North Ogden Elementary's Counseling Page
ParentsGuidance.org
Bullying... What is it? What to do about it?
Bullying: The Month of October, all students will receive lessons on Bullying Prevention. What it looks like and what to do about it.
Respect - Treating others the way you would want to be treated.
Recognize- What is Bullying? 1- Harmful 2- Repeated 3- One-Sided 4- Often an imbalance of Power
What to do? Refuse - Tell them to Stop assertively and/or Report - ask and adult for help.
We discuss the difference between
Rude - Not always on purpose and often thoughtless, unintentional
Mean - On purpose, but happens once or infrequently and can be a two-sided conflict
Bullying - 1- On purpose 2-Repeated 3- One-Sided 4- Imbalance of Power (Bigger, Older, Intimidating, More people, Threats, etc.)
If you feel your student is being bullied, please reach out or encourage them to ask for help.
Helping your student with Anxiety...
Anxiety is a common reason for Counseling Referrals and something that young people and adults seem to be struggling with more than ever. Here are some resources that might help...
Dealing with Failure
Failure is not the end of the world, it is actually the place you get to when you are forced to figure out what to do next, how to pick yourself up and move forward (resiliency). Failure is actually critical to a child’s healthy development. It empowers them to learn how to handle hard - & everyone will face hard from time to time in their life.
Letting kids mess up is hard and can even be downright painful for parents. But, failure really helps kids learn to fix slip-ups - mistakes. It helps them to learn how to make a better decision the next time. Failure truly is an important part of life. It helps to shape and refine us - & makes us stronger.
If a child has an assignment, too often we as parents think that if we don’t make sure that the assignment is done & even done perfectly, we are not a good parent. We sometimes battle with our kids over these kinds of things, hurting our relationship, even affecting their feelings about learning. The truth is - a good parent lets their child see and feel the consequences of their actions - as long as it is not dangerous or detrimental to their health, of course. Maybe the consequence is a missed recess or “Fun Friday” activity, to finish an assignment. Or maybe it is missing out on a family movie night. That’s okay. That little bit of discomfort is powerful in helping them make better choices next time.
Ultimately the student’s school work is their responsibility and we want the student to learn to care more about their education than their parents and teachers do. There is no doubt that this can take some time, but helping them take ownership for this is vital for their academic success.
This resource is thanks to
Jeana James, Washington School District, Elementary School Counselor
Parenting Tips: Use How Questions
When promoting problem-solving skills in our kids we want to use “HOW” questions and avoid “WHY” questions. If your child left their bike in the rain, and you ask “why?” What will they say? “I forgot. I’m careless.” Ask “how” instead, “You left your bike in the rain, and now your chain rusted. How are you going to fix that?” Let them figure out what they will need to do. Maybe they could go online and see how to fix the chain, or earn money to replace the chain.
Keep in mind “how” questions promote developing skills. How do you push yourself when you feel like giving up? How do you make sure your homework gets done when there are more fun things to do? How do you handle the hard kid at recess? How do you get yourself out of bed when it’s warm and cozy?
Remember our tendency is to go straight to the “why” questions, but training ourselves to ask “how” questions will help our kids build powerful problem solving skills - building their strength & resilience.
This resource is thanks to Jeana James, Washington School District, Elementary School Counselor
Parenting Tips: Helping Kids go to Bed at Night
Bed time can be a difficult time for kids and parents. I've been reading a book that helps parents with strategies to get their little ones to sleep in an easier, calmer, and less "monster filled" manner. I thought I would summarize a few of the ideas. The book is What to Do When You Dread Your Bed by Dawn Huebner, Ph.D.
First of all... Suggested minimum hours of sleep are:
6-8 years old - 11 hours
9-11 years old - 10 hours
12 or more years old - 9 hours
Some Sleep Tips:
Create a bed time journal (kids write down 2 or 3 calm activities that they will do before they go to bed each night. (puzzles, take a bath, draw, read, look at the stars).
Use a "Shift Activity" 10 minutes before bed time. This signals your brain each night that it is time to go to sleep. (a snack & brush teeth, say goodnight to all the pets, write in a journal, etc.)
If Fears are an issue, play the Famous Fear Melting Super Hiding Game. The child picks an object to hide around the house. All other family members stay in a room "the waiting room". When the child comes back from hiding the object, he/she now remains in the "waiting room" while family member search for the object. Play for 10 minutes. This game is to help the child learn to be alone and alone in different parts of the house. This game can be repeated until there's improvement.
If your child keeps calling you back to the room, crying, here is a fun game you can play. Each night your child gets 3 "Call Back" tickets. These are tickets you make that simply say "Call Back". Using tape, stick the tickets on the child's bedroom door. If they call for you, you return, remind them it's time to go to sleep, and take a ticket. (No answering distracting questions, explaining why we're doing this, etc.) If a student gets out of bed on their own to go to the restroom, etc. and they see you, that is a ticket. The game comes in when, you and the child decide on something they can buy with their "Call Back" tickets, giving them incentive to try to save them. (The author points out that if you engage with the child when using their tickets, this will become more rewarding than the ticket, so calming reassure, and walk away. Of letting them use their "Call Back" bucks as soon as they've saved enough will be key.
This is a fun book that can be shared with kids that are struggling to sleep. There are more great ideas and I'm happy to loan my book or help with ideas! Good Luck!
