Personal Declaration

August 01, 2020

Some words on the history of my rationality and why I have found myself at present in a seemingly irrational position.

My parents separated when I was 3 years old. Occasionally my sister and I would have vacations to visit our father and step-mother. Aside from that, the general feeling I had was of being loved and cared for by half measures. Having 2 step-fathers during my youth that were transitory added to the confusion. Living in the US and being uncircumcised and Slavic in part and name did not help either.

Nonetheless, during my adolescence it was explained to me that the grand mother of my mother was a notable person as was the father of my father. Without too many questions I accepted this and felt as though this was some sort of consolation for being a bastard oddball.

By the time I was 16, and had been moved by my second step-father and mother to a rather kingly property in Virginia, most all of my feelings of inadequacy soon melted away. I was off to university, getting great marks, and all seemed to be moving into place. Then of course things could only get worse, but despite a frightening experience at 19, at 21 I had moved to Hawaii with my girlfriend, and began a modest putting things back together. My mother and step-father visited us once in the 3 years we were there and relations were good. Unfortunately my father had been diagnosed with cancer according to my step-mother and so I thought it best to find a way back to the mainland for that reason and opportunities sake.

I left my girlfriend who is 3 years my senior and deserved a better man, and moved in with my mother and step-father in Miami. Again feeling I had to put pieces back together. They had found a great house after leaving the one in Virginia in troubling circumstances. I never inquired much about details, I just listened and asked questions occasionally about their bankruptcy. Regardless, they were hanging together like troopers, and I felt one of the team. Aside from the glaring difference between my step-father and I politically, it seemed a happy three some.

They were happy to help me get through my bachelors degree at university and I spent my free time developing my graphic arts and design skills. Despite my father and half-brother passing before the turn of the millennium and leaving not so much as a note for me, I didn't take it personally, but they were my two favorite people in my family. Again despite September 11 2001 I kept working on moving my design company forward, and was very pleased my stay in Miami was subsidized. My mother believed in my talent, and we had always been close, but I knew I could count on her, and I took her for granted in too many ways.

Then in 2007 my mother and step-father began a divorce, I filed a patent for an energy device I had been musing about, and she started declining in health. Now having been in Miami for 10 years and my first nervous breakdown in 2000, it was now time for my second. Nonetheless I stayed to help my mom with doctors visits and hold down the fort, just the two of us. Again her continued financial support allowed me to continue research and development.

A bitter feeling was setting in. She had been unhappily married, but did what she could to try to make it work, and it didn't. The middle ground I was on now was gone. Not only politically was my step-father my foe but now personally. Lockheed Martin and ilk was not going to do us in, and I dug in the best I could for the long haul, and so did she. Digging for answers to many questions was my second full time job apart from the design and music work/research I was doing.

Many uncomfortable facts were found. I had already a general appreciation for the amount of stink in paradise, but now it was foul, and I kept digging for more details. Why 911? Why Yugoslavia failed? Why Van Rensselaer a step-father? Why Kennedy killed and the Cuban missile crisis? Why WWI? Why the Balfour Declaration? Etc., etc.

For the next 10 years I was rationally pursuing the truth and increasing my design prowess. Then hurricane Irma hit, and soon thereafter I was motherless, homeless, and went back to Colorado where I had been from 3 to 16 years old. Another reassessment and putting of things back together. This time however as I was now aware that I and my company had presumably been blacklisted since 1998 when I gave a presetation on the book "Profits of War" at university, there was little reason to pretend now that I could once again live peaceably on the middle ground with all the uncomfortable facts. Having an old friend threaten to "hunt" me didn't help either.

All the petty details aside, I now can honestly say that I conscientiously object to being human, and that, insofar as I am able to prove, is a rational perspective that is in accordance with my soul.

Several of the dots connected can be found here:

http://sites.google.com/site/xirjadesign/ipe

and here: http://www.facebook.com/dimitri.vorkapich

and as a Phoenician-Hittite-Hebrew ritual commodity, the thought of taking part in any of their many usury schemes makes me ill.

Gratefully,

Dimitri Vorkapich

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