Grief Responses
Typical Responses
Adults tend to grieve through sadness, emotional pain, and introspection. However, this is not the same for children. The following are common reactions by age group:
Preschool: Regressive behaviors, decreased verbalization, increased anxiety
Elementary: Decreased academic performance, attention/concentration, and attendance; irritability, aggression, and disruptive behaviors; somatic complaints; sleep/eating disturbances; social withdrawal; guilt, depression, and anxiety; repeated re-telling of the event
Middle/high school: Decreased academic performance, attention/concentration, and attendance; avoidance, withdrawal, high risk behaviors or substance abuse, difficulty with peer relations, nightmares, flashbacks, emotional numbing or depression.
(National Association of School Psychologists, 2017)
Grief is a normal response to loss. While people who are grieving require love, support, and patience, grief does not automatically require therapy. However, if the grief response does not naturally begin to subside after several weeks/months, or if the child is engaging in dangerous behavior while grieving, it may be appropriate to reach out for additional support (see the Therapy section for guidance).
Developmental Considerations
Because children's ability to reason and express themselves changes as they grow, grief responses tend to vary by age group. Here is a more detailed chart that outlines typical beliefs, emotions, and behaviors by age group: Navigating Children's Grief: How to Help Following a Death (Children's Grief Education Association)
References
National Association of School Psychologists (2017). Addressing grief: brief facts and tips. Retrieved from https://www.nasponline.org/resources-and-publications/resources-and-podcasts/school-climate-safety-and-crisis/mental-health-resources/addressing-grief