Copper Age, Iron Age, Clay Age, and beyond)
Biblical treatment of sex and marriage
Love, Lust, and Marriage: Why we stay and why we stray
Marriage Myths and Misconceptions
The Puzzle of Monogamous Marriage
Examining the source of all connections (“marriages” in this world, the Lord’s goodness and truth)
Thus far in the course, in addition to material from the Heavenly Doctrines, the units have relied heavily on secular resources: including history, sociology, science, psychology, and counseling. It is at this point that we take a distinctly New Church view on the subject, though we will refer to knowledge gained from this prior material throughout the remainder of the course.
Examining marriage in and of itself is a lot like examining a result without considering the events that led up to that result. This course takes the perspective that marriage, in and of itself, is not worth studying, rather, it is in the study of the origin of marriage that a student will find meaning. This sounds odd at first, but after study of the Divine origins of marriage, students will see that the dynamics of marriage begin first in the Lord, manifest in all of creation, are experienced in an individual, and expressed most powerfully in the connection of a husband and wife.
Unit Contents:
Introductory survey of the origin of marriage from the Heavenly Doctrines
The goodness and truth in the Lord
The "distcinct unities" in creation
The love and wisdom from the Lord
The will and intellect in a person
The masculine and feminine in humanity
Examining orderly relationships and situations with positive outcomes.
During this unit, we turn our focus to how positive marriages can be, and the steps that lead there. We take an idealistic view and imagine some best case scenarios. This chapter recognizes that like any thing that is worthwhile, a healthy marriage takes work.
In this unit, a lot of time is dedicated to the subject of consent. This is in response to the teaching repeated throughout the book Conjugial Love that "consent is the essential of marriage" (CL 21 et al.). This is true of any realtionship--friends must choose to be friends, employees must choose to be employees, even in adulthood, children must choose to heed the advice and be in relationship with their parents. This also works on an institutiona level: consider consent of the governed, medical consent, consent in contractual agreements, and more.
From here we move to consider the orderly progression of love, from attraction to marriage. What steps work? How can two best become one? The book Conjugial Love in its chapter on Weddings and Betrothals, offers a step by step progression for two people moving from being individuals to being a couple. This progression can be viewed as something that must be done, as a prescription/recipe for the development of the state of conjugial love. But it can also be viewed as a description of a process that can lead to the state of conjugial love. Students are left in freedom to consider each of these stages, conduct research, and consult with peers to determine how they understand these stages.
Unit Contents:
Consent and freedom
Consent and sense of Self
Consent and sexuality
The orderly progression on love toward marriage
Dating and courtship
Betrothal and marriage
Healthy boundaries
Examining disorderly relationships and unpleasant situations
In Unit 5, we took a look at an ideal relationship situation--one where there was careful and deliberate growth and conncection. While it is fair to say that the scenario is "too good to be true," examining an ideal situation can be very useful, as it presents something to hope for and work towards. And at the same time, dwelling in the clouds for too long can leave people with an unrealistic view of how challenging life can really be. In a vacuum, the ideal is great and easy to live, but it can be stressful and disheartening to bring that ideal scenario and philosophy into the flawed world where "moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal"**.
This unit focuses on major stressers in relationships, what obstacles can get in the way of having fulfilling friendships, the pitfalls that exist within marriage, marriage myths, what kills friendship and marriage, and more. This unit makes every attempt to be as careful and considerate of the real life experiences students bring to this course from their own lives. All information is presented respectfully, and is addressed in an academic and conceptual way. The hope is that in studying various disorders in relationships, students will be aware of the possibilities, and in their own lives make deliberate choices that help them to avoid or recover from their own trials.
Unit Contents:
Cold states
Separation
Adultery
Divorce
Sexual disorder
**Matt 6:19
Examining possibilities for repair for relationships that have experienced hardship
The last instructional unit of this course pertains to how relationships can be, patched, repaired, and recovered from hardship. Studying the challenges in relationships can leave people feeling hopeless and a bit unsure about how to make things work. It can be disheartening to recognize the difference between the ideal scenario and how bad things can get. This unit takes the time to end the instruction with a hopeful messge: no matter how bad things get, there's always a chance for recovery.
Unit Contents:
Re-establishing consent
Making love apparent
Restoring friendship
Expressing favor
Planned separation
Usefulness of counseling
This course teaches many important doctrines and concepts, however, it can be very difficult to hold them all. In order to help conclude the course, students are given the opportunity to take a hard look at all of the concepts they've learned and to determine a hierarchy, from important to most important--useful to most useful.
Following this, we prepare for the final assessment.
Unit Contents:
Creating a Hierarchy of Doctrine
Final Assessment Prep
Final Assessment